Life is what you make of it
by TaintedLove
Summary: Grace/Mr. Dmitri/Eli... lalalalalala, Okay, guess what? This series is now *COMPLETED*! Chapter 34 is the last chapter! Enjoy!
1. He's a great man

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is What You Make of it  
  
  
  
  
  
Hey thanks for reading. I loved Once and Again and watching some old episodes recently drove me to start writing this fanfic. I hope you enjoy it. It is going to deal with Grace/ Mr. Augustus Dmitri (is it really August? I like Augustus better, so I'll be using that) and also with Eli. Okay background for my story, it takes place when Grace and Jessie were doing the play and starts off just after Grace didn't show up to help Jessie get ready for her first date. So, on with the show..  
  
Chapter One: He's a great man  
  
  
  
"Gracie."  
  
Grace leaned against her bedroom door, a sigh bubbled up in her throat and she forced it back down. She knew her mother was right on the other side of the door, just waiting for a chance to yell at her some more. Grace couldn't give her mother another thing to gripe about.  
  
"Grace. Jessie was really upset, you know. You let her down - you let me down too."  
  
Grace sunk to the floor, how could her mother treat her this way? So, she let her stepsister, Jessie, think she'd help her get ready for her date and didn't show. But, oh no, it's Jessie's first date, everyone jump for joy!! Grace shook her head angrily. Everyone loved little blond beautiful Jessie. Jessie with the voice of an angel, who almost stole the lead role in the play from Grace. Grace wasn't sorry that she didn't feel like helping her stepsister do her hair, pick out an outfit, do her makeup - all well smiling and talking about how wonderful it was for her. When had there ever been someone to do that for her? Certainly not her mother, who hadn't even noticed Grace's first date.  
  
"Grace, if you want to explain yourself, you know where I am," Grace's mother, Lillie, said. Grace could hear the disappointment in her mother's voice, but she couldn't face her mother just yet.  
  
Grace hadn't planned on missing Jessie's big date preparations, but she. she had just ended up staying late with Mr. Dmitri, or Augustus - her English teacher and director of the play both Grace and Jessie were in. Augustus was different - from her family, her friends, from everyone. He listened to Grace and helped her to see what was true in her heart. He was a great man.  
  
Grace smiled and leaned back against her bed. She closed her eyes and remembered a moment from just earlier that night. Augustus had been playing some folk records and Grace had been sitting across from him, listening to the music. He looked at her, Augustus with his wavy red hair and freckled knowledgeable face. He had looked inside her, it seemed. The song played in the background, and Grace just had this urge. It was so strong. she had just wanted to be in Augustus' arms and to be kissing him. Grace had sat across from her teacher with this unexpected urge, not knowing what to do. They had looked at each other for a long deep moment and Grace had almost felt that Augustus had felt the same. But the moment passed and Grace had been left with a continuous lingering in the back of her mind. And Grace knew. she was falling for him.  
  
Grace opened her eyes; she had been unconsciously pulling at her favorite seashell necklace. Her face was flushed by the feelings her thoughts had brought up. She knew she was falling for Augustus and in that brief moment when they sat there, staring into each other's eyes, she had thought he felt the same.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace wasn't on the best terms with her mother since what happened yesterday. Jessie was also giving her the cold shoulder, but that wasn't that unusual. Things had never been great between her and Jessie. Things would clear up though; her mother was so busy with her new radio job that she barely had time to give Grace those "Aren't you ready to apologize to Jessie and me yet?" looks.  
  
"Hi Grace."  
  
Grace turned from the opened fridge. "Oh, hi Eli."  
  
Eli, her other stepsibling. Eli, the ever so gorgeous Eli who had been Grace's first crush when they had been a few years younger and when their parents hadn't been dating. Eli was a golden god. He was the best looking guy Grace had ever seen. He was rebellious, funny and sweet all at once. Grace smiled at him now, in his dirty tee shirt and jeans and felt an unexpected rush of the old feelings she had for him bubble up inside her. She had thought she had buried those feelings a long time ago. Grace quickly drew up the memory of Augustus smiling at her as he looked inside her very soul, and concentrated on those feelings. There was no way she could be feeling anything for Eli when she had. Augustus.  
  
"Grace?"  
  
"Hmm?" Grace snapped out of a daze filled with Augustus flavored thoughts and realized Eli was standing there, watching her as she stood in the open fridge door like a moron. "Yeah?"  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm great." Grace smiled, a true smile, not the forced ones she gave her mother. Grace had something to smile about. Augustus. Augustus smiling at her, Augustus looking into her eyes, and maybe someday. Augustus kissing her. Eli said bye as he exited the kitchen, but this time Grace didn't even notice.  
  
* * * 


	2. Not just a kiss

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is What You Make of it  
  
  
  
Chapter two/ / Not Just a Kiss  
  
"Grace! What an unexpected surprise - you know there's no play practice today," Augustus smiled gently at her under the damp lights of the auditorium.  
  
"Oh, I know. I just felt I could get some good practice using the stage." Grace felt slightly dizzy. He was just such a great man. Not a boy, laughing and joking over obscene things, but a man who listened to folk music and just exhumed intelligence.  
  
"Want me to read the lines with you?" Augustus seemed hesitant, but sincere, like he really wanted to be here now with her. Grace couldn't believe her luck.  
  
"Would you? That would be great." Grace smiled and dropped her backpack on the floor and walked onto the stage, where Augustus stood. They picked out an act and scene and positioned themselves. They both really got into acting out the play. Grace was amazed by Augustus' acting talent and felt her own talent expanding and growing by just being here with him.  
  
Without conscious thought, they moved around the stage, letting their instincts take over as they sank deeper into their characters. And at the end of the first act they drew near each other as their characters talked about their love. Grace realized just how close they were, only inches apart. Augustus' strong hands grasped her shoulders tenderly.  
  
"You must not leave me here, alone. I love you," Grace said.  
  
"Your love is too strong. I am but a humble man and the power of your love scares me."  
  
"No, you must not say that. My love for you is strong, but your love for me is just as strong. or am I mistaken?" Grace felt tears swelling in her eyes as she felt her character's sadness.  
  
"Oh, I love you, I do." Augustus wiped away a tear making its way down Grace's cheek. His hands were so gentle.  
  
"Then stay with me. Oh, please, please say you will not go."  
  
"I won't go. I love you too much."  
  
They moved without realizing it and suddenly his arms were holding her and their lips with greeting each other with hungry ecstasy. And they kissed. Grace kissed him with passion she didn't know was possible and everything felt perfect. This was where she belonged. Grace couldn't tell how long the kiss went on, but then Augustus was drawing back, and the look on his face was so naked and exposed that Grace had to look away.  
  
"I'm sorry," Grace mumbled.  
  
Augustus shook his head, coming to his senses. "Non, Grace, no. It's not your fault. I. oh, boy. Let's just forget about this, okay? It. It could get me in a lot of trouble."  
  
Grace turned away and rushed down the stage steps. She picked up her backpack and turned back to her teacher, "Yeah, sure, Mr. Dmitri, it never happened."  
  
"Grace."  
  
Grace didn't turn around, just quickly exited the auditorium. 'I'm a fool! I'm an idiot!' Grace kept saying to herself as she began her walk home. Soon her little mantra was interrupted by the sound of a car trailing beside her. It was Augustus.  
  
"Grace, we should talk," Augustus called out to her.  
  
"I wouldn't want to get you in trouble," Grace snapped, but got in the car anyway.  
  
Augustus was silent as he drove the car to the secluded parking lot of an abandoned building. Grace would have laughed if she wasn't so confused and upset. this parking lot was a popular spot for teenagers to make out.  
  
"We were so wrapped up in the play that we acted without thinking-the scene does call for a kiss," Augustus said gently.  
  
"That wasn't just a kiss," Grace whispered, and wished she hadn't. Augustus was giving her an easy way out. They could blame the kiss on the play and what good actors they were, and then things could go back to being simple.  
  
Augustus put his face in his hands and sighed deeply, "It was wrong, Grace."  
  
"Grace turned towards him and waited until he was looking back at her, "It didn't feel wrong." They held each other's gaze for a long moment.  
  
"Grace, I can't," Augustus began, but Grace moved without pausing to think about what she was about to do and their lips met again. The same passion was there. The same intensity.  
  
Suddenly their arms were around each other and they were kissing and grabbing and holding. It was a fury of actions that Grace didn't want to stop. "Oh, Augustus," Grace whispered, and Augustus seemed to realize what he was doing. A look of shame crossed his freckled features and he gently pushed Grace away.  
  
Grace sighed and looked down at herself and realized her shirt had been unbuttoned in their heated embrace. Grace couldn't be sure which one of them had unbuttoned it. Grace looked up at Augustus. He too seemed to be just realizing that, and Grace watched his eyes take in her milky white skin, and the white bra, which Grace knew was slightly see-through. Grace didn't feel as naked and exposed as she thought she would have when a guy saw her like this. No, she felt beautiful and sexy and very much like a woman, and not a little girl - as her mother still seemed to think she was.  
  
"Grace," Augustus whispered and his hands moved towards her chest. Grace's body ached, wanting more of the kissing, grabbing and holding. The intense passion that made time seem to stop and made being close to him the only thing she wanted. But Augustus' hands only began buttoning up her shirt. Grace angrily swatted his hands away and finished buttoning the shirt.  
  
"Oh, Grace, can't you see? It's not right." Augustus pleaded. Grace looked away, out the car window and realized how dark the sky was getting, and wondered just how long they had been kissing.  
  
"I don't care! I don't care!" Grace said angrily, but ended by bursting into tears.  
  
Augustus pulled her into his arms and comforted her. Being so close to him, Grace felt her heart beating overtime, and snuck a peek up at Augustus' face. Yes, she could tell by the look on his face that he was feeling the same. Grace gave him a quick kiss before he could object and whispered, "Just hold me." And he did.  
  
Finally Augustus sighed into Grace's hair, "You should get home."  
  
Reluctantly, Grace agreed, "You know where it is, right?"  
  
"You want to drive you? Do you really think I should? I mean. is that a good idea, considering."  
  
Grace laughed, "Would you rather I walked in the dark, alone?"  
  
"No, no, but."  
  
"Don't worry, no one has to know. You're just my friendly teacher who helped me practice my lines for the play and then offered me a ride home. My friendly teacher who is an amazing kisser."  
  
Augustus laughed and gave her a quick butterfly kiss, "Okay, but let's leave out that last part." He started up the car and prepared to drive to Grace's.  
  
Grace put a hand on his forearm, "But. this thing between us - don't forget, ok? Don't let time diminish what we have. Don't let time put doubt and fear in your head. Because no matter how wrong this thing between us is technically, it is right, and you and I know that."  
  
Augustus thought for a moment. "I won't, Grace, but we have to be careful, no one can know."  
  
Grace smiled happily as he drove towards her house. Suddenly the whole world seemed perfect.  
  
* * * 


	3. I saw you with him

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
  
  
Chapter 3// I saw you with him  
  
  
  
Augustus pulled into Grace's driveway. He turned to her with a nervous look, "You better go."  
  
Grace laughed, "Augustus, chill." Saying that made her laugh harder.  
  
"We don't want to raise any suspicions."  
  
Grace shook her head and gave him a reassuring smile, "We won't. You'll be the good teacher and I'll be the good student. I might even bring you a nice shiny apple tomorrow." All kidding aside, Grace knew they had to be very careful about hiding their relationship. Although Grace couldn't be sure that making out in his car and one shared kiss in the school auditorium constituted a relationship, but she knew something was there. She could just feel it. And Augustus wouldn't risk losing his job unless he was feeling pretty good about what they had too.  
  
"Do you know how much I want to kiss you right now?" Augustus whispered, breaking the thoughtful silence of the car.  
  
"Me too." Grace smiled and her mind was telling her a quick kiss wouldn't be that risky, when there was a knock on the window. Grace jumped and Augustus let out a whoosh of breath. Grace opened the car door and got out. "Hi mom."  
  
Lily smiled at her and Grace turned back to Augustus, "Bye, Mr. Dmitri. Thanks again for the ride. I'll see you tomorrow at play practice." Grace began to close the door, but her mother pushed her way through.  
  
"Well, hi Mr. Dmitri. That was nice of you to give Grace a ride home. Is the play going good?"  
  
Grace couldn't watch as her mother and Augustus made small talk. She just hoped nothing on either of their faces gave anything away. Augustus was so right about being careful. If they had kissed and her mother had saw-well, she and Mr. Dmitri wouldn't be talking about the school bake sale right now. Oh, no, certainly not. Grace turned back towards the car and her eyes met Augustus' for a brief moment, but they both looked away, even that wasn't safe. Grace finally tugged at her mother's shirt, "Mom, I'm sure Mr. Dmitri has a bunch of stuff to do."  
  
Lily looked at Grace with slight confusion and annoyance, but bid Mr. Dmitri farewell. They both watched his car pull out and drive away. "He is a nice man."  
  
Grace shrugged.  
  
"I wonder if he is married?"  
  
"Why do ask that?" Grace forced her voice to sound normal.  
  
"Oh, well, maybe Judy-"  
  
"MOM! No! I don't think he's Judy's type, and he's my teacher! Besides he's too young for her." Grace couldn't believe this.  
  
"Yeah, you're right. Just how old is he, anyway?" Lily began to head up towards the house.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Oh, well, we're having chicken and rice for supper. Hmm, I better go check it."  
  
Grace stood in the driveway a bit longer after her mother hurried in the house. There was so much she didn't know about Augustus. How could she not know how old he was? Grace guessed it was somewhere in his late 20s/early 30s, but what if that was her just being hopeful? He couldn't be in his forties; no, Grace knew that for sure. But still it pained her that she didn't know this. And she didn't even know when the next time they could be alone together.  
  
Grace sighed and headed up the driveway. She looked up and noticed Eli standing in the doorway that led up to his garage apartment. Grace forced a smile and gave him a wave, but he didn't seem to notice and headed back into his apartment. Grace dropped her fake smile and sighed again. Time to go have dinner with her one big great happy family.  
  
* * *  
  
"Grace, did you get a pink and white tee shirt back in your wash? I can't find it and thought that maybe Lily put it in your pile by mistake."  
  
Grace shook her head at Jessie's question, "Nope. Maybe you should check Zoe's pile. Your sizes are closer." Grace knew that was a low blow and Jessie left in a visible huff. Grace didn't mind. She knew later she might regret saying that, but right now she just wanted to be left alone. Grace got up and closed her bedroom door. She went to her desk and pulled out a nice clean piece of paper. She had got the idea that she and Augustus could communicate by secret love letters. She'd casually drop one on his desk when leaving class, and he hand her one when they were alone for a millisecond at play rehearsal. It would be so romantic. And she bet he could write beautiful love letters.  
  
Grace shook her head free of all the extra day-to-day junk and concentrated only on Augustus and what they shared.  
  
Dearest Augustus,  
  
I can't begin to think of how to tell you what we shared today (yesterday by the time you get this letter) meant to me. You are an amazing man and when I was with you, I was an amazing woman. You and I have something special. Others may not think it right, but how could something that feels this good be wrong? I  
  
  
  
Once again someone was at her door. Maybe it was Jessie asking if she had seen her purple skirt this time. Or maybe Jessie had told on her and it was her mother ready to yell at her. Whoever it was, Grace didn't need this right now. She got up and opened her door. "Oh, Eli, hi."  
  
"Can I talk to you?" Eli looked nervous and somehow unsettled as if he wasn't sure he was doing the right thing.  
  
"Yeah," Grace said, and stepped back, "Uh, come in."  
  
"Thanks." Eli stepped in her room and shut the door behind him. He walked over to the far side of her room and stood by her desk. Grace hurried and picked up the letter she had been working on and slide it into a drawer, Eli didn't seem to notice. She pulled out the desk chair and asked if he wanted to sit down. "Uh, no. I, I just wanted to ask you something."  
  
"Ask away," Grace looked around her room nervously. That letter was a close call. But she had nothing else that would give her secret away, right? Grace surveyed her room just in case. Eli's question jerked her eyes back to him.  
  
"Are you dating with your teacher?"  
  
"What?" Grace choked out.  
  
"That teacher, Mr. Dmitri. I saw you with him."  
  
Suddenly Grace's whole world was crashing down. Eli had seen her and Augustus at the parking lot. He saw them kissing-he knew! And soon he would tell her mother, and everyone would huddle around her to protect her from big bad Mr. Dmitri.  
  
"When he dropped you off today, I looked out the window from my room and I saw the way you looked," Eli continued.  
  
Grace was confused. Did Eli see them kissing at the parking lot or not? "The way I looked?"  
  
"Yeah, well, you looked nervous and scared when you mother showed up. You kept looking at her and Mr. Dmitri talking, but you were careful not to look at him. I dunno, it just seemed like you were afraid your mother would find out something she shouldn't. You looked guilty."  
  
Grace laughed, "And so, from that you assumed I'm dating my teacher?" Her laughter came out in almost hysterical bursts of relief and she quickly cut it off. Eli had nothing but a few guilty looks-and those could have been about anything. Still, Grace didn't want to lie to Eli. Hopefully, he'd just not ask any more questions.  
  
"Yeah, that's what it looked like. I don't know, I guess I was mistaken." Eli looked confused.  
  
"Well, thanks for having this wonderful conversation with me, Eli. I sort of have homework to do, so, if you don't mind."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I'm leaving." Eli's brow was still furrowed and he hesitated at the door, "Grace?"  
  
"Yeah, Eli?"  
  
"I'm only looking out for you," Eli looked her directly in the eyes, and Grace found that she couldn't look away, "If there was something going on, would you tell me?"  
  
Grace took a deep breath; she didn't know what to say.  
  
"Yeah, well, I guess that's my answer," Eli said, as she stayed silent. "You can trust me, Grace. If you need to talk about it, you can come to me."  
  
Grace smiled, "Thanks Eli, I mean that."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Eli smiled at her, his first smile since he entered her room, "Goodnight, kiddo."  
  
"Kiddo?" Grace raised her eyebrows, "Um, not quite."  
  
"Yeah, you've really grown up- in all ways," Eli was looking at her appreciatively and suddenly Grace had a flash of Augustus looking at her in her bra earlier, that same look of admiration.  
  
"Okay, goodnight, Eli." Grace finally said.  
  
"Goodnight, Grace."  
  
* * * 


	4. I think he likes you

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Hey, thanks all for reading. And thanks for the reviews. I've always been scared to read my reviews in case people didn't like what I was putting out there. Hopefully, you'll also like what's going to be coming up. More Eli/Grace/Dmitri entanglement! So, on with the show.  
  
Chapter four// I think he likes you  
  
Thursday morning turned out to be one of those mornings where nothing goes right and everything seems to be getting on your nerves. Grace started the morning off bad by waking up late. Silly her, with all this stuff on her mind, she forgot to turn on the alarm on her clock. Jessie and Zoe arguing in the hallway finally woke her up. She looked at the clock and realized that she had only twenty minutes before her mother would drive them to school.  
  
So, she hurried and dressed, thankful for her habit of showering in the evenings. Then of course, she didn't have any matching socks and had to steal a pair from her mother's dresser. And after that, she couldn't get a knot out of her shoelaces, and had to give up and wear some old ugly tennis shoes from a few years ago. Of course by that time her mother and Zoe were already yelling up the stairs for her and she had to run out to meet the car. And of course, Zoe had claimed the front seat, so Grace had to sit next to Jessie, who was definitely mad at her. Then, later on that morning she realized she had forgotten her history book and the teacher called her unprepared and marked it in his grade book. Mr. Wiese was so unfair.  
  
Grace had planned to write the rest of Augustus' letter, but of course that didn't happen. So much for her idea of them secretly passing romantic love letters. By the time she got to her English class, which Augustus taught, Grace was feeling extremely lousy. She made herself not daydream about Augustus throughout the class (but it was so hard) and instead concentrated on what he was saying. She forced herself to think of him as Mr. Dmitri and that helped some. A few times their eyes met for brief moments and Grace felt a hundred times better when class was over. She was already thinking of ways she could be alone with him.  
  
So, after school, Grace put her plan into action. She grabbed some food from the vending machines and headed to the auditorium. They had a dress rehearsal at 4:30 today, and most people wouldn't show up till after 4, or so she hoped. Usually, the play people went home after school and did a little homework and ate an early supper. If there was someone who wanted to show up early for help with lines or something, Grace hoped they wouldn't come till at least a quarter till four. So, it was 3:20 now, and she could have Augustus to herself for 25 minutes if all went well.  
  
As soon as Grace entered the auditorium, she realized her plans had just been thrown in the trash. Jessie sat in the front row, of the seats and looked like she was doing homework. Grace's shoulders fell as she walked up the aisle, "Hi Jessie."  
  
Jessie turned and mumbled a greeting and Grace remembered Jessie was mad at her. Grace looked around; there was no sign of Mr. Dmitri, but he might be backstage -alone backstage. Maybe Grace could sneak a quick kiss. She began to head up the stage stairs, when Jessie called out to her.  
  
"Grace, are you mad at me?"  
  
Grace, turned, disappointed, but glad she and Jessie could clear the air, "No, I'm not mad at you. I'm sorry about last night. I was being a bitch."  
  
Jessie smiled, "Yeah, a little."  
  
"And I'm sorry I didn't help you get ready for your date with Tad. I got busy, and, well I'm just sorry."  
  
Jessie shrugged, "That's okay. It wasn't much of a date anyways. I don't think I like like him, you know?"  
  
Grace sat down in the auditorium seat next to Jessie, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm glad we cleared the air."  
  
"Me too. Will you help me rehearse some of my lines?"  
  
"Sure." Grace pulled out her script, although she practically knew every single line in the play by heart. "Which scene?" Jessie was silent and Grace looked up. She looked like she wanted to say something. "Jessie?"  
  
"Grace, is something going on with you and my brother?" Jessie finally asked.  
  
"Eli? You mean like--"  
  
"Like are you dating him?"  
  
"Oh, no, Jessie," Grace didn't know where Jessie got this idea from but when she first asked her question, Grace was sure she was going to ask 'Grace, is there something going on with you and Mr. Dmitri?' Thank god she didn't.  
  
"Oh, cause I think he likes you."  
  
Grace laughed, "What? Jessie, he's my stepbrother. That's like wrong."  
  
Jessie shrugged, "Well, you're not blood related. I don't think it's legally wrong."  
  
Grace smiled, "Well, I don't think Eli likes me like that. What gave you that idea anyways?"  
  
"Just the way he's been looking at you lately. I wasn't sure if you guys had something secret going on, so that's why I asked."  
  
"Nothing's going on between me and Eli, trust me, kiddo." Grace pulled out her vending machine goodies, "Want some chips?"  
  
Jessie nodded and took a handful. "Kiddo is Eli's word," Jessie said suddenly. She looked at Grace with questioning eyes.  
  
Grace shifted under the stare of Jessie's eyes. She remembered last night: Eli calling her kiddo and then looking at her with admiration. Was it possible he liked her? Jessie sure seemed to think so. But, still, Grace couldn't believe it.  
  
"Hey girls, you sure are early," Augustus' voice rang out in the aisle.  
  
They both turned and greeted him. Grace was glad for the distraction. She'd be even happier if Jessie wasn't there right now and she could just run into Augustus' arms and kiss him. Jessie turned away and dug in her backpack for her script. "Mr. Dmitri, I had a question about the last scene. I was hoping we could run through a few lines," Jessie said as she looked for her script. Grace and Augustus shared a secret smile as Jessie was looking away.  
  
"Did you want to get in costume first? It might help put you in character." Augustus suggested.  
  
"Really? Yeah, that's a good idea. I'll be right back." Jessie went off to backstage in search of her costume.  
  
Augustus walked over to where Grace stood. "What about you, pretty lady, do you need some help?" He whispered.  
  
Grace smiled up at him and they both quickly surveyed the room. Empty. They shared a quick small kiss. Grace sighed as they pulled away, "I just wish it didn't have to be like this."  
  
Augustus sighed with her, "Me too. So, what's this about you and Eli?"  
  
Grace laughed, "You heard that? Oh, boy, Jessie thinks her brother likes me, but that's totally not true, and it's like wrong or something. I mean, he's my stepbrother. Our parents are married. Besides, I have you."  
  
"Yeah, well, Grace, what we doing isn't exactly legal either. In fact if anyone found out about us, they could take my teaching rights away and possibly even put me in jail."  
  
"That would never happen! I wouldn't let it," Grace cried.  
  
"There's nothing you could do to stop it, if it came down to that. You're a minor, I'm a teacher, case closed. That's why we have to be extra careful. No one can know." Augustus looked deeply in her eyes, and Grace saw how much it hurt him to have to have their relationship be like this. Grace thought about mentioning that Eli kind of knew about them, but decided against it. Eli wouldn't rat on them, and he didn't have any proof, just a hunch.  
  
Jessie came out on stage, looking cute, but slightly uncomfortable in her big fluffy skirt. "I'm ready, Mr. Dmitri."  
  
Grace sat back down and watched them rehearse. She felt like crying. Why couldn't her life be easier? If Augustus had been younger, or she older, it wouldn't be a big deal. If they lived in the past, it wouldn't be a big deal either. Back then, 15 year old girls often married men who were like 40. It just wasn't a big deal. Also back then cousins were married, Grace thought, thinking of Eli. Was it possible what Jessie had been saying was true? And, why did she care so much when she had Augustus?  
  
* * * 


	5. You were Amazing

~A Once and Again series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter Five// You were amazing  
  
Grace was nervous. She had no reason to be nervous; she had been in plays before. But, a tangle of butterflies was slowly growing larger in her stomach as they counted down the minutes. She felt very much like she had before her very first play in junior high. Grace had thought she had gotten over stage fright, but obviously not. But, then again, she hadn't had a man like Augustus watching from the shadows. This play was Augustus' baby and Grace did not want to be the one to frig things up. 'Calm down' Grace told herself. She knew all her lines and movements. She should be fine. She would be fine.  
  
"Five minutes everybody!"  
  
Grace's eyes widened and she took a small sip of her water. Her throat felt parched, but she knew if she drank too much, she'd have to go to the bathroom by act three, and her schedule didn't allow for such luxuries. She had so many costume changes and hair and quick make-up touch ups that she was lucky to get a free second to herself to breathe.  
  
Jessie smiled at her across the room. Grace smiled an encouraging smile. Jessie was the one who should be nervous, not her. Jessie had never acted before, and yet she was laughing and chatting with Tad across the way. Grace was the one hunched up in her chair, rehearsing lines in her head. 'Stop it, you'll be fine. Augustus will love it.' Grace thought as the minutes ticked away.  
  
"Places people!"  
  
Grace took a quick glance in the mirror to make sure she still had her head on straight and hurried to the left wing of the stage.  
  
"And five, four, three--"  
  
Grace finished the count silently and then she strode out on the stage. There was a half second of panic before her line came to her and then the words flowed freely.  
  
* * *  
  
The play went pretty good, except for a few flubbed lines and minor incidents. Afterwards they huddle around backstage, proud of their performance. Everyone was in a fantastic mood, Grace included. When Augustus appeared, they all cheered.  
  
"Yes, yes, you have right to cheer yourselves. We put on a good performance tonight, and since we have three more shows it can only get better. Some of you need to remember your lines a bit better-I'm sure those people know who they are. Tad and Elaine, your entrance was a few lines too early. You enter on 'If not my father at the door, then who could it be?' Okay? Good. Christina, try not to run into the props. And Travis, I know you only have two lines, but please, no gum chewing. Otherwise, you all did fantastic. You did me proud out there."  
  
Another happy cheer rose from the cast. Augustus waited till they quieted down. "Just keep up the good work, maybe look over your scripts tonight, and lets make tomorrow performance even better. I'm sure your parents and fans out there are getting restless, so I bid you goodnight. Go home, get some sleep and I'll see you back here at 4:30 on the dot tomorrow night!"  
  
The small crowd dispersed as people went their separate ways. Grace looked over at Augustus with masked disappointment. She hadn't been able to get any alone time with him since their small kiss in the auditorium two days ago. And now he had a group of five people all wanting to talk with him. And the actor's parents would soon be coming in to meet the Mr. Dmitri who had worked their kids so hard for the past few weeks. Tonight wasn't her chance. And tomorrow, Saturday and Monday would all be the same, since they were play performance nights. After that the play would be done and surely they could sneak away someplace where they could be alone. But until then, Grace sighed.  
  
"Grace, ready to go?" Jessie asked.  
  
Grace nodded and followed her stepsister out through the crowd. Their parents were waiting, and Zoe. "You were great, both of you!" Lily cried as soon as she saw them. Grace smiled through their praise, but she wasn't really listening. She was thinking about Augustus. Why did it have to be so hard?  
  
"Where's Eli?" Jessie was asking. Grace turned her attention back to them. She hadn't even known Eli would come to the play. But, she supposed he had to, being that he was Jessie's brother-and your stepbrother, a little voice added.  
  
"Oh, he said he couldn't come tonight," Rick answered, "But he said he'd definitely show up another night."  
  
"Good, cause I want him to see the horrible poodle skirt they are making me wear!" Jessie cried and this launched a discussion about the costumes. Grace felt eyes on her and turned back towards the stage. Augustus had escaped his crowd briefly and his face poked out from behind the curtains. He gave Grace a wink and motioned for her to come to him.  
  
"Uh, I think I forgot something. I'll meet you out in the car," Grace said quickly to her family.  
  
"Ok, sweetie," Her mom called after her-Grace was already halfway up the stage steps.  
  
She got backstage, but didn't see Augustus, and felt a wave of disappointment come over her. One of the actors must have found him and dragged him away. But then a hand grabbed her from out of the dark. She was pulled into a small room. She guessed it was a closet but there was no light, so she couldn't be sure.  
  
"You were amazing," Her captor said.  
  
"Really?" Grace whispered and felt for Augustus. Her hands brushed against his solid form and they moved together. A small slow kiss got Grace's body warmed. "Is this safe? Could someone catch us?"  
  
"Someone could easily catch us."  
  
They kissed again. Longer and harder this time. "Then why are we risking it?" Grace asked.  
  
"Because I couldn't bare another day without a kiss from you." Augustus' words sent a nice chill down her spine.  
  
"What are you doing Sunday?" Grace blurted out between kisses.  
  
"Sunday?"  
  
"Yeah, we don't have a performance that night. I was thinking we could get together."  
  
"Get together?" Augustus' words came out mumbled as he said them as he kissed Grace's neck. Grace sighed with pleasure and held him closer.  
  
"Yeah, get together. We could have apple juice and cookies and make out on my mother's couch. Or we could go to your place?"  
  
"My place?"  
  
They kissed again, and when they broke, Grace stirred her brain to remember what she had been saying. "So, you want me to come over to your place on Sunday?"  
  
"Yeah, of course I want that. But, we can't let people know."  
  
"I won't tell anyone. I'll tell my mother I'm going to the library and then to a friend's or something. My house is so frantic that nobody will even notice I'm gone probably," Grace gave him one last kiss and stepped back, "I should get going or they'll send a search party for me."  
  
"Oh, alright. I live at 532 West Moreno Street. It's by--"  
  
Grace tugged at his hand, "I'll find it. Now, I'll leave here first and then you go." Grace opened the door a nudge and looked out. The coast was clear. "Until Sunday, my sweet," Grace whispered. She quickly made her exit.  
  
* * *  
  
"Grace, we were beginning to wonder where you took off to," Lily cried as she entered the nice warm van.  
  
"Sorry, there was too many people there, and I couldn't really look that well."  
  
"What where you looking for, dear? Was it important, cause we can wait till the crowd clears."  
  
"Mom, no-it was just this notebook, but it might be at home. It probably is at home, or in my locker. I don't need it." Grace sat back in her seat and Rick began the drive home. She noticed Jessie looking at her strangely. "What?"  
  
"Oh," Jessie smiled, "I just-your makeup is smeared."  
  
Grace's hand fluttered up to her face. Her stage makeup had still been on when she and Augustus had had their little meeting. And now, some of it was probably on Augustus' face. Grace hoped he had noticed before anyone else did. Oh, god, she hoped no one had saw. Oh, no, this could give them away! Grace forced a little laugh, "That's what I get for itching my face with the makeup still on."  
  
Jessie gave her a weird look but didn't question it.  
  
* * * 


	6. A mother can tell

~A Once and Again series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter Six// A mother can tell  
  
"I think Grace has a boyfriend," Lily said as she climbed into bed with Rick.  
  
"Hmm." Rick leaned in for a kiss and saw the look on Lily's face. She was in a talking mood. He came up with a different response, "What makes you think that?"  
  
"She's been distracted lately. She's here, but she's not."  
  
"That could be anything. She could be thinking about golf for all we know," Rick said.  
  
"No, a mother can tell. She's been thinking about a boy."  
  
"So, she's thinking about a boy. That doesn't mean she has a boyfriend. And if she did, would that be so bad?" Rick asked.  
  
Lily shrugged and began to turn off the light. Her hand paused next to the switch. "I just wish she'd tell me. We used to be so close. Now she has a boyfriend she doesn't want me to know about."  
  
"You don't know that. Besides she's been doing the play for the past few weeks, when would she have time to get a secret boyfriend?"  
  
"You're right, you're right." Lily turned off the bedside lamp. A moment later she flipped it back on. "Jessie said in the car Thursday night that Grace's makeup was smeared."  
  
"So?"  
  
"I looked-it was smeared. Like she had been kissing someone. She told Jessie that it was because she had been itching her face, but it wasn't that, I'm sure of it. She had kissed someone yesterday after the play."  
  
"Okay, so she maybe does have a boyfriend. What are you going to do about it?"  
  
Lily sighed, "Nothing. Nothing. I just wished she'd tell me. I bet he's in the play."  
  
"Who?" Rick's voice was heavy with sleep now.  
  
"Grace's boyfriend. That's how she was able to get a boyfriend when she was so busy with the play. He must be one of the cast. Oh, NO." Lily put a hand over her mouth.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I bet it's Tad."  
  
"Tad?"  
  
Lily grasped Rick's arm tightly, "Tad! The one who went out with Jessie. That's why Grace can't tell anyone. She's afraid Jessie will be mad."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Lily smiled, "It all makes perfect sense now. I just hope Jessie doesn't still have feelings for Tad. Things could get even worse between them."  
  
"Jessie doesn't have feelings for Tad," Rick said.  
  
"Did Jessie tell you that?"  
  
"No, fathers just know these things." Rick said seriously, but then he cracked a smile.  
  
"Oh, Rick!" Lily laughed and hit him with her pillow. Then she reached over and turned out the light for good.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace woke up Saturday morning feeling better than she had the whole last week. She and Augustus had finally figured a way to have some time alone together. She was going to go to Augustus' house on Sunday and they would have a whole day together. They wouldn't have to worry about anyone seeing them together. It would be pure bliss!  
  
But, that was tomorrow. Tonight they had another performance. Last night's performance had gone even better than Thursday's performance and Augustus had been very pleased with the cast. Grace hadn't been able to snag any alone time with him though, but she could live with it since they would have their Sunday together. Her father and Jessie's mom had come to last night's performance, but Eli hadn't. Jessie had been disappointed. And (ok) Grace admitted to herself that she had been a bit disappointed. But there was still two more nights for him to come. Grace just hoped she acted as good in the final two shows as she had done in the past two shows.  
  
Grace laid in bed for a while, just enjoying doing nothing but thinking. Finally as the clock turned on ten thirty she pulled herself out of bed. She made her way downstairs, where the smell of bacon was drifting from the kitchen. She expected to see her mother making a late breakfast for everyone, but it was Eli's back she saw at the stove. She watched him for a while, as he turned over the bacon in the pan. He put the bacon on a plate, alongside some eggs and turned off the burner. He turned and saw her. "Hi."  
  
"Hey." Grace said, and she got some orange juice out of the fridge. She poured herself a glass and joined Eli at the table. She picked up the paper that was lying in the middle of the table.  
  
Good morning sleepy heads! Rick and I are taking Jessie over to Karen's for the day and then we're going shopping with Zoe. We'll be back in the afternoon. See you later! ~Lily  
  
She showed Eli the note. He nodded, "Yeah, I read it. Which is why I made breakfast for myself this morning."  
  
"You seemed to know what you were doing over there. I didn't know you could cook."  
  
Eli shrugged, "Eggs, bacon and toast isn't exactly rocket science." He took a bite of his food and then looked up at Grace, "Did you want me to make you some?"  
  
Grace shook her head, "I'm not hungry."  
  
"Oh, okay." Another pause as Eli ate some more of his food. "What are you going to do today?"  
  
"Uh, nothing, I guess. I have the play tonight, but I don't have to be there till six. Are you coming to the play tonight?" Grace hated how her voice came out all needy. "I mean, I was just wondering. You don't have to come tonight, there's another performance Monday night. Or you don't have to come at all. It really doesn't matter. But Jessie would be disappointed if you didn't come."  
  
"Grace, I'm coming to the play," Eli assured her.  
  
"Tonight?"  
  
"Yeah, tonight." Eli smiled a slightly amused smile.  
  
Grace smiled back at him and finished her orange juice. "So, uh, what are you doing today?"  
  
Their eyes met. Eli smiled, "Nothing until the play tonight."  
  
Grace busied herself putting her glass away. She wanted to think of something she could do with Eli. It had been so long since they had hung out. She couldn't think of anything. Grace glanced over at Eli, he was still eating. Grace sighed and racked her brain. What could they do? Would Eli even want to do something with her? Grace hadn't come up with an idea yet, so she kept busy by putting away the dishes Eli had used to make his breakfast. Why couldn't she think of something they could do together? Well, she could think of things, but they were dumb, like watching TV. Not very exciting.  
  
"You don't have to do that." Eli was standing right behind her, his breath on her hair. Grace felt her heart pause and then began to jump madly. She could smell the cologne he was wearing. It smelled so nice, heavy but light, musky but sweet. Perfect.  
  
Eli's hands fell on her shoulders and he moved closer. Grace felt like her body was betraying her. How could it react this way to Eli when she was supposedly in love with Augustus?  
  
"Grace," Eli whispered in her ear and his lips were so close. Her body heat seemed to have tripled. His hands slid down her shoulders and down her arms until they reached her waist. So warm and gentle. Grace wanted to turn around and face him, but at the same time she was afraid it would break the spell. Then, there was Augustus. Grace didn't want to betray him, but this felt so right.  
  
Eli's lips moved down from near her ear and softly kissed her neck. Grace stopped trying to fight her feelings. This felt right. She'd worry about the repercussions later. Right now all she wanted to do was kiss Eli. She began to turn around in his arms, when a door opened. Immediately they drew apart.  
  
"Oh, hi Grace, and Eli! Brrr, boy it's cold out there. Is Lily here?" Judy came in the kitchen. Eli had walked all the way by the table and was clearing his plates from it.  
  
"Uh, no. She went shopping with Rick and Zoe." Grace said, surprised at how calm her voice was. Who would imagine that just seconds ago she had been about to kiss her stepbrother?  
  
"Oh, well, I was just going to drop off some papers anyway. Grace, you were amazing in the play last night. Jessie was too." Judy opened her bag and pulled out some papers and put them on the table.  
  
"I didn't even know you went last night. I didn't see you." Grace said.  
  
"Oh, yeah, I went with a friend of mine. We sat more towards the back." Judy smiled and Grace knew.  
  
"You went with Sam?"  
  
"Yeah, with Sam," Judy smiled, "Anyway, I have to get back to the bookstore. Make sure your mom sees the papers, okay sweetie?"  
  
"Of course," Grace said.  
  
"Bye Eli, nice to see you again." Judy waved at Eli who had backed away into the furthest corner of the kitchen. "Bye Grace."  
  
"Bye." Grace and Eli said together. Grace watched her go. Finally, after the front door clicked shut, Grace managed to turn towards Eli. But he wasn't there. He must have slipped into the garage. Grace sighed and tried to get a hold of her thoughts. How did a morning where she woke up feeling great get so complicated?  
  
* * * 


	7. Don't make things complicated

~A Once and Again series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
****Thanks again for the reviews! It makes me happy that my story makes you happy, or at least interested. Anyway, expect lots more Eli/Grace/Dmitri entanglement. Poor girl two great guys, whatever shall she do? Anyways, thanks for reading! ****  
  
Chapter Seven// Don't make things complicated  
  
Grace sat in the kitchen for twenty minutes after the incident happened. Eli had almost kissed her! And, the bad thing was she had almost kissed him back. If Judy hadn't come in and interrupted them-well, Grace didn't know how things would have went. The whole time she was close to Eli, she had been wondering how her body could betray her like this while she was supposedly in love with Augustus. Now, here she was, still thinking and wondering. Things had felt right with Eli, but she still had strong feelings for Augustus.  
  
The door to the garage opened and Eli was standing there. There was no facial expression on his face as he said, "We should talk."  
  
Grace followed him into his small garage apartment. They didn't speak. He sat on his bed and she sat in a chair next to it. They both seemed to be waiting for the other to speak.  
  
Eli was the one who broke the silence, "Are you sleeping with that teacher?"  
  
"What? That is none of your business." This wasn't what Grace expected.  
  
Eli sat there, stone-faced.  
  
"Eli, I, I'm seeing him, yeah. I think I might love him. Things are good between us." Grace tried to explain.  
  
"Really? Grace, you can't even date this jerk in public! You can't tell any one about your relationship with him because it's wrong! It's illegal. How can things be good between you?" Eli asked angrily.  
  
"So, what? A few more years and it won't matter. He's special to me." Grace found herself becoming angry too. How could Eli get all up in her business like this? "Why does it matter to you anyway?"  
  
"I care about you. I don't want you to get hurt. And what about what happened in the kitchen? How does that fit into your perfect relationship with Mr. Teacher guy?"  
  
"Nothing happened in the kitchen! Nothing!" Grace cried, although it was techniqully true, she knew she didn't believe it in her heart.  
  
"Grace, we almost kissed." Eli was glaring at her.  
  
"So, what? I goofed up! It doesn't matter, because you know what?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Me and you couldn't be a couple in public either! We're stepbrother/ stepsister! We couldn't tell our parents or anyone," Grace said.  
  
Eli stood up from the bed and stared down at her in the chair. "I think they would understand. Better than you dating some forty year old teacher!"  
  
"No, Eli, they wouldn't! And I don't care! I like-I love Augustus, and what almost happened between us doesn't matter! It doesn't matter!" Grace stood up now too, and they glared at each other.  
  
"I don't think you should be seeing this guy," Eli said.  
  
"Don't tell me what to do! You're not my mother. You're not my father. You're not my brother! You're not even related to me by blood!" Grace yelled at him.  
  
"That's what I've been trying to say," Eli grabbed her and he pushed his lips against hers in a quick and almost angry kiss. Grace pulled away and let out a growl.  
  
"Don't make things complicated!" Grace yelled at him. She kicked his bed and the air seemed to go out of her. She fell down on the bed with a sigh.  
  
Eli moved to kiss her again and she pushed him away, "No, Eli. I can't! I can't. I'm with Augustus now."  
  
"But you have feelings for me too?" Eli seemed to have calmed down. He sat down next to her.  
  
Grace sat up, "Yes, no--- I don't know. It's too complicated! I guess I do have some feelings for you, but I can't be having these feelings. Someone has to be on the back burner."  
  
"So, I'm the back burner guy?" Eli asked.  
  
"Yeah, right now, you are. What Augustus and I have right now is wonderful. I don't want to screw that up. There seems to be something between you and me, but right now I just can't explore it." Grace said gently.  
  
Eli nodded and shrugged; he gave Grace a sly grin, "How about a kiss for the road?"  
  
Grace laughed and shook her head no.  
  
"Can't blame a guy for trying," Eli joked, but the smile had left his face. He suddenly looked sad and Grace didn't know how to deal with that.  
  
"So, you're coming to the play tonight?" She asked.  
  
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."  
  
Grace smiled and stood up, "Well, I'll see you then."  
  
"Don't you want to hang out? I thought you didn't have anything to do today?"  
  
"Oh, I just remembered I have some homework to do. With the play and all, it's been adding up. I should really go do it," Grace hated herself for lying.  
  
"Ok." Eli said, and Grace knew he knew she was lying.  
  
"Bye, Eli."  
  
"Bye, Grace."  
  
* * * 


	8. Poor tomato

~A Once and Again series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter 8// Poor Tomato  
  
"Grace."  
  
Grace smiled at the sound of her voice on his soft sweet lips. She turned and their eyes caught. He had such nice eyes. A gentle forest green with hazel specks peered out from under very light, almost skin color eyelashes. They were so nice.  
  
"I thought you did your best yet tonight. I was really impressed."  
  
Grace moved a step closer. Oh, god, how she just wanted one little kiss. Just a simple brush of his lips against hers. The thought of it sent shivers up her back. One little bitty kiss, no one would see. But she read the warning in Augustus' eyes and glanced around. Opps, they weren't as alone as she had thought. Other actors and their families milled around the backstage area. No one was close enough to hear them though.  
  
"I never got a chance to ask you-- Did anyone see the makeup on you Thursday night after we kissed?" Grace asked, remembering how her heavy stage makeup had been smeared after they had kissed in the closet after last night's show. Too bad there was too many people around this night for them to sneak away to that closet.  
  
Augustus laughed, "No, thankfully. I passed by a mirror before I ran into anyone and wiped it off. Now I understand why kissing scenes are very light in the plays. Anything heavy than a simple brush of the lips and the girl's makeup would be all on the guy."  
  
While he was speaking about kissing and lips, Grace found herself staring at his and wishing it didn't have to be this difficult and then she remembered that it didn't have to be, not always. Tomorrow she and Augustus had their first date. If you could call it a date when they weren't able to go any where but his house.  
  
"Hey Mr. Dmitri!" A voice called from across the backstage area and Augustus waved at Christina and her family. Grace knew her time with Augustus was limited.  
  
"So, I was thinking noon." She blurted out.  
  
"Noon?"  
  
"Yeah, you know. For tomorrow, when I come to your house. That way, we'd have the whole day together." Grace said quickly, keeping one eye out for Christina's progress. She had stopped to talk with Tad, but Grace knew she was on her way to talk with Augustus.  
  
"Uh, noon isn't good for me." Augustus said quietly.  
  
"It's not?" Grace asked, annoyed at how surprised her words came out sounding. Augustus was an adult; it was not surprising for him to have a life besides school. She should know that.  
  
"I.. well, four would be better."  
  
"Four? That's later than I thought-" Grace cut her words off as Christina and her folks finally appeared.  
  
"Is that okay?" Augustus asked, still looking at her.  
  
"Yeah, that's fine. Bye, Mr. Dmitri." Grace smiled at Christina and left the group that now surrounded Augustus. She made her way to the front of the stage, and saw Jessie talking to someone. Grace walked closer and saw it was Eli Jessie was talking to. He had come! Grace had thought he would, since he swore he was coming, but still she had been scared that he wouldn't show after what happened between them that morning.  
  
"Oh, hi Grace!" Jessie said as she joined them, "Eli finally dragged his lazy butt to the show."  
  
Eli smiled at her and there was a pause as they both just stared at the other one for a few moments before he spoke. "Yeah, I was very impressed. You both were great up there. I didn't realize you were such a great actress, Grace. Or that you had a very nice singing voice. Of course I knew about Jessie's voice, because she has never missed an opportunity to sing for people her whole life. She loves to show off," Eli paused as Jessie slugged him in the shoulder, "I'm kidding. But, yeah, you, Grace, that was a surprise. Who knew you had these talents hidden in you?"  
  
Grace shrugged humbly, but a grin spread across her face, "Thanks."  
  
"Hey Jessie! Where you still coming with me or-" Katie joined them.  
  
"Yes, I'm still coming with you," Jessie smiled at her friend, "I'm going to spend the night at Katie's." Jessie gave Eli and Grace a knowing look, "You two have fun without me!"  
  
Eli and Grace watched the two girls leave together. Grace turned to Eli, "What did she mean by that?"  
  
Eli sighed, "I think you know what she meant, Grace."  
  
Grace looked away and then back at Eli questioningly, "Ok, but where did she get the idea that we're together?"  
  
"Not from me," Eli said defensively.  
  
"I know that!" Grace snapped at him.  
  
"You've made it perfectly clear that I have no chance in hell with you as long as he's in the picture," Eli said under his breath.  
  
Grace frowned at him and looked around at the semi-crowded auditorium. "This is not the place, Eli."  
  
"I know that, Grace."  
  
They stared angrily at each other for a while. Finally, Grace gave in and looked away. "So, are you giving me a ride home?"  
  
"Your mother told me I should."  
  
"Don't do anything you don't want to do, Eli. Maybe, I'll just have to find a ride home with someone else. Mr. Dmitri has a really nice car." Grace said smugly and looked towards the stage where Augustus stood with Tad.  
  
"No, I'm going to give you a ride home," Eli insisted. He looked in the direction Grace was looking. "That's him? Mr. Dmitri?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"But he's nothing special! He's old and has red hair and freckles," Eli laughed.  
  
Grace turned and gave Eli such a mean look that his laughter broke off immediately. "You just shut up, Eli." Grace looked at Augustus once more. "Let's go home."  
  
"Fine."  
  
* * *  
  
They drove in silence. While, silence except for the radio, but Grace doubted either of them was listening to it. Grace was upset by Eli's words and also by Augustus not wanting her to come to his house until four. Four pm! That was halfway through the day! And on Sunday nights her mother gave her a curfew of 11pm. Grace had wanted to get to Augustus' house early, so they could have an eternity together. But, Augustus hadn't wanted the same. What possible reason could he have for not wanting her to be there until four?  
  
"Grace."  
  
Grace realized the radio had been turned off and Eli was speaking to her. She looked around and saw that the car was parked in what looked like the saw abandoned parking lot she had kissed Augustus in his car only days before.  
  
"Grace, we need to talk."  
  
"We can talk at home," Grace said coldly. Being here in this make out spot with Eli was just too weird. Eli must know what kids did here, and still he had driven her here to 'talk'.  
  
"Grace, just talk to me," Eli pleaded.  
  
Grace turned to him, "I thought we talked it all out earlier today."  
  
"It just doesn't feel right."  
  
"What doesn't feel right?" Grace asked.  
  
Eli's eyes stared down into hers. He had nice eyes too, a deep chocolate brown. Not as interesting as Augustus' eyes, but still, nice. Eli leaned in closer. His hand landed on hers. "Grace, it just doesn't feel right not to do this.."  
  
Grace knew in that half second before he advanced on her what was to come. She could have turned away, but her eyes felt caught in his and she let it happen. Eli kissed her. It was their first real kiss -- if you didn't count the kiss Eli had given her earlier. That kiss had been more of him just hitting his lips against hers in anger, but this kiss was nice. It was soft and slow and Grace felt like she was sinking. She felt his hands on her, but it seemed so far away. She thought of Augustus, but those thoughts were dim and shadowed. All that mattered in that moment was the feel of his lips sliding against hers. Before she knew it, she was kissing him back.  
  
The faraway sound of a semi honking on the highway drew her back to reality. She realized fully what she was doing and pulled away from Eli. Eli reached for her again, but saw the expression on her face. "No, Eli."  
  
Eli cursed and his hand hit the steering wheel, letting out a long beep of the horn. "Why not, Grace? Why not?"  
  
"I already explained it to you! Over and over! I am with AUGUSTUS now!" Grace realized she was screaming at him and calmed down, "I'm sorry, Eli. Kissing you was a mistake."  
  
"You did kiss me! You kissed me back, Grace. And yet you say you're in love with your prince charming, Mr. Teacher guy! What am I supposed to make out of that? Huh?" Eli looked at her and realized she was crying. "Grace, I'm sorry. Forget it."  
  
"No, what you said is true." Grace wiped her eyes and let out a forced laugh, "I guess I'm human after all. I make mistakes too. I did kiss you back, but I shouldn't have! I just couldn't seem to stop myself."  
  
They were silent a few moments. Suddenly Eli said, "I wish you had never met Mr. Dmitri."  
  
"But I did, and I'm falling in love with him, and yet I'm here, kissing you! Eli, we can't do this anymore! Remember how I said you were on the back burner?" Grace turned to him. He nodded. "So, let's say that you're tomato soup and Augustus is chicken noodle."  
  
"What?" Eli interrupted.  
  
"Just let me explain this," Grace continued, "I like chicken noodle, a lot. But I also liked tomato, you know?"  
  
Eli nodded, smiling a bit.  
  
"But, it wouldn't be right to chicken noodle if I was sampling the tomato when I was with chicken noodle. So, I have to put the lid on the tomato and keep it on the back burner, so I won't get tempted. I have to be to concentrate only on chicken noodle, you see?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess. But don't most stoves have four burners? Two front and two back? And those ones in restaurants have like eight burners." Eli smiled at her.  
  
Grace sighed, "I had a good analogy going there. Let's just pretend the stoves only have two burners."  
  
"Are their other soups? Like chicken dumpling and split pea waiting to go on your two burner stove?" Eli joked.  
  
Grace smiled, "Most likely there is. Although, I've never liked split pea very much."  
  
"But, so, you do like the tomato?" Eli asked. He turned and looked into her eyes.  
  
Grace held his gaze, "Yeah, I liked the tomato, very much. But I have to be fair to chicken noodle, so--"  
  
Eli sighed, "I know, I know. Tomato gets the lid and the back burner. Poor tomato."  
  
* * * 


	9. None of your business

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter 9// None of your business  
  
"So, Grace, what are you doing today?"  
  
Grace tensed. It was a simple question, but she had to concentrate on the answer she gave to her mother. "Oh, I don't know. I was thinking I'd go to the library later and catch up on some homework."  
  
"On a Sunday?" Lily asked as she went about making breakfast. "That doesn't sound like much fun."  
  
Since her mother's back was to her, Grace allowed herself a small smile, "No, but it's necessary."  
  
"Oh, so, did you want to take the car? I can leave the keys with you. Rick is taking me to that new restaurant that just opened. And we're going to that museum that has the star thing." Lily smiled, thinking of it.  
  
"The Barium planetarium?" Grace asked.  
  
"Uh, yeah, that place," Lily said distracted as she began setting the food onto plates. "Call your sisters down."  
  
'My sisters?' Grace thought to herself. She only had one sister and Jessie, her stepsister. But, whatever. "Zoe! Jessie!" Grace screamed from her chair at the table.  
  
Lily gave her an exasperated look. "I could have done that."  
  
The sound of feet on the stairs entered the kitchen. Grace shrugged, "It worked."  
  
"Oh, food!" Zoe said in delight, as if she hadn't been munching on cookies a half an hour ago. Grace didn't know where her little sister put all the food she ate. She was still as skinny as ever. Lily handed Zoe a plate and she sat down at the table.  
  
"Just a little," Jessie told Lily. "I'm not all that hungry." Lily put a good size amount on Jessie's plate anyways.  
  
"Grace?" Lily asked from the stove. "You going to eat?"  
  
Grace looked at Zoe piling her food into her tiny mouth. Some girls couldn't eat whatever they wanted like Zoe. Grace looked across the table at skinny Jessie eating small bites. Maybe it was time for her to go on a diet. She stood up. "Uh, mom, I actually already ate," Grace lied.  
  
Lily turned in surprise, "Oh, I didn't realize."  
  
"Just a bagel," Grace shrugged, "But I'm not hungry anymore."  
  
"Oh, okay."  
  
Grace left the kitchen and headed up to her room. She wanted to lie on her bed and think about tonight some more. Augustus had told her he wanted her to come at four. It was only 10:30 now, so Grace knew she had a good amount of time left, but she was too excited to do anything but think of what was to come.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace turned on her bed and looked at the clock again, 3:22pm. She kept checking it, hoping the somehow the numbers would have magically changed to 3:50. At 3:50, Grace decided she'd leave. She had looked up his house on the map in the telephone book and it was only a five-minute drive away.  
  
Grace jumped off her bed and began to pace. She sighed and stopped herself in front of the mirror, checking over her outfit again. Dark blue sweater and a gray skirt. Simple, pretty and nice with a touch of sophistication. Her hair was pulled back into a braid. She never wore much makeup, and so had gone with only a touch of mascara and lip-gloss. She thought she looked good, but she couldn't help feeling nervous.  
  
There was a knock at her door and Grace jumped. "Yes?"  
  
Lily opened the door. Her mother was wearing an outfit that was oddly similar to hers. Gray sweater and black skirt. "Rick and I are leaving now. I just wanted to give you the keys.." She looked Grace over, "Is that what you're wearing to the library?"  
  
Grace shrugged, her tongue felt tied into knots. "Yeah, why?"  
  
Lily looked at her daughter for a long while. "Honey, is there something you want to tell me?"  
  
"Like what?" Grace managed.  
  
"If you have a boyfriend, you can tell me. I'll understand, honey. I won't tell anyone you don't want me to tell about it," Lily said.  
  
Grace's eyes widened, "I don't have a boyfriend."  
  
"Grace, this is your mother, I know the signs," Lily came closer and put a arm around Grace, "I want you to feel you can tell me about it no matter who he is."  
  
Grace stood there, not sure what to say. Could her mother know about her and Augustus? Was that possible? Had Eli gone to her mother and told her?  
  
"I know you don't want to hurt Jessie, but I think she'll understand," Lily continued. Grace was really confused now. "Grace, are you dating Tad?"  
  
"What?" Grace laughed in relief, "No, mother, I'm not dating Tad!"  
  
"Oh," Lily said in surprise. She thought a moment and said again, "Oh."  
  
"Lily!" Rick called up the stairs.  
  
Grace smiled at her mother, "Have fun."  
  
Lily nodded, but seemed about to say something. Rick called again and Lily sighed and Moved towards the door. She turned back to Grace, "You can talk to me, honey, remember that. Okay?"  
  
"Okay, mom," Grace had no intention of ever mentioning Augustus' name to her mother.  
  
"Bye, sweetie." Lily handed her the car keys.  
  
"Bye, mom." Grace watched her mother leave her room and closed the door behind her. She looked at the clock and was delighted, 3:45. She went about putting the car keys in her purse and checking to make sure everything was in order. Everything was good. She looked at the clock again, 3:47. Eh, close enough, Grace smiled to herself, she couldn't stay in her room a minute longer.  
  
She made her way to the kitchen without running into anyone, but then Eli walked in. He looked her over in the same way her mother had done.  
  
"Got a date?" Eli asked. Grace just shrugged.  
  
"Grace, just remember you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. He's an adult and he might be expecting more from you," Eli said, unable to look directly at her. Grace just shrugged. She pulled her coat off the coat rack.  
  
"Grace, do you really like him as much as you think you do?"  
  
Grace turned, ready to answer this one with words when she saw Jessie standing behind Eli.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Jessie asked in confusion, "Who does Grace like?"  
  
Grace pulled her coat on and looked at her stepsister, "Just forget it."  
  
Jessie's eyes went from Grace to Eli to Grace, "But, I thought you two were.."  
  
"You were wrong," Eli snapped at her.  
  
Jessie cringed under Eli's harsh words. "Sorry, I just thought.."  
  
"I'm leaving," Grace said.  
  
Eli looked at her and then at Jessie and he strode out of the room and back into his garage apartment.  
  
"Grace, what happened? Who's this other guy?" Jessie demanded, angry at seeing her brother hurt.  
  
"None of your business," Grace turned to leave.  
  
"You can't treat my brother like this." Jessie said to her back.  
  
Grace stopped and looked over her shoulder, "Jessie, you don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"I know enough," Jessie insisted.  
  
Grace sighed and her eyes caught the clock on the microwave, 3:52. "Bye, Jessie."  
  
Jessie didn't respond. Grace could sense the girl's anger at her, but she had a date to make. She gave Jessie one last glance and left the house. It was time to see her Augustus. She would deal with Jessie later.  
  
* * * 


	10. I'm interesting, great

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Ok, chapter nine was kinda boring, but it was necessary to get to this point.. chapter 10! Finally it's time for their date! Okay, thanks for the reviews, (, and on to the show!  
  
Chapter 10// I'm interesting, great  
  
Grace knocked lightly on the sliding glass doors. She had never been to Augustus' place before, but she thought it would be better if she entered from the back door instead of the front. Grace waited, listening for Augustus, nothing. She knocked again, louder. His car had been in the driveway, so Grace knew he must be home.  
  
Augustus' face appeared at the doors. He smiled at her. She smiled back. He slid the doors open, "Grace!"  
  
"I thought it would be better if I came in the backdoor, just in case." Grace explained and stepped past him, into the house. "Brr, it's cold out there!"  
  
"Oh, were you waiting long?" Augustus asked and he followed her into his kitchen.  
  
"No, no." Grace walked around the kitchen and turned back to him, "I like your place."  
  
"Yeah, it's nice," Augustus replied. The two stared at each other. Augustus looked nice in casual jeans and a long sleeved shirt. Very much unlike the Mr. Dmitri she saw at school. Grace unzipped her coat and Augustus took it from her. He placed it on the kitchen table.  
  
Grace didn't know why they were being so polite with each other. They had had their tongues down each other's throats and yet here they were, making small talk. Someone had to make the first move. "So, can I see the rest of your house?" Grace finally asked.  
  
"This is basically it," Augustus gestured at the kitchen and living room.  
  
"Oh," Grace looked around. She gave Augustus a shy smile, "But what about your bedroom?"  
  
Augustus took a deep breath and stared back at her. Finally he gave her a tiny smile, "Grace."  
  
"Yeah?" Grace moved closer to him.  
  
Augustus reached for her and held her in his arms. They shared a small feather soft kiss. He stared down into her eyes afterwards. "I don't think we should go into the bedroom," He said.  
  
"Why not?" Grace asked in surprise.  
  
Augustus stepped away from her and walked over to the fridge. "Did you want something to drink?"  
  
Grace watched him. "No, I don't."  
  
"Something to eat?" Augustus looked through his fridge.  
  
Grace stared at his back in frustration. Why did he change the subject? Didn't he want to be with her? Grace opened her mouth to ask these questions, but instead a different question came out, "Why didn't you want me to come until four today?"  
  
Augustus' back straightened up and he shut the fridge. Without turning around he said, "Is it important?"  
  
Grace's mouth opened and shut again. She turned her back to his back and walked into the living room. She began looking at the books on his bookshelf. She heard him walk in and stand next to her, but she didn't look at him.  
  
"Grace," Augustus put his hand on her shoulder. Grace shrugged it off and walked further away. "Do you want me to tell you? Even if you won't like the answer?"  
  
Grace looked at him, "Of course I want you to tell me, especially if I won't like the answer." Images of him and other women were flashing in her mind. How would she know if he had a girlfriend or not? She had never asked, but she had thought she didn't have to ask. Augustus had kissed her, and by doing so, was putting his career in jeopardy. But maybe she was just a fun little toy for him. Something Augustus could keep in his pocket and know he could play with whenever he wanted. Even while he had other toys too. Other women in his life. More mature, more beautiful, more experienced women. No wonder he hadn't wanted to go to the bedroom with her.  
  
"You're crying," Augustus said, moving closer to her. Grace wiped her eyes.  
  
"Just tell me."  
  
"I had another date, earlier today," Augustus said and Grace couldn't believe it. It was true! More tears flowed down her cheeks and she made her way to the kitchen, for her coat. "No, wait, Grace!" Augustus grabbed her arms and she stared accusingly up at his face.  
  
"How could you?"  
  
Augustus sighed, "Just let me tell you everything before you walk out on me. Just give me that."  
  
Grace said nothing, but waited for him to go on.  
  
"My friend set me up on a double date with him and his girlfriend and her friend. I had to go, Grace." He waited for her to yell at him again, but she stayed silent. "I thought of you the whole time. She was nothing compared to you. You are so interesting."  
  
"I'm interesting, great!" Grace mumbled.  
  
"Yes, you are." Augustus looked down into her eyes, "Everything you do amazes me and keeps me wanting to see more, to know more. Every gesture you make, every smile on your face. I love to watch you walk into a room. I've noticed you for a long while, Grace. Even before you got to my class, I saw you in the halls, and you were so young and so old at the same time. You interested me. You were so beautiful and you didn't even know it. So confident and yet insecure at the same time. When you got to my class, I was so nervous. I didn't know if I could live up to be a good teacher in your book."  
  
"You were an amazing teacher," Grace blurted out.  
  
Augustus smiled at her and continued, "What you had to say in class always interested me. I always knew you would have the right answers, even if they differed from what I thought. You didn't just give me textbook answers; you expanded on them and added to them with new ideas that were amazing. And then you joined the play and I saw that you had amazing talent there too. And a beautiful singing voice. It seemed every day I learned something new about you and I was never disappointed by what I found out. And I knew I was in too deep. I knew I cared too much. I was falling in love with you a little more each day."  
  
Grace let out a little whoosh of air.  
  
"Yes, the first time I saw you I knew there was something special there. And we worked closer doing the play and at times I had to restrain myself from smelling your hair or stroking your cheek. When we talked and you smiled at what I said, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe this amazing girl was smiling for me. And when you came in that day after school to practice I knew that I was about to burst. I had to kiss you, touch you or I'd go mad. I knew as soon as you walked into auditorium that I would make a move on you. But I couldn't make myself send you away. I couldn't make my lips form an excuse for me to leave. I agreed to help you practice and I knew then what I was starting. I was worried that you would reject me. But, I figured even just one sweet kiss from you would be enough. And when we did kiss, oh Grace, it was everything I thought it would be and more."  
  
Augustus' eyes were filling with tears now, but Grace was frozen in place by his words. He continued speaking, "And when I drove you to the parking lot I knew I had to say goodbye. I knew that I felt too much for you. I was scared of getting you in trouble and scared you didn't feel the same about me. I didn't think anyone could ever love someone as much as I loved you. So, I put up a wall and tried to push you away. And you did the most amazing thing yet: you didn't let me push you away. You kissed me again and I was in heaven, but so scared. I was scared you'd see just how much I loved you and you wouldn't feel the same. You were so young and beautiful, it didn't feel right to let you be with a guy like me, no matter how much I cared about you. But you made me stay, you didn't let me put the wall back up around me. I held you as you cried and I cried too, but I didn't let you see. You warned me not to let time diminish what we had shared and put doubt in my head, and I knew I wouldn't. I just loved you too much."  
  
Grace was crying now too, and she moved into his arms. That exposed look was back on his face. The same look she had seen after they had kissed the first time. Now, she understood. He had just let out his whole heart to her and Grace was amazed by it all.  
  
"Say something," Augustus pleaded and Grace laughed through her tears. He looked so worried, but he had no reason to worry. He had told her how he felt and she wasn't going to be scared off by it.  
  
"Augustus Dmitri, I love you," Grace barely got the words out before he was kissing her. Kissing her with a mad passion that swept her off her feet. His face was wet with tears, but it didn't matter because so was her own. "I love you," Grace said again as they broke for air.  
  
Augustus smiled the biggest smile Grace had ever seen on him. "You're wonderful, you truly are so amazing."  
  
"And interesting," Grace added with a smile.  
  
"Yes, extremely interesting. I could spend my whole life with you and never be bored," Augustus picked her up off the ground and they swung around in a circle. Grace laughed happily.  
  
"Is this crazy?" Augustus asked as he put her down, "Are we making a horrible mistake?"  
  
"No, no, Augustus, I love you so much. This is right. We need to be together. Forget about our ages, forget that you're my teacher and just look in my eyes." Grace waited and he looked, "I love you."  
  
"I can't believe those words are coming from your mouth. I never dreamed those times I would watch you in the halls that you could love me too."  
  
"I do." Grace leaned in to him and he met her halfway. Grace wrapped her arms around him and their lips entwined in another earth-shaking kiss. Neither of them held anything back. Augustus had let himself out there and Grace had accepted him whole-heartedly.  
  
* * * 


	11. It's not good

~A Once and Again series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Wow, I'm on chapter eleven already!  
  
Chapter 11// It's not good  
  
Grace sat up as the movie credits began to roll. She looked down at Augustus who looked ready to fall asleep. Grace hadn't really been watching the movie that much. She had been enjoying being in Augustus' arms and having his lips on hers for most of the movie. "I should go."  
  
Augustus pulled her back down on top of him on the couch, "Do you have to?"  
  
Grace kissed him, slow and sweet. His hands entwined in her hair, messing it up even more. He tasted so good. Like mint ice cream. Gently Grace pulled away and motioned at the clock, 10:45pm, "I have a curfew."  
  
"Oh," Augustus said and he sat up too. "Then you should go."  
  
"Maybe my mom won't miss me for just one night." Grace half-joked. It was painful to have to leave him, not knowing when she'd get another chance for alone time like this. Especially, now after they declared their love for each other. Grace still couldn't believe this handsome intelligent man was in love with her.  
  
"Go, go." Augustus instructed.  
  
Grace sighed and went about finding her shoes. "When can we do this again?"  
  
Augustus retrieved her left shoe from under the couch and handed it to her. Grace found the right one by the bookcase. Augustus walked over to her and watched her as she put them on. "I really don't know, Grace. Soon, soon, I hope. Now that the play is over, I'll have much more free time."  
  
Grace got her shoes on and stood up, looking at him with a smile, "Are your friends going to be setting you up on more blind dates?"  
  
Augustus smiled and shook his head, "Not if I have any say in it. I'll just have to tell them I'm not interested in dating anyone. What I won't say is why."  
  
"Which is?" Grace asked, just because she wanted to hear the words.  
  
"Because I have you, Grace. Because I love you, Grace. Because no one else in the world is as interesting as you, Grace. Because no one else could make me feel the way you do, Grace." Augustus held out a hand to her. Grace took it and he twirled her around, ballroom dance style. He dipped her, making her laugh.  
  
"You're so beautiful," Augustus said as he pulled her back up to him. He kissed her mouth, her cheeks, her forehead, her ears, her neck.  
  
"Oh," Grace whispered softly, closing her eyes as her body tingled with pleasure. She reached out to grab him, but got only air. She opened her eyes. He was watching her.  
  
"I can't kiss you anymore or you'll be late getting home." Augustus said.  
  
"Just one more kiss?" Grace asked, moving towards him.  
  
Augustus sighed, "One more kiss leads to two kisses and then three and pretty soon you'll won't be able to leave at all."  
  
Grace looked up into his eyes, "What's so bad about that?"  
  
"Your mother will get worried, call the cops, the cops will find your car here, and find you in my arms."  
  
Grace nodded, "Yeah, I get it." She picked her coat off of the kitchen table and put it on. She opened the sliding glass door and turned back to Augustus. She said something low under her breath.  
  
"What?" Augustus asked and moved closer.  
  
Grace smiled and pulled him in for one last kiss, "Sorry, I had to do that."  
  
"Hey, I'm not mad. Not mad at all. Goodnight Grace, sweet dreams."  
  
"Goodnight, Augustus." Grace forced herself to leave, knowing that she had to rush if she wanted to make it home on time. After all that stuff earlier with her mother asking her if she had a boyfriend, Grace didn't want to raise her mother's suspicions even more. Grace turned and looked over her shoulder as she hurried to the driveway and her car. Augustus was watching her leave. Grace felt comforted by that.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace entered the house and was surprised at the stillness of it. No fighting between Zoe and Jessie over the remote, no late night popcorn popping in the microwave, no excited chatter coming from the den, nothing. Grace felt a chill come over her immediately as stepped into the kitchen, even though she had just come in from the cold. Something wasn't right. It didn't feel right. Her house was never this quiet.  
  
"Mom!" Grace jumped at the sound of her own voice bouncing off the silent walls. "Rick? Jessie? Zoe? Anyone?" Grace knew they wouldn't all be in bed at only 11, and even though it was possibly they might be, something just didn't feel right. Grace reached for the wall and her gloved hand fumbled for the light switch. Immediately the room was bathed in light.  
  
"Oh, my god," Grace cried out as she surveyed the kitchen. Plates were set on the table with half-eaten food still on them. A glass of milk was overturned, making a white puddle. The chairs were drawn away from the table as if something had happened and interrupted the family's dinner. Grace counted the plates, only three. Her mother and Rick had been going to go to the planetarium and then out to dinner. Eli, Jessie and Zoe must have sat down to dinner when something happened that they left the table and the house without even pausing to clean up. Grace couldn't think for a moment, all she could see were the plates, with gobs of yellow macaroni drying on them, and that spilled milk.  
  
Finally Grace realized what it all meant. Something terrible had happened that they had to leave in the middle of dinner. Rick and her mother had been out, driving to the restaurant. A telephone call maybe, and they had jumped out of their chairs and left to go.. to the hospital. Rick and her mother out driving, a drunk driver, a freak accident, and bam! Lives were fragile, too fragile.  
  
"Mommy," Grace cried without realizing it and she ran towards the fridge, hoping for a note, something. She looked on the countertops, in the living room.. nothing. She went to the window and realized what she hadn't noticed earlier, there were no cars in the driveway, besides the one she just drove up in.  
  
Grace ran to the phone, wanting to get answers, but not knowing whom to call. The phone rang as she approached it. It sounded horrible in this deathly quiet house. Suddenly Grace was afraid to pick it up, afraid to get the answers she wanted. But it kept ringing and Grace saw her hand reaching for it, despite her fears. "Hello," She whispered.  
  
"Grace! Oh, I'm so glad you're there." Her mother's voice, heavy with sadness, but still alive. Her mother was alright.  
  
"Mom, what happened? Is it Rick?" Grace asked, feeling guilty that she was so glad her mother was okay, when someone else must be hurt.  
  
"No, Grace, it's Karen. We're at the hospital."  
  
Grace could hear the tears in her mother's voice. "Mom, what happened?"  
  
"Karen got hit by a car, honey, earlier today. I tried to reach you, but I couldn't find you, Gracie."  
  
Grace felt her eyes swelling up with tears, feeling even guiltier knowing that her mother hadn't been able to find her because she had been at Augustus'. While Karen was in the hospital, Grace had been kissing Augustus. While her family rushed to go to the hospital, Grace had been letting Augustus twirl her around the room. When her mother had been trying to reach her, Grace had been laying on Augustus' couch, making out with him while a movie played in the background. "But, she's going to be okay, right mom?" Grace finally whispered.  
  
Her mother's voice broke and Grace listened to her cry, "Gracie, it's not good. Oh, poor Jessie and Eli." A pause as her mother fought to control herself, "Grace, just come to Mercy Hospital. We're all in the Intensive Care Unit waiting room. You know where Mercy is?"  
  
"I know where it is." Grace wanted to say more, to comfort her mother, but she felt her tongue lying uselessly in her mouth.  
  
"Hurry, sweetie." Her mother hung up the phone.  
  
Grace stared at the silent phone for a moment and took a deep breath. She bowed her head and replaced the phone on its hook. Grace didn't know what to make of all this. 'Gracie, it's not good. Oh, poor Jessie and Eli' kept running through her head. 'Not good'.. Karen got hit by a car. That painful break in her mother's voice as she began to cry.  
  
"Oh, my god," Grace said to the silent house, where Eli and Jessie's dinner had been interrupted by a telephone call informing them that their mother was in the hospital. She imagined Eli picking up the phone and silently replacing it on the hook after he had been informed of the bad news. Him turning to Jessie and Zoe and uttering the horrible words. Jessie jumping up and knocking over her milk, crying out 'Mommy!'. The three of them hurrying into Eli's car, making the drive to the hospital. The hospital tracking down Rick and Lily at the restaurant, interrupting their meal. The two of them leaving quickly, Rick dropping a handful of bills on the table. It was all too horrible. And Grace hadn't been here for her family. If anything she had been causing her mother even more pain as her mother called up the library and her friend's houses, trying to get in touch with her. Grace had been away from it all, safely in Augustus' arms, not realizing the world was going around outside of the two of them.  
  
Grace grabbed the car keys and made her way back out into the night. This time she had no Augustus watching her from behind the glass. This time, she didn't feel comforted and safe.  
  
* * * 


	12. It hurts

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter 12// It hurts  
  
Augustus Dmitri was surprised by the empty chair in his fifth hour advanced English class. He taught the class, his mouth mechanically forming the words. Finally after what seemed like forever the bell rung and Augustus looked at the chair again. There was no reason for him to be this worried, students missed school all the time. But Grace wasn't just any student, and less than 24 hours ago she had been safely in his arms. Something else about her absence bugged him too, and he realized with surprise that tonight was the last performance of the play. He hadn't even thought about it all day, but Grace wouldn't miss today unless something horrible happened.  
  
Augustus' stare on the sad empty chair was disrupted by a student walking past it. Augustus looked up and saw it was Katie. He had seen Katie talking to Grace before and had seen Katie in the halls with Jessie, so maybe she might know what was going on. "Katie."  
  
Katie stopped in surprise, "Yeah, Mr. Dmitri?"  
  
Augustus hesitated, waiting for the last student to leave the room. "Did you talk with Jessie today?"  
  
Katie furrowed her brow in confusion, wondering what her teacher was getting at. "No, she didn't come to school today."  
  
A chill went over Augustus, "She didn't?"  
  
Katie nodded.  
  
"Grace didn't come either, don't you think that's odd?"  
  
Katie's eyes widened. "Yeah, I do," She whispered.  
  
"Especially since we have the last performance of the play tonight," Augustus added. He and Katie looked at each other, both letting their fears rise up.  
  
Katie fumbled in her backpack and pulled out a cell phone. Augustus' eyebrows slightly raised, but he didn't say anything. It was strictly forbidden for students to have cell phones on campus. If a teacher saw one he was supposed to take it away immediately. Katie looked up and saw his look, "Mr. D, I don't usually bring it to school, I just forgot.."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, just call them." Augustus said impatiently.  
  
Katie pressed a few keys, drawing up Jessie's number in her phone memory. Augustus watched as she put it to her ear. Katie waited and waited. Finally she said, "Hi. Is Jessie.. Oh, oh my god.. oh, no." Katie stepped back and sat down hard on top of Augustus' desk. Her hand fell away from her ear as tears formed in her eyes.  
  
"Katie?" Augustus asked. Katie didn't answer, just held the phone out to him. "Hello?" Augustus said cautiously into the phone.  
  
"Augustus?" Grace's voice greeted him.  
  
"Oh, Grace, oh you're okay.. what happened?"  
  
"Jessie's mom got hit by a car yesterday. They tried everything they could, but she didn't make it. She's gone."  
  
Augustus felt tears forming in his own eyes, poor Jessie, poor Grace. "I'm so sorry Grace."  
  
"She never regained consciousness after it happened. They never got to say goodbye to her." Grace drew a deep breath, "It's been hard for everyone. It was so unexpected. Everyone's lives are so fragile, too fragile."  
  
"Grace, do you need me? I can come be with you." Augustus offered, wishing he was holding her in his arms at that very moment.  
  
"No, no. I'll be o..k.. It's too risky if you came. Too many questions."  
  
"Grace, fuck the risks!" Augustus exclaimed. He felt Katie's eyes on him, but he didn't bother to lower his voice. "I love you Grace, and if you need me, I want to be with you."  
  
"No, Augustus, I'm just glad I can talk to you over the phone. Hearing your voice helps. But right now I just need to be here for my family, and I love you too, but I don't want to make things worse on them."  
  
"I understand. Grace, I'm so sorry. I love you." Augustus glanced at Katie who was watching him with wide-eyed wonder.  
  
"I love you too." Grace said into the phone.  
  
Katie reached out for the phone again, her tears had stopped.  
  
"Grace, Katie wants to talk to you." He handed the phone to Katie and listened to her, wishing he could still be hearing Grace's voice.  
  
"Grace? How's Jessie?" A long pause. "Oh, can I come see her?" Katie began tapping her leg with her free hand. Augustus reached, to calm the fidgety hand and Katie's hand gratefully took his. "But, I want to be there for her." Katie looked up into Augustus' eyes, and they shared a moment. Augustus realized this girl was going through the same thing he was going through. They both loved a girl who was in pain, because the world was cruel. Even before Katie spoke the words, Augustus already knew what she was going to say, "I love her, Grace." Katie took a deep breath and listened to Grace. Her grip on Augustus' hand tightened. "Yeah, okay. I guess. Bye, Grace."  
  
Katie dropped the phone from her ear and looked up at Augustus again. Tears still hung from her eyelashes and her cheeks were wet. They didn't have to say anything; they both knew how the other felt. Augustus pulled Katie into a hug. It was a long hug, and Katie cried a few more tears. Finally they broke.  
  
"What did Grace say to you?" Augustus asked.  
  
"She said it would be best if I didn't go there until after school. Give Jessie some more time. Jessie's in bad shape, she said." Katie kicked at the garbage can. "Why did it have to happen?"  
  
Augustus sighed, "I don't know."  
  
Katie looked at the clock. They were both missing their lunch hour, but neither cared about much about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and potato chips right now. Katie looked back at him, seeming to survey his face and go deeper than that and look into him. "So, you love her?"  
  
"And you love her?"  
  
There was silence as they both digested this new information. Then they both managed a pained smile and at the same time said, "Yeah."  
  
* * *  
  
Grace hung up the phone. She walked over to the living room entrance. Her mother was holding Zoe and rocking her as Zoe asked tough questions, Judy and Sam sat together on the couch, whispering and hugging each other. Rick sat in the corner on the floor with Jessie curled up in his lap. Jessie was sleeping, after crying herself to sleep, and in her difficult sleep, Jessie had resorted to sucking her thumb like a child. Grace had been with her mother and Zoe before the phone rang and she had offered to answer it. It had been difficult to be the person who answered, knowing that she would have to be the bearer of bad news. It had been so wonderful to hear Augustus and know he cared so much about her. But it had been hard to tell them the news, so hard.  
  
Grace looked at her grieving family and then at the door to the garage. Since they came home this morning at four am, Eli had been tucked away in his garage apartment, separate from the rest of them. Her mother and Rick probably thought he was sleeping, but Grace didn't believe it. It had been so hard on all of them last night, in that waiting room, given updates on Karen every half-hour, each one becoming harder and harder as the doctors said she wasn't going to make it. Grace was scared for Eli. He shouldn't be alone right now. Grace took one last look into the living room and headed towards the garage.  
  
She had been afraid the door would be locked and that Eli wouldn't let her or anyone in, but the knob turned easily under her grasp. She hesitated and then pushed it open. She found Eli on his bed. His eyes stared, unblinking up at the ceiling. His shirt was off and one of his shoes, like he had been getting undressed and had just collapsed. Grace didn't like the look of his blank eyes, just staring into nothingness.  
  
"Eli?" He didn't answer. Grace went to him and sat on the bed next to him. She looked down at him, but he still stared up at the ceiling. Grace felt tears forming in her own eyes after she had thought she was all cried out. "Eli." She shook him but he didn't move, didn't blink. His stomach rose in and out and Grace was grateful for that at least. "Eli, you can't do this, you can't hide from the world because the pain is too much. Jessie needs you, your dad needs you, I need you. You can't keep this wall up between you and the world. Come back to us, Eli. Even though it hurts," Grace said, but now she couldn't hold back her tears. She lay down next to him and cried onto his bare chest. She didn't know how to fix Eli. She was scared he was broken for good. She cried for Eli, and for Karen and for Jessie curled up in her dad's lap, sucking her thumb. She cried for Rick, her mother, her sister, for Judy and Sam and for all those people that had known Karen in some way. And she cried for herself.  
  
Only after her tears were dried up, did Grace realized Eli had moved his arms around her. Grace looked up, glancing at the wetness her tears had left on Eli's skin. Eli's eyes were focused, he wasn't staring at the ceiling anymore. He was looking at the bedside table, where a picture of him, Jessie and Karen sat.  
  
"Eli?"  
  
Eli turned to her, his eyes were blinking and there were tears. "It hurts." Grace took him in her arms as he cried, comforting him the best she could. Eventually the two fell asleep, holding each other.  
  
* * *  
  
Rick was glad when Jessie stopped sucking her thumb and crawled out of his arms and left to go to the bathroom. He took it as a good sign that she might be doing better. But then she came downstairs, having gone to the bathroom and to her room, and Rick saw she was clutching pictures in her hands and her eyes were rimmed with tears. He got up to go to her, when another person entered the picture. Rick watched as Katie rushed from the front door to Jessie and the two girls hugged. Rick looked down at himself, standing there, unsure of what to do. All night and all day he had been the comforter and now he didn't have to be. He turned to Lily who was recognizing this too and Lily took him in her arms and it was his turn to be comforted.  
  
* * *  
  
The adults and Zoe were picking at their spaghetti when Jessie entered the kitchen alone. Rick turned and was ready for anything. Jessie looked at them and asked, "Where's Eli?"  
  
"I think he's still in the garage." Rick answered.  
  
"Are you hungry, dear?" Lily asked gently.  
  
Jessie shook her head, "No.. maybe later." Rick took this as another good sign and he looked at his daughter and he realized that they were going to make it out of this.  
  
Jessie made her way to the garage, wanting to be with Eli. She was surprised when she opened the door and found him and Grace sleeping, holding each other. She walked to the edge of the bed and stared down at them, not sure of how she was supposed to feel. She saw the picture on the table next to the bed and went to it. Eli, her mother and her. They all looked so happy, so carefree. Jessie began crying again.  
  
"Jessie?" Grace sat up and saw the crying girl in the corner by the bedside table. She went to Jessie and took her in her arms. They hugged. They both looked at Eli, who was still asleep. Grace took Jessie's hand and led her to the bed and still sniffling Jessie climbed into the bed between Grace and Eli. Jessie cried herself to sleep, sandwiched between her brother and her stepsister. She was clutching the picture in her hand. Grace waited until Jessie's crying stopped and her breathing became regular and deep and then she allowed herself to sleep too.  
  
Lily came and opened the door to check on them. She found the three of them asleep in each other's arms and it was such a beautiful moment that came to be because of such a tragedy. She looked over them and smiled a sad smile. Gently she closed the door, and headed upstairs to her bedroom, where Rick was going about the terrible business of making phone calls.  
  
* * * 


	13. The good, the bad and the ugly

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Thanks once again for reading, everyone. I've been trying to keep writing when I can, because soon classes start up again and I won't have as much free time. I just watched the Experience is the Teacher rerun, aw, sweet bliss, but why did it have to end like this? I've always loved Grace and Dimitri together and also loved Eli and Grace together. But which one should win the fair lady's heart? If only ABC hadn't been stupid and stopped the show. Julia (Grace) is by far an amazing actress. That little frustrated spin she did when Lily interrupted her "wine tasting" with Dimitri gets me every time. Anyways, on to the show!  
  
Chapter 13// The good, the bad and the ugly  
  
Eli woke first. He stared accusingly at the room, which was filled with gentle sunlight. The sunlight seemed so wrong. Sunlight was a thing of walks in the park, and sandcastles on the beach, it didn't belong here. Not on the day after his mother's death. But, God works in mysterious ways or so they say.  
  
A slim arm was wrapped around his own and Eli looked down at his sleeping sister. Even in sleep, life must be chasing her, as Jessie's brow was furrowed and her mouth drawn tight. Eli sat up, gently easing himself away from Jessie's clutch. He know saw Grace on the other side of Jessie. Grace's face was expressionless in her sleep, she reminded him of sleeping beauty at the moment, with her hair fluttered out on the pillow, just waiting for her prince to come.  
  
Eli couldn't break his stare from Grace's sleeping form. She had saved him. She had made him face reality and not lock himself away. She had done more than she or anyone would ever realize. She had taken his hand while he stood on the brink of nothingness, pure blissful nothingness. It would have been so easy to take that final step and send himself over the edge, where nothing would ever hurt him again. He had heard her voice, calling him back to life, back to pain and sadness. She had cried and he had found himself and had been able to hold her as she cried and she returned the favor for him. Grace had saved him from stepping out one step too far, made him come back and he loved her for that.  
  
But, in truth, he had loved her long before yesterday, long before last week and long before last month. Eli didn't know where it began; it just seemed to grow slowly, gaining more ground in his heart as time went on. It wasn't the fairly tale love at first sight that most people expected, instead it had been a pleasant surprise as this wonderful girl slowly took up more room in his heart and thoughts. Eli began to recognize what he felt as love and it scared him to his core. How could he love a girl who was so off-limits to him? They had nothing in common, and sometimes their conversations were strained and awkward. But, it had stayed the same in his heart, nothing could make it go away, he loved her. He fought against it, dating girls who purposefully the opposite of Grace, the kind of girls he told himself he should love and be with. But it hadn't worked and each relationship ended with a sigh of relief as Eli could go back to concentrating his thoughts fully on just Grace. He knew he was in too deep and now Grace was in love with someone else. And Mr. Dimitri was fully the ideal man Eli had always pictured would be right for Grace. Eli had been too slow and someone else had stolen the girl, only she wasn't ever his to steal from anyways. Grace was special and Eli should have known someone else would see that too, and he waited too long. He made his move after Dimitri was in the picture and had only caused Grace pain as she had clearly made her choice. Eli was only the tomato soup to his chicken noodle.. the back burner to his front burner. It hurt. But it seemed like everything hurt these days. He lost his mother and there was no words to describe the hurt that created. It was too painful, too fresh.  
  
Grace awoke second, sitting up on Eli's bed and stretching her sore limbs from sharing a bed with two other people. She turned to him, without words they greeted each other. Eli's eyes were fresh with tears and Grace moved to him.  
  
"I just keep hearing her voice, it's still so clear to me. I don't understand how it can be like this? I can still smell her shampoo and see the tinkle in her eyes when she laughed. How can she be gone?" Eli asked. Grace hugged him, not knowing what words to say. Eli continued, "She used to sing that song to me as a little kid, 'Hush, now baby, don't say a word, momma's going buy you a mocking bird..'. She used to love to swim, we used to swim together. It's not right; I can still see the way she would smile over her coffee in the morning, waking up to another day. And how she would always put both of her shoes on and then tie them."  
  
"I can still feel how soft her hands used to be," Jessie added from the bed. Eli and Grace sat down on the edge of the bed and they remembered what was there only a day before and now was gone.  
  
* * *  
  
Augustus never expected to see her face today. He had resigned himself to not seeing her again for the next few days. But here she was, leaning up against his car, waiting for him. "Grace."  
  
Grace smiled lightly at him. "Hey."  
  
Augustus went to take her into a hug, but all too soon realized the hundreds of witnesses walking past as the school departed for the day. "Want to go for a drive?"  
  
Grace nodded and Augustus unlocked his car. They were silent until they reached the parking lot. Augustus turned and looked at her as he parked, but her eyes were surveying the empty lot. "Grace?"  
  
"I came here with Eli once, you know," Grace paused, waiting for a reaction from Augustus. When she didn't get one, she continued, "It was last Saturday.. wow, that seems like an eternity ago. He gave me a ride home after the play, he stopped here." Grace waited for him to say anything. She looked at him, but he was staring out the windshield. "He kissed me, and I kissed him back."  
  
"Saturday?" Augustus said finally.  
  
"Yeah, and after the kiss, I told him it was a mistake. I knew it was a mistake, I still know it was a mistake."  
  
"Yeah, well.. that's good." Augustus sighed, "But was it really a mistake?"  
  
"Yes! God, yes!" Grace grabbed his arm, "I knew it was you I wanted to be with. Sunday confirmed everything. What you and I have is so much more important than a silly kiss and a crush."  
  
"Who's crush?" Augustus asked abruptly.  
  
"Eli's crush, on me!"  
  
"But do you like him too, Grace?" Augustus demanded.  
  
"No.. well, I'll be honest with you, yeah, I have some feelings for him still. But since I became involved with you, I put those feelings aside! You're the one I want!" Grace was mad she ever brought the kiss up. If it ruined things between them.. Grace sighed.  
  
"But you kissed him back, those feelings slipped out once, who's to say they won't again?"  
  
"Because I love you! I love you! Whatever I felt about Eli is nothing compared to that!" Grace wished she could make things clear to him.  
  
"Grace, maybe it would be better if you did just choose Eli." Augustus looked straight at her, his face a mask hidden any emotions.  
  
"How can you say that? How can you?" Grace cried out. She took a deep breath and calmed down, "Sometimes I think you got yourself into something that you don't have the courage to follow through in. If you love me, then you owe it to me to give me all that you have and try your hardest to keep us afloat."  
  
Augustus finally smiled and took her hand in his, "You're right. I owe you that. Sometimes, I just need reminding."  
  
Grace smiled, "Don't worry, I'll be here to make sure you don't forget."  
  
They leaned over the seats and shared a warming kiss. Grace drew his love from that kiss and felt renewed. She needed a reminder after the past day of the good things in life. They parted and Augustus grinned and laughed.  
  
"Katie knows about us." He said.  
  
Grace nodded, "I kinda figured."  
  
"I didn't realize she and your sister.."  
  
Grace shrugged, "Life has its surprises. The good, the bad and the ugly."  
  
"Yes, you were a very good surprise to me, Grace." They shared a moment of looking at each other and met again for a deeper longer kiss. Grace unbuckled her seatbelt for more closeness. Their hands met and the fingers entwined together, her long beautiful pale fingers and his callused freckled fingers joined in unity.  
  
Grace waited the appropriate time after they stopped kissing before she brought it up. She didn't want to sound morbid, but death is never anything but. "Karen's funeral is tomorrow, at six in the evening."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Forrest View Funeral Home. I'd like it if you could come." Grace looked into his unreadable eyes. "Don't worry about my family seeing you and me together. We'll get around it.. I just want someone to be there for me."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You will?"  
  
"Yes." Augustus looked deeply in her eyes, "But Grace, we can't just throw caution to the wind. Things could get bad if people found out about us."  
  
"I know. We'll be careful. Even if I can just see your face or look into your eyes, it would help." Grace took his hand and they both smiled at each other. It was amazing how much they were growing to need each other.  
  
* * * 


	14. This is crazy

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter 14// This is crazy  
  
Grace turned in her seat once again. She strained her neck, twisting to look. Finally the red head she sought appeared, a few rows back, directly behind her. He looked out of place, glancing uncomfortably at the many strangers. But then everyone there looked out of place. No one ever wanted to attend a funeral.  
  
Grace looked and waited and his eyes connected with hers. They shared a comforting stare, communicating without words. Grace smiled gently and turned around. She was in the first row with her family, facing the casket and the funeral director. Grace looked briefly at the foreign casket. The lid was closed, as Karen had made a will a few years back and had requested a closed casket. Still, it hurt to see that long polished wooden box, knowing what it held inside.  
  
Jessie was sniffling a few seats down, cradled between Rick and her grandmother.. Karen's mother. What a horrible thing, for a mother to see her daughter being put into the ground. It wasn't supposed to be that way. Parents were supposed to go before their children, preferably at the ripe old age of 100. But the rules had been tossed out the window that Sunday evening when Karen stepped a few steps too far and a car turned the corner too fast, seeing her too late.  
  
Grace didn't know how she'd survive if it was her mother laying beneath that slab of wood. Grace reached out for her mother's hand, grasping it tightly, taking comfort in the warmth of it. Grace held on to it as the funeral procession began.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace returned to school the day after the funeral. She didn't have to, her mother would have let her stay home, like Jessie, but Grace was anxious to return. She had grieved and cried and comforted and been comforted. She had her regrets that she hadn't really known Karen as anyone other than the woman who came to pick up Jessie every now and then. But, time didn't allow her to go back and mend things so the best thing she could do was go on. Take each day and live. Grace knew it things would be different for Jessie, and for Eli. They would need longer to heal and even then the scabs would only be a covering, so easy to pick off and let the blood flow again.  
  
Grace made it through the morning, uneasily accepting apologies and condolences for a woman she hadn't known enough. She entered her fifth hour class with anticipation. She longed for Augustus. She hadn't gotten to talk to him at the funeral, but just knowing he was there was enough. She was surprised when she saw Mr. Dimitri's chair empty. She sat down in her own chair and watched the door.  
  
She waited, more students entered. The bell rung, a few students rushed into class late armed with excuses and apologies, noticed Mr. Dimitri's absence and walked casually to their seats, taking their time. Grace began to drum her fingernails in frustration. Where was he? The class began whispering to each other, keeping one eye on the door. A minute passed and the noise level increased exceedingly. Grace heard snatches of conversation.  
  
"I heard.. Katie, yeah.. she and.. no way.. he's too old for.. that's crazy.. Mr. Dimitri.. Katie.. wow, really?"  
  
Grace sunk lower into her chair, forcing herself not to scream out at them. She had added it up in her head, obviously, a rumor involving Katie and Mr. Dimitri was being spread. Grace knew it was totally false, whatever the exact rumor was. Katie was a lesbian and Mr. Dimitri was hers. Still, it hurt to hear his name in slander.  
  
"I say we ditch this class! Mr. Dimitri isn't coming," A boy stood up and said. Cheers from the class.  
  
"Hmm, well Katie's not hear either," Alexa pointed out. There was snickers and laughter from the peanut gallery. Grace grimaced. "We all know what they means!" More laughter.  
  
Grace closed her ears to the crude acquisitions flying across the room. Grace knew Katie had gotten her mother to let her miss school today so she could be with Jessie. But these idiots didn't deserve to be let in on this. Besides, once rumors started to fly, nothing could stop them. They might quiet down, but there would always be a lingering whisper. But Augustus didn't deserve this, he was a great teacher. Katie didn't deserve it either.  
  
Four minutes had passed since the bell had rung. Some students were standing, backpacks zipped and ready to leave. Everyone was waiting for someone else to be the first. The Vice Principal entered the room, and those students sat down in a hurry and everyone stopped their gossip.  
  
"I'm sorry to say that Mr. Dimitri can't be hear today. So, your class will be moved to the library, where you can work on homework, or I don't know, say read a book?"  
  
Grace trudged unhappily behind the rest of her class. A secretary opened the administrative office as she walked past and Grace caught the smallest glimpse of a red head in the principal's office. Her heart sunk even lower. A stupid lie, spread by gossips couldn't get Augustus in trouble, could it?  
  
* * *  
  
Grace left the school in a hurry, hoping Augustus would still be around. She slowed her pace as she reached the teacher's parking lot and looked for his car. Not there. She was glad her mother had let her use her car today. She drove straight for Augustus' house and was relieved to see his car in the driveway. She parked the car quickly, leaving the keys in it and went to the back door.  
  
Augustus seemed to have been waiting for her. "Hi."  
  
"This is crazy," Grace breathed out.  
  
"I know." Augustus took her in his arms. They leaned against each other, their lips meeting briefly. "Someone must have seen me hug Katie Monday after the phone call to your house. They let their imaginations take over and suddenly I'm sleeping with the girl. The rumors started gaining steam on Wednesday and today I got greeted by the vice principal and escorted to the principal's office."  
  
"Did you explain? You're not in trouble, are you?" Grace asked anxiously.  
  
"I explained, but I didn't go into detail. I told them only what they needed to know, nothing more. I couldn't betray Katie's confidence. And I didn't dare talk about you."  
  
"And what happened?"  
  
Augustus smiled, "I'm cleared. They understand how rumors can start and spread and twist and change. They will have to talk with Katie once she gets back just to make sure she agrees with my version. But, to tell you the truth, they were more concerned that I let her use her cell phone on school grounds. But do to the unfortunate special circumstances they will look past it."  
  
Grace kissed him softly, "I was worried when you weren't there."  
  
"I know." Augustus leaned in and kissed her again. Grace let herself get lost in that kiss, forgetting about her promise to her mother that she would come directly home after school. They fell back against the counters and Augustus lifted her up, so she sat on the cool countertop. He leaned in into her, and her legs wrapped around him. Her long fingers ran through his hair, enjoying the texture of it. Their lips pressed and opened to each other, tasting. His hands slid under her coat and shirt and grasped the bare skin of her back.  
  
Finally it was Augustus who was the one who restrained himself. "Don't you have to be getting home?" Grace glanced at the microwave clock and her mouth dropped open.  
  
"Oh, no. I told my mother I'd come home directly after school so she could she I was still breathing." Grace took Augustus' offered hands and eased off the countertop. She headed towards the doors, stopping with her hand on the handle. She turned back to him, "I was here when it happened. I was here when my mother made calls, trying to find me. I wasn't there; I wasn't at the library like I told her. I wasn't anywhere where she could reach me. I was here. She hasn't asked me about it and I think she maybe has decided not to ask. But she knows me and she knows something is going on in my life. She told me she knows I have a secret boyfriend.. for a while she thought it was Tad," Grace paused.  
  
Augustus managed a strained smile, not knowing where this was headed, not liking where this was headed.  
  
"She wonders why I haven't told her who I'm seeing. I can see the pain, hurt and confusion on her face. We used to be so close. And now I won't let her in on the important man in my life. It hurts me not to tell her. It hurts me to lie to her. I think she might be understanding, she knows about love. I want to just give her a chance so bad. I want to share your name with her."  
  
"Grace, no, you know we can't tell. You're only 17, and I'm still your teacher." Augustus looked pleadingly at her, Grace looked away.  
  
"It's going to be hard to lie to her, especially now after tragedy hit so close by. She wants to know where I am at all times. She wants the numbers I can be reached at." Grace sighed, looking down at her hands.  
  
"Grace, we can figure something out. We can say I'm looking over your stories or you're here for a meeting or something!" Augustus looked down at his own hands, which had a slight tremble over them.  
  
"But, no, you don't get it.. that would still be lying. I don't want to hurt my mother. I say we tell her, just her, and explain things to her and maybe.."  
  
Augustus cut her off, "Do you really want to risk our relationship on a 'maybe'?! And what about my job as a teacher. Look what happened after one hug was seen between me and Katie.. imagine what would happen if the truth about you and me came out, or even just partial truth? And do you really think it's fair to burden your mother with the truth? Tell her something she most likely doesn't want to hear and then ask her to keep it a secret, to keep it bottle up inside her? Is that fair to her?"  
  
"No," Grace whispered.  
  
"Then you see it can only be this way, Grace. At least for the time being. But you'll be 18 in.." Augustus paused, realizing he didn't know her birthday.  
  
"May 8th," Grace offered.  
  
Augustus smiled, "That's not so far away! I could leave the school and we would be free to have an open relationship."  
  
"Leave the school?" Grace asked in surprise.  
  
"Well, I've been thinking of a change. Maybe start writing again. Maybe direct a play at the college," Augustus' eyes lit up with the possibilities.  
  
Grace considered this, turning it over in her head, "But until then I have to lie, and once we're legally allowed to see each other I'll have to tell my mother that I've been lying to her for months. Tell her I didn't trust her enough to share with her the love I have for you? That might hurt her even more, to hear about it later rather than now."  
  
"Grace, we can't tell her. It's not an option, you need to get that through your head!" Augustus snapped at her.  
  
Grace shook her head, her eyes lined with tears, "I can't get it through my head. Maybe we should.."  
  
"Maybe what?"  
  
Grace hesitated, on the verge of saying something, instead she looked at her watch, "Oh, I really have to go." She turned around, giving him one last chance to speak. When he didn't, her shoulders slumped and she turned and walked out the door.  
  
"Grace!" Augustus cried out too late. "Grace!" 


	15. People make mistakes

~A Once and Again series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter 15// People make mistakes  
  
Grace lay on her bed. She knew she was hurting Augustus, but she was just so confused right now. She loved him, but was that enough? Was that a good enough reason to lie to her mother, to hide her relationship with Augustus from the world and to never be able to be seen with him in public? After Karen's death, Grace realized her mother might not be there forever. She could lose her in a blink of an eye. So, was it right to exclude her mother from knowing about the love of her life? She thought there might be a chance that her mother might understand, but it was a slim chance. No mother could ever feel perfectly fine with a man in his thirties dating her teenager. And the whole thing about him being her teacher. Grace knew all it would take was a few words about the two of them as a couple to spread and the school board would take away his teaching license. What Augustus had said made sense, wait until she was 18 and he was no longer her teacher before telling anyone. But Grace didn't know if she could take six more months of silence and lies to the ones she loved most. Maybe she had gotten in too deep too fast. Maybe it was time she found her way out, so things could be easier on the both of them.  
  
For the past week, Grace had been thinking these thoughts, and avoiding Augustus. She was the first to rush out of the classroom and the last to enter. She didn't stop by his classroom after school or on lunch breaks and she didn't go to his house. She could see the hurt, pain and confusion on his face when he allowed his mask to slip. But Grace needed time; she needed to think things over. She needed to make a decision.  
  
Grace sighed and rolled off her bed. She went to her desk and opened the drawer to take out one of her computer disks with the short stories she wrote on it. Instead she noticed a paper and pulled it out.  
  
Dearest Augustus,  
  
I can't begin to think of how to tell you what we shared today (yesterday by the time you get this letter) meant to me. You are an amazing man and when I was with you, I was an amazing woman. You and I have something special. Others may not think it right, but how could something that feels this good be wrong? I  
  
  
  
It was the letter she had written only a few weeks ago, the day of their first kisses, in the auditorium and then in his car. Only Eli had interrupted her and she had never finished it. Grace looked the letter over, her fingers running over the words. It seemed so long ago, but it wasn't really. And now she was thinking of ending things with him.  
  
A knock at her door. Grace tore up the unfinished letter and dropped it in her trash. She looked down at it, regretting having done that to it.  
  
"Grace?" It was Eli. Grace went and opened the door for him. He looked good as usual, in a gray tee shirt with a long sleeved blue shirt layered underneath. His hair was spiked and messy and he wore jeans and white socks.  
  
"Don't your socks get dirty?" Grace asked, letting him in.  
  
"Huh?" Eli entered her room and closed the door behind him.  
  
"Well, from going back and forth from the house to the garage?" Grace sat down on her bed; Eli sat in her desk chair.  
  
"Do you really care about my socks?" Eli asked, a half smile on his face.  
  
Grace shook her head, "No, not really." They smiled at each other. "So, what's up?"  
  
Eli just looked at her. "Huh?"  
  
"Why did you come to see me?" Grace asked.  
  
"Oh," Eli shrugged. "I just was in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by." He joked.  
  
Grace smiled, and waited. There had to be a real reason he stopped by. The two of them weren't exactly friends. Although, after you kiss someone and then tell them you can't date them, doesn't that qualify you as something more than a friend? Grace didn't know. All she knew was that Eli had something on his mind.  
  
"I've been thinking," Eli began, "I don't think Mr. Dimitri is good for you. I don't like how your relationship with him is stressing you out." Eli moved next to her on the bed, and Grace looked up at him.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Don't kid yourself, Grace. I can tell you are confused and stressed about your relationship with him. You've been distracted for the past few days and well, you seem depressed. I heard your mother talking about it to my dad, even. They're starting to see it too. I knew it was him making you feel this way, and so that's why I came up here tonight. I don't think you're happy in your relationship with him and you maybe just think things will get better, but I think they will just get worse. I don't want to see you hurting like this."  
  
Grace sighed, "You're just saying this because you want me to move from him to you."  
  
"Well, maybe a little, but I'm not lying about how you've seemed depressed lately. Your mother is getting worried. She thought at first it was because of.. my mother's death, but now she's beginning to wonder. I don't doubt that soon she'll be coming to talk to you. Just, think about it Grace, is he really worth all this pain?" Eli leaned a little closer and Grace was afraid at first that he was going to try to kiss her but he was only getting up off the bed. "Just think about it, Grace."  
  
Grace watched him leave her room. What he didn't know was that she was thinking about it. She had been thinking about it all week. She had been struggling with trying to make a decision and hadn't realized her family was noticing how stressed she had been lately. She needed to decide something soon, before her mother decided to put her on anti-depressants or something.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace drove to his house that night. She had lied to her mother once again, telling her she was going to be going to the library. But, after tonight, hopefully it will be the last lie she'd have to tell her mother. She was going to do it, she had to do it. She was ready.  
  
"Grace." Augustus greeted at his back door in a guarded tone. But, that wasn't surprising after she ignored him all week. Augustus studied her, trying to read her motives, finally he stepped aside and let her in.  
  
"I came here to talk, about us." Grace told him.  
  
Augustus nodded, "I figured. Let me guess.. you can't do this anymore."  
  
Grace nodded, not liking how he was removed of any emotions as he said this. "I'm sorry."  
  
Augustus shrugged, "Oh, well, life happens. If you'll let yourself out, I have papers to grade."  
  
Grace stared angrily at him, "That's it? You don't care? You're not even going to ask why?"  
  
His cool green eyes met hers, "Could anything I say change your mind?"  
  
"Well, no, I don't think so.." Grace said uneasily.  
  
"So, why go through the motions?" Augustus headed into his living room, Grace hesitated, then followed.  
  
"Please, Augustus, just.."  
  
He turned at the sound of his name on her lips, "We should go back to using Mr. Dimitri. After all, I'm just your teacher now and you're just my student."  
  
"You can't be this way!" Grace demanded.  
  
"Oh, I thought you'd be happy to have a clean break. I knew what you intended to so since you left my house last week, I've just been waiting for you to make it official." Augustus sat on his couch, the same one she had cuddled with him on during their one and only date.  
  
"Why are you so cold? Don't you have any emotions about this?" Grace asked.  
  
"I'm sorry to say that I don't. You're better off without me anyways, Grace. I should have known better than to get involved with a student." Augustus reached for the stack of papers on the coffee table.  
  
Grace watched him, her fists clenched. She had come ready for a fight, for him to argue with her, she didn't expect this. "Augustus.."  
  
"Call me Mr. Dimitri, remember?" Augustus smiled up at her, and that's when Grace couldn't take any more.  
  
"Fine! If you want to play it this way, then I'll go! I'm sorry you thought we were a mistake. I never ever felt that way about us. I liked what we had, but I just couldn't go on with it anymore. I needed.."  
  
Mr. Dimitri cut her off, "Is this necessary? I told you that you didn't have to give me a reason."  
  
Grace couldn't believe this, "I thought you loved me."  
  
Mr. Dimitri shrugged, "People make mistakes."  
  
Grace left, tears fresh in her eyes. Augustus watched her go. He listened for her car to roar to life and then pull away. Only then did he allow his face to fall into his hands, only then did he cry. He had acted in plays in high school and college. He was a pretty good actor and he had just put on the show of his life.  
  
* * * 


	16. Maybe

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter 16// Maybe  
  
Grace hurt. She hurt so badly on the inside. On the outside, she gave her family an appearance of normalness, but she felt anything but. She just didn't want her mother to see how much she was hurting, so she put up a front. Grace believed they all bought it; her mother seemed happier and gave her less worried looks. The only one who seemed to see through her mask was Eli. Grace could see the questions in his eyes, and she knew he was wondering if she had broken up with Mr. Dimitri yet. Grace had, but she wasn't ready yet to tell him. She needed time. She still hurt from Augustus' coldness, his lack of any emotions about their break up. And every week day Grace had to enter his classroom and see him there as Mr. Dimitri. It hurt.  
  
Grace wished she could go back and change things. She wished she had never thought of breaking up with him. She would try to live with the lies and secrecy as long as she could be with him. She loved him, she did. She had got this idea that breaking up would be the best for both of them, but now she wondered. She wondered if maybe they still had a chance, if maybe Augustus was only wearing his own mask when she had broken up with him. Maybe he didn't really feel that way, that their relationship was a mistake. Because that was so unlike him, he said he loved her, how could he think it was a mistake? Grace didn't know. She didn't know anything.  
  
* * *  
  
"Jessie?" Grace knocked at the door to her stepsister's attic room. Jessie's muffled call came back to her, telling her to come in. Grace opened the door and continued up the steps. Jessie was sitting at her desk doing homework. "I was wondering if you had that CD I let you borrow." Grace told her.  
  
Jessie stood up, going through the pile of CDs next to her CD player. "Oh, here it is."  
  
Grace took it from her, "Thanks." She began to leave.  
  
"Wait!" Jessie called after her. Grace turned around. Jessie nervously tucked her hair behind her ears. "I wanted to ask you something."  
  
"Go ahead," Grace moved a little closer.  
  
"I know you said it wasn't any of my business, but I was wondering about this other man in your life."  
  
"What other man?" Grace asked in surprise.  
  
"On that Sunday three weeks ago.." Jessie paused, remembering what else had happened on that Sunday. A sadness flickered across her face and she pushed it away. Grace realized she wasn't the only one wearing masks around here. "When I interrupted yours and Eli's conversation. He had been talking about this other guy you liked. I know you said it wasn't any of my business, but.."  
  
"There is no other guy," Grace interrupted her, "Not anymore."  
  
"Oh, you broke up with him?" Jessie asked with a smile. Grace was surprised Jessie didn't know this other guy was Mr. Dimitri yet. Katie knew, and Grace had figured she would have told Jessie by now.  
  
"Yeah, we're done," Grace said, remembering Augustus' coldness that day she had ended things.  
  
"So, why did you break up with him? Was it because of Eli?"  
  
Grace snapped out of her painful memories, "No, it wasn't because of Eli. There's nothing between Eli and me. And apparently, there's nothing between me and Au.. the other guy either." Grace heard his words pass through her head again, 'People make mistakes.'  
  
"How can you say there's nothing between you and Eli? He likes you, you must know that!" Jessie obviously wanted to play matchmaker tonight. Grace sighed; it was too soon, she couldn't think about Eli when she was still hurting over Augustus.  
  
"Yeah, I know that, Jessie, but it's too soon. I just broke up with this other guy." Grace explained.  
  
"But when you do get over him," Jessie said with a smile, "Just remember about Eli."  
  
If I ever get over him, Grace said silently in her head. It would be hard to just put aside her feelings of love for Augustus. They hadn't been together long, but what they shared was just so amazing.  
  
"You and Eli would be good for each other, I can see that," Jessie said encouragingly.  
  
"Maybe," Grace said quietly. "Uh, goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight," Jessie called after her as she left the attic.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace knew she was being stupid. Augustus wouldn't want to see her now. After she broke up with him. But Grace had to talk with him; she had to get her feelings sorted out. She even thought that maybe, maybe they could get back together, if he'd have her. That was a big 'if'. But, maybe Grace could make him see somehow just how amazing their relationship had been. They had said they loved each other. He at least owed her a conversation to explain why he had treated her so bad and why he had said he didn't care. She was going to get him to talk, no matter what. And either they'd leave things how they were, but end it with such better terms, or they'd get back together. Grace didn't know how she felt; she just wanted to talk to him so badly.  
  
Grace slowed as she reached his house. She began to pull into the driveway, when she was surprised by a car in the driveway. The red car wasn't Augustus'. Grace drove past the house and began to drive home. She had gotten a few blocks away before she turned back. The need to talk to him was too strong. As she approached his house, Grace pulled to the curb across from his house and killed the engine. She'd just wait, hopefully whoever owned the red car would leave soon. If not, then Grace decided she'd come back tomorrow. Grace waited and watched.  
  
She got lucky. Not five minutes after she arrived did the front door opened. Grace saw Augustus, looking nice in a dark suit exit the house. Maybe she wasn't lucky after all; he looked like he was going out somewhere. Grace watched as another figure exited the house and Augustus leaned in and locked the front door. The other person was someone Grace had never seen before. She was beautiful: tall, slim in a black dress and dress coat with blond hair down to her shoulders. Grace felt her hands tighten on the steering wheel. The woman was too beautiful.  
  
Augustus said something to the woman and she threw her head back and laughed, revealing sparklingly white teeth. She grabbed onto Augustus' arm and they walked to the red car. Grace watched in horror as Augustus leaned closer to the beautiful woman. The woman's blond hair fell over their faces and blocked Grace's view, but she knew he was kissing her. It looked like Augustus had meant what he had said after all. They two pulled apart and the woman handed Augustus' a set of keys from her purse. The woman got into the passenger's side of the car and Augustus into the driver's side. Grace ducked as the car pulled out and drove past her.  
  
Grace couldn't believe this. She never suspected that he would move on so quickly. He hadn't cared about her after all. Not even a week after they broke up and he was dating beautiful blond women in red shiny cars. Augustus' words came back to her: 'People make mistakes.' Grace angrily started up the car. That all she was to him, a mistake.  
  
Grace pulled up at her house, and forced herself to shut off the car and go and replace the keys on the kitchen table. Her mother and Rick had been gone this morning and Grace had took the keys with a sigh of relief, glad she wouldn't have to lie about where she was going. Now Grace wished she had never gone at all.  
  
Muffled music came from the garage. Grace listened for a while, straining to hear what song it was. She looked around the empty kitchen, listened for sounds of Jessie or Zoe. There was nothing, no sound but that muffled music. Grace thought about what Jessie had said to her last night. 'You and Eli would be good for each other.' She thought about what Eli said to her a week ago, 'I don't think Mr. Dimitri is good for you.' Turns out Eli was right. Maybe Jessie was right too. Grace nodded to herself, making up with mind. She went to the garage, knocked on the door of Eli's apartment and waited.  
  
* * * 


	17. Are you sure

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter 17// Are you sure?  
  
Grace knocked again. This time the music was turned down and a few moments later the door opened. Eli looked surprised, but happy to see her. "Hey," He said softly. He looked as if he just rolled out of bed, wearing only a tee shirt and boxers. But it was Saturday and only 11am, so Grace didn't see anything wrong in that.  
  
"Hey, can I come in?" Grace asked shyly.  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Eli stepped aside and let her in and then closed the door behind her. He began to clean the room up a bit, tossing clothes and shoes aside.  
  
"Eli?" Grace said, stopping him. Eli turned and waited. "I broke up with him."  
  
"Oh," Eli looked at the floor and then back up at her.  
  
"I did it a week ago."  
  
"Oh," Eli said in surprise, "Well, that's good."  
  
"Yeah, I made the right decision," Grace said, adding silently to herself, 'at least I hope I did'. She thinks about that woman at Augustus' house and how Augustus leaned into her, kissing her. She continues with more confidence, "I had been thinking about ending it with him for a while, even before you came to talk with me. Things just couldn't work out between us. And it turns out he thought we were a mistake, anyways. I'm glad.." Grace hesitated, "I'm glad it's over between me and him."  
  
"I'm glad too," Eli said softly. He reached out and took her hands.  
  
Grace stared down at their linked hands. His hands were tanned and smooth, unlike Augustus' freckled hands. Grace tried to push Augustus out of her mind, but it was so hard. He had hurt her so much. She should move on, forget about him, as he had obviously forgot about her. Grace looked up, into Eli's dark brown eyes. She knew Eli cared about her, she knew Eli would never treat her the way Augustus had done. And Grace had always had feelings for Eli, ever since she was just a kid, daydreaming about the "popular guy". And when their parents had moved in together and married, Grace got to know Eli even better and she was never disappointed by what she learned. Eli had a hard outside, but inside he cared so much.  
  
"I never thanked you, Grace," Eli said and Grace looked at him in confusion. "About saving me," Eli continued, "Bringing me back after my mother's death. You made me face reality; you made me come back to the living, even though there would be pain. You made me come back, so I could be there for my family."  
  
"But I didn't do anything!" Grace insisted.  
  
"You did more than you realized. You told me to come back. You made me realize I couldn't stay where I was. I was lost inside myself, in a place where there was no pain. I could have easily stayed there, but then I heard your voice and I heard you cry and you brought me back."  
  
Grace listened to his words with awe. "I did?"  
  
"Yeah," Eli smiled at her, "And then I knew that I loved you even more then ever."  
  
Grace let go of his hands in surprise, "You love me?"  
  
"Yeah, I know you don't love me, but.." Eli said with sadness.  
  
Grace cut him off, "That's not true!"  
  
"You do love me?"  
  
Grace sighed, thinking. She cared for Eli and she liked him, but did she love him? And how could she love him when she stilled loved Augustus? Had she been in love with two guys this whole time? Was that possible? But, Grace was beginning to think it was possible. She was beginning to think she did love Eli.  
  
Eli was looking at her, waiting for an answer. Grace smiled at him, "Yes, I love you."  
  
Eli grinned and shyly turned away. Grace watched him, with a happiness in her heart. She did love him, she did. Eli turned back and moved closer to her. Grace stepped closer to him. Eli reached out for her hands and she gave them to him again. This time, however he pulled her in, against him. He stared down into her eyes and Grace saw all the love he had for her reflected in them. Suddenly she was scared, scared to kiss him. Did that even make sense?  
  
Eli hesitated too, and the two just looked at each for a while as he held her in his arms. Grace moved her head upwards finally and Eli bent his downwards. And they kissed. His lips were soft and sweet and Grace let her fears fall away. She kissed with passion, with urgency. She kissed him for all the times she had wished she could as a kid. Their lips tangled together and Grace's body heated up. His hands were on her back and hers on his neck. Grace almost laughed at how she had been scared to kiss him, this felt perfect. She belonged in his arms. Grace lost herself in the kisses, just wanting to remain as close to him as she possibly could. His touch sent tingles up with back. His kisses sent fire to her body. It suddenly seemed like she wouldn't live if she let the fire escape her.  
  
She pushed him softly towards his bed. He didn't notice until they fell over on top of it. "Grace?" Eli questioned. Grace kissed him again, silencing his words. Eli kissed her back, his tongue meeting up with hers. Grace used her hands to pull his shirt up, exposing his firm stomach.  
  
"Grace," Eli pulled away from her.  
  
"I need you," Grace whispered.  
  
Eli looked at her and Grace saw his hands tremble. "Are you sure? We don't have to.."  
  
"I want to." Grace assured him, but then looked away. "I've never.."  
  
"Oh," Eli smiled, "Not even with him?"  
  
Grace jerked at the mention of Augustus. "No." She looked at Eli, he was so handsome and he made her feel so good. This was the right thing to do, right? Or was she only trying to forget about Augustus by making love to Eli? Grace pushed that thought away. This had nothing to do with Augustus, this was only about her and Eli. She loved Eli, she did. "I want to Eli, I'm sure."  
  
"I love you, Grace." Eli said, moving closer.  
  
"I love you too," Grace reached for his shirt and this time he let her take it off. She reached down and pulled her own shirt off, feeling embarrassed, but happy at the same time. Eli took her into his arms and they kissed again. Grace felt intoxicated by his slow kisses. She let Eli slowly move on top of her. He reached for the zipper on her jeans. Once again, he stopped.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes, yes!" Grace insisted and she stood up and took off her pants. She stood there, in her underwear, and looked at him on his bed in his boxers. She smiled and joined him on the bed. They moved under the blankets.  
  
* * * 


	18. I had to talk to you

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Hey, thanks for reading and all the reviews! Don't you all worry out there, things aren't exactly over for Grace and Dimitri, nor are they for Grace and Eli. That's the fun of having two guys and a girl.. there's lots of drama! And since I love Grace and Dmitri together and also love Grace and Eli together, even I don't know which way I'm going to go!!!  
  
Chapter 18// I had to talk to you  
  
Eli leaned closer to Grace on the couch. Grace smiled at him and quickly checked the living room for any witnesses. They were alone. Grace leaned and they kissed briefly. Footsteps descended the staircase and they reluctantly pulled apart. They turned back to the television.  
  
"What are you watching?" Jessie asked.  
  
"Uh, Animal planet," Eli provided after a pause.  
  
"Oh, what show is on?" Jessie came closer to where they sat.  
  
Eli and Grace looked at each other, waiting for one of them to come up with the answer. On the TV, the commercials ended and the show came back on. Eli looked at the screen and then his sister, "Pet Psychic."  
  
"Oh," Jessie began to sit down next to Eli and Grace, but the telephone rang and she bounded off after it. "That's probably Katie!" Grace heard her calling to Lily.  
  
Eli turned to her again, but they didn't dare sneak another kiss. Instead he reached out and took her hand. They smiled at each other and Grace opened her mouth to speak, but Jessie came back in the room, phone against her ear. They pulled their hands apart and watched as Jessie continued through the room and up the stairs, talking excitedly. Eli reached for her hand again.  
  
"Hey Grace?" Lily called and they pulled apart.  
  
"Yeah, mom?" Grace called back. Lily entered the living room with a bowl of dough in her hands.  
  
"What sounds better: chocolate chip cookies or chocolate chip and almond cookies?"  
  
"I don't know," Grace said with a shrug, "Does it matter?"  
  
"Hmm, maybe chocolate chip and peanut butter chip cookies?"  
  
"Yeah, that sounds good," Eli said.  
  
Lily smiled, satisfied. She turned to go back to the kitchen when the front doorbell rung. She set her bowl of dough on the end table next to the couch and went to answer it.  
  
Grace and Eli looked at each other and smiled. Grace heard her mother's words as she stared into Eli's eyes.  
  
"Hi," Her mother greeted the guest, "It's good to see you again.. How are you?.. That's good.. Yeah, hold on.. Grace!"  
  
Grace's eyes widened in surprise and she got up. She didn't know who would be coming to her house on a Sunday. She walked into the entrance hall and her mouth dropped. "Hi, Mr. Dimitri."  
  
Augustus stood there next to her mother, looking out of place and uncomfortable. He was wearing a long dark gray coat and his red hair was tousled slightly from the wind. He gave Grace a smile as he saw her and she was too shocked to smile back. "I had to talk to you, Grace."  
  
Lily smiled, and took Augustus' coat from him, "Isn't that nice? Most teachers don't care enough about their students to see them outside of school."  
  
Grace was speechless. She could tell by the look in Augustus' eyes that he wasn't here to talk about her last quiz grade or even her short stories. No, he was here to talk about something more important. And, even worse, Grace heard Eli getting up from the couch. Pretty soon he'd come into the hall and see Augustus here.  
  
"Yeah, well, it was important to talk to Grace." Augustus said to Lily.  
  
Lily nodded, "Well, why don't the two of you go in the living room, oh wait Eli was watching TV in there. You should just go on up to Grace's room. It would probably be the quietest place in the house."  
  
Grace almost laughed at her mother's suggestion. If her mother knew about Mr. Dimitri's relationship with her, Grace doubted she would send him into her room, behind closed doors. Grace probably would have loved to take Augustus up into her room alone only a few weeks ago, but things had changed. Especially after yesterday, with Eli.  
  
"No, uh, nothing good was on anyways," Eli said from behind them, "They can talk in the living room." Grace saw the confused and angry expression on Eli's face that he was trying to hide. She knew he was wondering what Mr. Dimitri was doing here. And Grace knew Eli didn't like the idea of her and Augustus up in her room.  
  
"Okay," Lily smiled at Augustus, "Let me just get my dough from the living room and then you two can talk. Grace reluctantly followed her mother into the living room. She felt the presence of Augustus just steps behind her, she could even the musky sweet cologne he wore. The one she loved.  
  
Lily picked up her bowl of dough and Grace sat uncomfortably in the easy chair as Augustus sat on the couch. Lily exited the living room and Grace heard the door to the garage slam shut. Eli.. Grace thought with unease. She looked at Augustus questioningly. "Why are you here?"  
  
Augustus sighed, "I know I shouldn't have come here, but I've been doing a lot of things I shouldn't be doing lately. I never wanted to hurt you Grace. I was just so afraid of getting hurt myself, that I pushed you away. I made a mistake. I never meant those words I said. I still love you."  
  
"Oh," Grace said, merely because she couldn't think of anything else to say. How could this be happening? How could the man she had loved so much, be telling her he made a mistake? Grace knew she had never gotten fully over Augustus, even after all that happened yesterday with Eli. And now here Augustus was, telling her he still loved her. Did that change anything? She couldn't let it change anything. She loved Eli, she did. She couldn't hurt him and she knew this would. She couldn't let anything Augustus said change things. He was too late and she had given herself to Eli. She couldn't go back now.  
  
"I think we should go ahead and try to tell your mother, but just your mother, if that's what you want," Augustus added. "She might understand. She might not. But if that's what I have to do to be with you, then I will, Grace. I will."  
  
Grace shook her head. Augustus didn't understand. He didn't know that she was with Eli now. But she didn't want to say the words aloud. She didn't want to hurt him. Instead, she thought of yesterday, when she had tried to see him. Just yesterday, she had been wanted to be with him. She had wanted him to take her back. But, instead she had seen him with that blond woman. She had seen them kiss. And then she had come home and she had gone to Eli and they had made love. Grace wondered now if she hadn't wanted to have sex with Eli just to spite Augustus. Maybe, but Grace didn't believe that. She thought that that might have been a tiny reason in the back of her head, but when she had told Eli she loved him, she had meant it.  
  
"Grace?" Augustus asked, leaning towards her. He looked confused to why she wasn't happy about all this. "I thought that you'd.."  
  
Grace interrupted him, "What about that woman I saw you with yesterday?"  
  
"What woman?" Augustus asked in surprise.  
  
"That pretty blond one. I came to see you and instead saw you and her. I saw you kiss her!"  
  
"What?" Augustus laughed, "Blond, wearing a black dress and a coat?"  
  
"Yes!" Grace angrily gripped the arms of the chair.  
  
"Grace, that was April, my sister. I might have kissed her on the cheek, but that was all." Augustus smiled, amused.  
  
Grace lowered her eyes, thinking about exactly what she saw. She had seen Augustus lean in and she had assumed they had kissed on the lips, because the woman's- April's- hair had fell over their faces. Grace looked back up at Augustus, "Oh, I didn't realize."  
  
"Oh, Grace," Augustus said, his voice heavy with love. "Now that we got that settled, why don't we try and tell your mother? Right now."  
  
Grace gasped, "No, we can't!"  
  
"Why not? I thought this was what you wanted?"  
  
Grace turned her head from his stare. She didn't know how to say it. She didn't know how she could crush him with the news she was with Eli. Finally, she sighed, "It was what I wanted, but things changed."  
  
"What changed?" Augustus asked, "Did you decide you don't want to tell her?"  
  
Grace looked at him, it was so hard, "No, it's not about that. Augustus, I.. I.. Eli and I.."  
  
At the mention of Eli's name, Augustus began shaking his head, "No, no, no. Grace, no, please, no. Don't tell me you and him.."  
  
"We're together now, I'm sorry." Grace watched as Augustus stood up, "Wait!"  
  
Augustus shook his head, "No, I was stupid. I pushed you away and expected you'd still be waiting for me when I decided I still wanted you. I was stupid! Of course you and him are together now. You two make sense together, more sense than you and I could ever make together. And you can tell your mother about him! Even though he's your stepbrother, she'd probably be more accepting of you and him than of you and me. I hope he makes you happy, Grace. You deserve happiness."  
  
Grace watched him go, her eyes lined with tears. She heard him put his coat on and the door quietly shut. Grace sighed unhappily, and hurried upstairs before her mother could see crying. She knew she shouldn't be crying, she had decided yesterday that things were over with them, and she had moved on to Eli. But she couldn't help it and seeing the sadness on Augustus' face as he left hurt her to the core. Grace knew she should go to Eli and talk to him. She knew he was angry about Augustus being here. But Grace couldn't be the good girlfriend to Eli right now. Right now all she wanted was to be alone.  
  
* * * 


	19. I'm so confused

~A Once and Again series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Wow, this story just keeps on going! Chapter 19 already! Thanks for reading!  
  
Chapter 19// I'm so confused  
  
Grace knew Eli was mad at her. She had been avoiding him ever since Augustus had come to the house yesterday afternoon. She couldn't help it. She was so confused and she was afraid that maybe she had only slept with Eli because she had been upset about Augustus. She knew she loved him, but she knew she still loved Augustus. And yesterday Augustus had said he wanted her back, but it had been too late. She was with Eli now.. only she was avoiding him. She couldn't face his questions and she was afraid that she'd realize she had made a mistake being with him. She hoped that wasn't true, but all she could think about was Augustus and how he had been willing to tell her mother about them, even if that meant that Lily might freak and forbid him to see Grace, just so he could have a chance to be with her. Augustus still loved her, he hadn't meant what he had said to her in the kitchen the day they had broken up. Grace didn't know how to deal with that and deal with Eli. So, she had avoided Eli, and was still avoiding him. She waited until she heard his car drive away this morning as he left for work at Booklovers before she went downstairs to leave for school, even though she was ready and ended up sitting on her bed for twenty minutes, waiting.  
  
"Grace!" Her mother called out, "I'm leaving now, you better hurry-- " Lily stopped shouting as Grace finally appeared in the kitchen. "Running late this morning?" Lily asked as she shoved a bagel at her daughter.  
  
Grace took the bagel and nodded, "Yeah."  
  
"Come on, or we'll be late!" Lily ordered and they headed out to the car.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace had been dreading fifth hour and also looking forward to it. She wanted to see Augustus, she wanted to talk to him, to ask him more questions. She didn't know exactly what those questions would be or what she'd say, all she knew was that she wanted to talk to him so bad. She knew she'd have to wait till after class until she'd get a chance to speak to him alone, though.  
  
Grace entered the room and smiled at Mr. Dimitri as she made her way to her seat. He didn't smile back, but Grace chalked that up to him trying to hide their relationship.. wait, did she really just think that? Did she really just think about them having a relationship when they had broken up? Was she being hopeful? And what about Eli? At the thought of Eli, Grace's smile fell and her stomach turned over. She shouldn't be doing this! She shouldn't be thinking about Augustus and remembering each kiss they had shared. And she shouldn't try to talk with Augustus alone. It was too dangerous right now. She knew one small step and she could fall back on Augustus' side of the fence.  
  
It wasn't right to Eli that she walked the fence, instead of being safely on his side. She should have talked to him yesterday; she should have secured her position as his girlfriend and not have spent the night thinking about if the grass was greener on the other side. She was a bad person. She was being cruel to Eli. And the worse thing was no matter how many times she considered that, she knew she was still going to try to talk to Augustus. She just had to, or her head would burst. Where the talk would lead.. she didn't know.  
  
Grace listened to Augustus's words as he talked about the poems they had read. She jotted down notes, but her mind wasn't there. She was waiting for the bell to ring, waiting for her chance to talk to him.  
  
Finally the bell did ring and Grace slowly packed up her stuff, waiting for the last person to leave the room. "Augustus?"  
  
"Grace?" Augustus looked up in surprise, "You shouldn't call me that, not here."  
  
"I know," Grace said softly. She moved closer to him, knowing her time with him was limited. Any moment a student could walk in wanting help on their homework or something. Augustus stared at her, his green eyes looking blue under these lights.  
  
"What is it, Grace?" He asked in a teacherly voice.  
  
Grace sighed, "I don't know. I'm so confused. I.. Ever since you came to my house yesterday, I can't stop thinking about you and me. I still.."  
  
"Grace, you can't do this." Augustus said firmly.  
  
"What?" Grace asked in surprise. She thought he'd be happy to hear she was still thinking about him. That maybe she still wanted him. That maybe she still loved him.  
  
"Grace, we can't do this. We can't play this game anymore. We've run out of chances. There is no future for us. I meant what I said about wanting you to be happy. And I think you'd be happiest with him."  
  
Grace shook her head, "No, you don't mean that. You're only pretending again, because you're hurt. I'm sorry I hurt you. Don't we have a chance? Can't you just give us a chance?"  
  
"Oh, Grace, I wished I could. I still love you and I think I always will, but we don't belong together. I can't, Grace. I just want you to be happy. I know I won't make you happy." Augustus sighed.  
  
"But you will! You did make me happy! I loved being with you. I love you, I still do. No matter what happened with Eli, I still loved you." Grace said.  
  
"Grace, don't. I know you love Eli too." Augustus insisted.  
  
"Yeah, I love him, but.."  
  
Augustus cut her off, "No, buts. It's not right for you to do this to him. Did you think about that?"  
  
"Of course I did!" Grace told him.  
  
"No, Grace. I don't think you thought about it enough. You love him, so don't hurt him. You don't need me, you only think you do. You may love me, but that's something you can put away, like putting old furniture in the attic. You should be with Eli. I'm no good for you." Augustus turned away.  
  
"No, that's not true!" Grace argued. "Please don't do this."  
  
"I'm sorry, Grace," Augustus looked deeply at her and then picked up his briefcase and exited the classroom.  
  
Grace watched him go, for the second time in two days and wondered what went wrong. How did things end up like this? And she realized it was Eli. Eli was the deciding factor that made Augustus change his mind about the two of them. Augustus thought she'd be happiest with Eli and that was noble of him and everything, but Grace didn't know if it was true. All she knew was that she had to go back to her house and that she couldn't avoid Eli forever. She had to talk to talk to him. But she didn't know what she would say. Would Eli hate her if she told him that she tried to get back with Augustus? Yes, that was the only answer. But could she.. would she lie to Eli? 


	20. She never told me

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Hmm, lets see if I can do my third chapter in 24 hours! Lalalala.. chapter twenty is on its way.  
  
Chapter 20// She never told me  
  
  
  
Grace knocked at Eli's door after school that day. She waited. Finally the door swung open and almost swung shut again as Eli saw who it was. Grace put a hand out, stopping the door from shutting. Eli sighed and turned away, walking further into his room. Grace let herself in and closed the door behind her. "E?" She asked nervously.  
  
Eli spun around, "Don't call me that! Only people who love me call me that."  
  
Grace shook her head, "But, E, I do love you."  
  
Eli laughed harshly, "You know what, Gracie. For some reason I don't believe that."  
  
Grace cringed at him calling her Gracie. He knew she hated that nickname her mother used for her. "It's true. Why wouldn't it be true?"  
  
"Hmm, maybe because you're already in love with Mr. Dimitri! You loved him before I came into your picture and for a brief moment I thought you could love me, but now you've gone back to him!" Eli said angrily.  
  
"But, I'm not back with him, Eli! I'm here with you! I love you," Grace ran on the edge of the true facts. She wanted to avoid lying to him as much as she could. She definitely didn't want to tell him of her humiliating attempt to get back with Augustus, only to be denied. "Doesn't that count for anything? Or are you just going to write me off? Are you just going to stop trusting me? I'm telling you the truth: I love you."  
  
"Maybe you do," Eli nodded his head, "Maybe. But so what if you love me and still love him? What good is our relationship going to be if you keep seeing him and keep thinking about him and keep him in your heart?"  
  
"He came to see me yesterday! It wasn't my fault. I didn't know he was coming!" Grace insisted.  
  
"Yeah, so what? You're still going to see him every day at school. How long before you go running back to him?"  
  
Grace's face flushed, as she knew she had already went running back to Augustus, only he didn't want her. He thought she should be with Eli. Grace wanted to be with Eli. She felt stupid for going back to him. And she knew she couldn't tell Eli about it, or he'd for sure not want her. Grace knew it was time for lying, but she still hoped she could skirt by with borderline truths, holding back most of the information. "Eli, I won't do that!" 'Anymore' she added silently and thought for a moment and added 'hopefully'.  
  
"Grace, I want to trust you," Eli said, "But it's hard. I'm so afraid that you'll realize he is the better man for you and go back to him. Grace, I'm no good for you."  
  
Those were the same words Augustus had spoken to her earlier: I'm no good for you. But both men had to be lying or misled. It couldn't be that they were both bad for her, Grace wouldn't even consider that idea. It had to be that they were both good for her, only they both were afraid. But Augustus had already turned her away; she wasn't going to let Eli do the same.  
  
"E, how can you say that? After what we did together? How can you say you love me and not even give us a fighting chance? I love you and I promise that I won't cheat on you or anything like that. Please, just you have to realize how what we have is so wonderful. I think we'll both be good for each other. What do you say?" Grace smiled up at him.  
  
"I say I love you too much not to give us another shot," Eli said back, smiling his sweet half smile. "But it hurts knowing you'll be seeing this guy every weekday."  
  
Grace shook her head, "No, you're wrong. My class with him was only a one-semester course. After winter break, I'm done." Grace said this with a tinge of regret. No matter what had happened between her and Augustus, he was still the best teacher she had ever had. She had planned on taking another class with him next year, her senior year, but it was likely that wouldn't be happening now. Heck, Grace would be lucky if she saw him in the hallway every once and a while. Maybe that would be for the best. Maybe then she could truly give Eli her all.  
  
"Really? That's great." Eli pulled her into him. They kissed. His strong hands running up her back and her long fingers entangled in his hair. Their lips met in a sweet, happy kiss. The kiss of getting back together. Their problems had been mended, or so they both hoped. They eagerly moved to the bed.  
  
* * *  
  
Jessie came down the steps after having checked Grace's room and found Zoe in the kitchen, "Where's Grace?"  
  
Zoe shrugged from her seat at the table, "She came home an hour ago and I haven't seen her since. What's your favorite color?"  
  
Jessie paused, "My what?"  
  
"Your favorite color? I'm taking a survey." Zoe explained. She looked up with her pencil posed over the paper, ready to write down the answer.  
  
Jessie shrugged, "I don't know.. Blue?"  
  
Zoe sighed, "I can't write that down! Everyone's favorite color is blue! Be more specific."  
  
"Um, baby blue?" Jessie said hesitantly.  
  
Zoe sighed again, "Robin's egg blue?"  
  
"Yeah, sure," Jessie agreed.  
  
Zoe wrote it down. Then she looked up again, "I think Grace may have went to the garage."  
  
"To Eli's?" Jessie asked curiously.  
  
Zoe just muttered, "Uh huh." She was busy writing and making marks on her paper. Jessie headed for the garage. Jessie hoped this meant the two of them were dating. She thought they made a cute couple. At first she hadn't liked it. When they had first started flirting She had been annoyed. She had been afraid that Grace was going to steal her brother away from her, but once she saw just how much Eli truly cared for Grace, she had been gunning for the two. And now that Grace had dropped her mystery guy, it looked like the two of them were a couple!  
  
Jessie paused with her hand raised above the door to Eli's room, ready to knock. Then she stopped herself. Instead she listened. It was a good thing she had. Coming from the room was slow ballad-type music (definitely not Eli's typical music) and the just barely audible sounds of..  
  
"Ugh!" Jessie whispered, backing away from the door as if it were on fire. It was a good thing she hadn't knocked, or worse.. entered without knocking. This was just gross. She wanted them to be a couple, but she hadn't wanted to hear that. Jessie turned, ready to go back upstairs. Maybe she'd call Katie. Katie would get a kick of what she had just heard.  
  
"Is Grace in there?"  
  
Jessie's eyes widened as she saw Zoe approaching the door to the garage apartment. "No!"  
  
"She's not?" Zoe asked. She was still holding her pencil and paper, "Is Eli in there? I bet he's got an interesting favorite color."  
  
"No," Jessie glanced at the door and began to herd Zoe back into the kitchen. "Neither one of them was there."  
  
"Oh, I wonder.." Zoe stopped as she heard the front doorbell ring. Zoe ran to answer it. Jessie followed. It was Katie.  
  
"Hey, I was just thinking about calling you!" Jessie said happily. Katie smiled and shrugged out of her oversized coat.  
  
"What's your favorite color?" Zoe asked Katie.  
  
"Oh, Zoe!" Jessie complained, but Katie smiled good-naturedly.  
  
"Uh, I'd have to say mint ice-cream green."  
  
Zoe smiled, pleased with the answer and promptly jotted it down. She gave Jessie a look as if to say 'At least some people are interesting' and hurried away to the kitchen. Jessie grabbed Katie's hand and they went up to her attic bedroom.  
  
* * *  
  
Some time later Jessie brought it up, "You won't believe what I heard earlier."  
  
Katie grinned, "Oh, sounds juicy, what? Your dad and Grace's mom having sex? Them calling each other Slave boy and Mistress of Pain and.."  
  
"No! Yuck!" Jessie grimaced, and laughed. "But close.. I heard Grace and Eli in the garage."  
  
"Wow! Really?" Katie's eyes widened.  
  
Katie looked more shocked than Jessie expected, "Yeah.. why?"  
  
"Well, I just thought Grace was with someone else.." Katie shrugged, ready to drop the topic.  
  
"Oh, yeah, her 'mystery guy'. But she said she broke up with him, and so.."  
  
"Jessie!" Katie interrupted her, "You do know who Grace was dating, don't you?"  
  
"No, she never told me."  
  
"Oh my god!" Katie smiled, "I can't believe you didn't know! I would have told you if I knew you didn't know."  
  
"Wait, you know?" Jessie asked in surprise.  
  
"Yeah, it came out accidentally, sort-of. I wasn't supposed to know exactly, it just came out." Katie shrugged.  
  
"Well, tell me, already!" Jessie insisted.  
  
"Jessie, it was Mr. Dmitri." Katie said finally.  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
* * * 


	21. But that's over

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Hey, thanks everyone for the encouraging comments! I don't know where the story will head exactly. I just hope you all will like it! Thanks so much! Lots of love ~ Taintedlove.  
  
Chapter 21//But that's over  
  
Grace happily ascended the stairs. She was about to enter into her room her Jessie's voice called out to her.  
  
"Grace!"  
  
Grace continued down the hall, and saw Jessie sitting on the stairs that led up to the attic. She smiled at her stepsister. "Oh, hi, Jessie. What is it?"  
  
Jessie didn't smile at back at her, just stood up and asked, "Can we talk in my room?"  
  
"Sure," Grace said, shrugging. She followed Jessie up the stairs, wondering what she had done to make Jessie angry at her this time. Grace didn't really care if Jessie was mad at her though, she was still reeling from her time with Eli alone in his garage.  
  
Jessie sat on the edge of her bed and waited for Grace to sit. Grace pulled out the desk chair and sat down. They looked at each other. Finally Jessie said, "I know."  
  
Grace raised her eyebrows in confusion, "About what?"  
  
"About you and.." Jessie began.  
  
"Oh! About me and Eli. Yeah, we're together now," Grace said with a smile. She waited for Jessie to smile and be excited, since she was always telling Grace that she and Eli should be together. But Jessie just sat there, stoned face.  
  
"No.. I mean I know about that, but I also know about you and Mr. Dmitri," Jessie explained.  
  
"Oh," Grace muttered. She paused and waited for Jessie to say exactly what she knew.  
  
"I know you were dating him before you got with Eli-Katie told me," Jessie shook her head, "Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"Jessie, I'm sorry. It's not exactly the kind of information you go around telling people. Katie only found out because she was there when Mr. Dimitri called me." Grace sighed, her happy bubble deflating. She didn't want to talk about this. She just wanted to think about Eli and reminisce. But no matter how hard she tried to avoid thinking or talking about Augustus, it always happened.  
  
"Katie said he told you he loved you!" Jessie said.  
  
"Yeah, so?" Grace tried to back out of this conversation. She looked towards the door. Maybe she should just run for it.  
  
"So he loved you and you loved him?" Jessie asked. She looked intently at Grace and waited for an answer.  
  
"Yeah, I loved him. But that's over." Grace insisted.  
  
"How can you go from loving Mr. Dimitri one day to sleeping with Eli the next?!"  
  
Grace gasped. She didn't realize Jessie knew about that. Grace didn't even want to know how Jessie had found that out. "Jessie, it's not like that!"  
  
"Isn't it? You loved Mr. Dimitri.. you carried on this secret relationship with him and now suddenly you've changed your mind and you think you love Eli?" Jessie's eyes sparked with anger.  
  
"Jessie, I do love Eli, I do. You don't know everything. You don't understand. I'm with Eli now and he's the one I love!" Grace realized she was shouting and lowered her voice, "Can't you understand that?"  
  
Jessie shook her head, "No, Grace, I can't. But I do know Eli is happy with you. So, just don't hurt him, ok? As long as you're with Eli you have to forget completely about Mr. Dimitri. Otherwise, you'll just end up hurting Eli. And I'm not going to let you do that to my brother!"  
  
"I won't hurt him, Jessie! I promise I won't." Grace forced the words out. She knew it was what Jessie wanted to hear. But for her it was just another promise she didn't know if she'd be able to keep. She wanted to keep it. She didn't want to hurt Eli, but in the end she just might in spite of all her promises and good intentions. "I'm going to go." Grace stood up, took one last look at Jessie who was deep in thought, and left the attic. Grace knew if she did end up hurting Eli, she'd also be hurting Jessie. Jessie wanted the best for her brother, and Grace just hoped she could be that.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace entered Mr. Dimitri's classroom that last day before winter break with dread. This would be her last class with him. The course would be over and she'd start on her new schedule when she came back after break. It hurt. Grace knew it shouldn't hurt, but it still did. Grace knew she should be happy that she wasn't going to be seeing Augustus every day from now on. She should take it as a chance to finally rid her thoughts of Augustus all together. But Grace didn't know if she could do that. She knew there would always be some part of her that still belonged to her first real love. But now she was with Eli and she should be glad to be free of having to see Augustus every weekday. But she just wasn't glad. She felt a mix of dread, terror and sadness.  
  
Grace felt like this might mean the end of her and Augustus forever. Oh, she knew she'd probably see him in the halls every once and a while, but would it be the same? Augustus had been more than her boyfriend, he had been a teacher, a mentor and most of all a friend. Grace didn't want to lose that forever. She wished she and Augustus could at least still be friends, but Grace knew that could never happen. Eli wouldn't like it for one, and Grace knew it would be too tempting for her. That she could too easily fall back on the other side of the fence. So, they couldn't be friends. And now after this semester ended, Grace knew he wouldn't even be her teacher anymore. And he had been such a great teacher. She was losing him as all these other things, and it hurt.  
  
"Thank you all for being such a great class this semester. Hopefully most of you got good grades, and more important hopefully, you'll all take something from this course that can be used again. Hopefully, you all learned something," Augustus said at the end of the class. Grace forced back tears: it was truly the end.  
  
"Remember, I teach Great Poets in the twenty century course along with my other English courses," Augustus added, "I would really love to see you all in it next year. And.." The bell rung, "Class is dismissed! Have a wonderful break everyone and keep up the good work in your classes!"  
  
The students stayed sitting. Grace looked around in surprise. Only Tad had risen. He went to Mr. Dimitri's desk and handed him a wrapped present. "Mr. Dimitri, on behalf of the entire class, we would like to give you this as a gesture of our thanks to you. Everyone chipped in."  
  
Grace's face flushed and she dropped her head. She hadn't chipped in! She would have, but she didn't know about it! Grace looked up again and saw Mr. Dimitri holding a leather-bound journal. "We figured that since you've always made us write in our journals for you, it's about time you had your own journal to read," Tad explained and Mr. Dimitri looked happily at the present.  
  
"It's wonderful. Thanks to everyone!" Mr. Dimitri said and that seemed to be the key words as everyone rose from their seats and began to leave. Some stopped to talk with Mr. Dimitri. Grace took one glance at the crowd around him and left. She saw Katie walking ahead of her in the hall.  
  
"Katie!"  
  
Katie turned and smiled, "Hi Grace."  
  
"How come nobody told me about the present? I would have chipped in." Grace told her.  
  
"Oh," Katie shrugged, "That was my fault. I know that.." Katie lowered her voice, "That you and him broke up. And that you're with Eli now. I just figured that you wouldn't want to be a part of it. But, don't worry, everyone thinks you chipped in-I gave them the money for your share."  
  
"Oh, thanks," Grace said dully. She looked back in the direction she just came from, "I think I forgot something.."  
  
Grace looked at Katie, but saw she wasn't buying it. "Is it really a good idea you talk to him, Grace?"  
  
"No, I don't think it is, but I have to! I just have to. Just don't tell Jessie, ok?" Grace pleaded, knowing it was a lot to ask.  
  
Katie just smiled, "Tell her what? That you forgot something?"  
  
"Thanks!" Grace turned and headed back to Mr. Dimitri's classroom. She knew she shouldn't go talk to him, but she had to. She felt drawn to him, like a magnet. Besides, just talking to him couldn't hurt anything, could it?  
  
* * * 


	22. Still in my heart

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter 22// Still in my heart  
  
Grace paused at his door. Augustus was alone. Grace watched him as he organized stacks of papers. Finally he realized he wasn't alone and looked up. "Grace?"  
  
Grace smiled and walked into the classroom, "Hi." Augustus looked nervous and uneasy. Grace thought it was cute, but pushed that thought away. She had to be careful about what she said. She couldn't make this time be a repeat of last time, when she practically begged Augustus to take her back even though she was with Eli. And now she still was with Eli, and she couldn't do anything that might put that at risk.  
  
"Was there something you wanted, Grace?" Augustus asked finally.  
  
"Uh, no, not really. I just wanted to talk." Grace edged closer to his desk.  
  
"Grace, I thought we settled this," Augustus said gently.  
  
"Oh, no, it's not about that.." Grace laughed uneasily, "Well, maybe a little. I just wanted to thank you for being such a great teacher, a great mentor, a great friend, and a great something more than friend."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"It hurts knowing that I won't be able to have any of those things again. You changed me, you changed my life. You changed the way I looked at the world, but now I feel guilty even being here talking to you." Grace looked up, judging his reaction. She continued on with more confidence, "You were a special part of my life, and not just because you and I were together, but because of everything you did for me. With the play, and class and with my short stories. You encouraged me, you believed in me. You made me a better person. I just wanted to thank you for that."  
  
Augustus nodded, "Okay."  
  
Grace smiled at his lost for words, "You're still in my heart. I will always love you. Nothing or no one can take that away from me. Just remember that, okay? Always know there is a woman out there somewhere that loves you. A woman who owes so much to you. Thank you."  
  
Augustus nodded, and began to open his mouth, but Katie's voice rang out in the hall, stopping him.  
  
"Jessie! Wait! Where are you going?" Katie was saying.  
  
Grace backed away from Augustus' desk, looking guiltily at the door. Sure enough Jessie appeared in it. And she didn't look too happy. Katie stood behind, shaking her head, as if to tell Grace she wasn't the one to blame for Jessie coming there. Grace turned and looked at Augustus one last time. "So long," She said quietly.  
  
Augustus nodded, and Grace walked out of the classroom.  
  
"Grace!" Jessie said angrily. "What were you doing?"  
  
Grace hurried down the hall to her locker as Jessie trailed after her. "Jessie, it was nothing!" She stopped at her locker and fumbled with the combination.  
  
"Don't you dare hurt Eli!" Jessie spat out at her, and then she allowed Katie to guide her away, down the hall. Grace watched them go, and then dropped her face against the cool metal of the locker and sighed.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace dropped her backpack onto the kitchen table with a grimace. Her mother smiled at her, "Happy for winter break?"  
  
Grace shrugged off the question and went to the fridge. She saw some cake that looked good, but instead shut the door with a groan.  
  
"Grace? Did you want something to eat? I could make you something?" Lily asked.  
  
Grace shook her head, and instead poured herself a glass of water and exited upstairs, where she'd be out of her mother's concerned stare.  
  
* * *  
  
"Have you noticed anything about Grace?" Lily asked Rick that night.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Well, a few weeks ago, she seemed so depressed and then she seemed happy and now she seems.." Lily paused, shrugging, "I just can't read her anymore. I don't know if she's sad or angry or annoyed or depressed or even happy. I can't tell what she is. She used to talk to me so much, but she never even talked to me about the guy she was dating. Or maybe still is dating. Why won't she talk to me?"  
  
"I don't know." Rick said.  
  
Lily shook her head, "What's happening to my daughter? I don't even know her anymore."  
  
* * *  
  
Jessie waited till most everyone was in bed and then snuck downstairs to see Eli. She first checked to make sure Grace was in her room, so she wouldn't be interrupting anything. Jessie was concerned for her brother. She didn't like the idea of Grace hurting him, because she wasn't over Mr. Dimitri. Jessie still couldn't believe Grace had been dating Mr. Dimitri before Eli. The man was like 40!  
  
Jessie knocked once, waited and then knocked twice in a row. It was their secret knock, although Jessie hadn't used it in a long time. Eli opened the door to her and let her in. He went over to the CD player and turned it down lower.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me that you and Grace are together?" Jessie asked, sitting on Eli's bed with him.  
  
"We haven't been together that long." Eli said in defense.  
  
"Still.." Jessie shook her head and looked around the room, "And how come no one told me that she was dating Mr. Dimitri."  
  
"Oh, so you know?" Eli said in surprise. Jessie nodded. "Well, it was sort of a secret."  
  
"But I'm your sister!" Jessie said.  
  
"Jessie, do you tell me about the guys you date?" Eli asked.  
  
"Uh," Jessie grimaced, "No, I don't. Maybe its time we did talk though, I kind of have something important to tell you."  
  
"I'm all ears," Eli said and waited.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace waited until the clock hit 11:30. Then she couldn't stand it anymore. She had to be with Eli. She slipped on her robe and slippers and eased down the steps. She got to his door and reached for the knob, but the sound of laughter stopped her. It was clearly Jessie's twinkling laughter she heard floating out from under the door. Grace sighed and reluctantly stepped away from the door and went back the way she had come. 


	23. Wait for santa

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter 23// Wait for Santa  
  
"Here."  
  
Grace looked down at what Eli was handing her. She smiled, "Eli! But it's not Christmas yet!"  
  
Eli shrugged and pushed the present into her hands. "So, I thought Christmas Eve would be even better. And that way no one else will see and find out that we're not just stepbrother and stepsister anymore."  
  
Grace nodded, and inwardly she frowned. She wanted to tell their family about the two of them. She just wasn't sure of how to bring it up to Eli. He kept sending her signals that he didn't want anyone to know. Grace hated the secrecy. She was aching to tell her mother. But Grace guessed she would just have to find the right time to bring it up to Eli and then they could tell everyone.  
  
"Well, aren't you going to open it?" Eli asked, breaking into her thoughts.  
  
"Oh, yeah," Grace said with a smile. She delicately pulled the shiny paper off the present. "Oh, Eli, it's nice."  
  
Eli grinned and shrugged, "I thought you'd like it."  
  
Grace held up the silver rose necklace. She immediately compared it favorite necklace, her shell necklace. The two of them were so different. Grace remembered how Augustus had told her the shell necklace was lovely. This necklace was lovely too, in a different way. This one was one was noticeably lovely while the other one had had its hidden beauty. Grace loved them both. She put the rose necklace on and enjoyed the feel of its weight against her neck. "Thanks Eli."  
  
Eli leaned and they kissed softly. Grace got up off her bed and went to her closet. "I had planned on giving this to you tomorrow, but I guess you will just have to get it now." She went back to him and handed him the present.  
  
Eli unwrapped it and Grace watched as he read the words. "Wow, Grace, you put all the best songs on here."  
  
Grace shrugged, "They are some of my favorite songs. Cynthia helped me burn it on her computer."  
  
Eli leaned and kissed her again. Grace smiled when they broke, "There's something else."  
  
"There is?"  
  
Grace nodded, "I haven't wrapped it yet, so.. You'll just have to wait for Santa to arrive tomorrow."  
  
Eli shook his head, "No, I can't wait. You're going to have to tell me. I think I know how to make you tell.." Eli raised his hands and advanced on her. Grace laughed and squirmed as Eli tickled her.  
  
"Stop!" Grace managed between laughs. Eli pinned her down with one hand and tickled her with the other.  
  
"Say uncle."  
  
"No!" Grace said, shaking her head, "I don't give up!" She wiggled away from him and grabbed her pillow. She used it as a shield, putting it up before her as Eli moved towards her. Eli backed her into the corner of her room. He looked down at her, and waited.  
  
"Admit defeat! I've got you cornered. You've got nowhere to go."  
  
Grace smiled slyly, "I've got a way out."  
  
"Oh, you do?" Eli leaned tighter against her and the pillow. "I think you've got nothing!"  
  
Grace shook her head, "I've got this.." She dropped the pillow and put her hands on both sides of Eli's face. She moved against him, taking up the space the pillow had just evacuated.  
  
"I like the way you think," Eli said before she leaned in for the kill.  
  
Grace brushed her lips lightly against his, teasing him. She pulled back, looking up into his eyes, "Say uncle."  
  
"Uncle," Eli groaned, and Grace really kissed him this time, her lips slow and lingering. He pushed her further in the corner and they let the wall hold them upright. Grace sank into the kisses, forgetting time and the whole world, only enjoying the pleasure of being in his arms. Eli's warm hands moved up under her shirt. Their lips stayed locked in their endless embrace. Grace felt such pure passion, such pure love. Her body tingled with excitement. She held Eli tighter.  
  
"Grace! Honey? We're going to decorate the tree and sing now!" Lily's voice said at Grace's door. They pulled apart quickly. Grace heard her mother turn the doorknob. Eli jumped down to the floor, letting Grace's bed shield him from the door.  
  
"Grace?" Lily opened the door. "What are you doing in the corner like that?"  
  
Grace felt Eli playfully tickling her feet and smiled. She kicked lightly at him, keeping her eyes on her mother. "Oh, nothing mom. I'll be down in one minute, okay?"  
  
"Alright," Lily agreed and began to shut the door, "Have you seen Eli lately?"  
  
"I'm sure he's around here somewhere." Grace said quickly. Her mother shut the door. Eli grabbed her legs and pulled her down on the floor with him.  
  
"One minute, huh?" Eli teased. "I don't think we can get much done in a minute."  
  
Grace rolled closer to him, "So that means I'm safe?"  
  
"Hell no," Eli grabbed her and pulled her on top of him. He ran his fingers through her cascading brown locks. "You're beautiful."  
  
"Shut up," Grace kissed him. "Come on. We've got to go decorate a tree."  
  
"And sing, don't forget." They stood up. Eli stopped her before they left her room and he reached out and tucked her rose necklace underneath her shirt. "We don't want them to ask about it. I'll go down first and then you, okay?"  
  
Grace nodded and watched him go. The pretty rose was tucked away, underneath the fabric of her shirt. No one was going to get to see how beautiful it was.  
  
* * *  
  
"Grace, you got a package today." Lily told her in the kitchen the day after Christmas.  
  
"I did?" Grace asked, her words sounding too loud in the quiet house. Rick was upstairs, taking a nap Grace believed, although Rick would never admit to it. Zoe was at her friend's house. And Jessie and Eli were at their grandparent's.  
  
"Yeah, it's on the table."  
  
Grace went to the table and picked up the large tan bulk envelope. She glanced at the handwriting and knew who it was from. She looked over at her mother who was busy trying to figure out all the buttons on her new coffee grinder/maker. Grace held the package against her chest and escaped upstairs to her room.  
  
The CD she had made Eli was still on her desk. She and Eli hadn't gotten anymore alone time after they had gone down to decorate the tree. She had never gotten to give him his other present before he had left to go to his mother's. She looked towards her closet where the cologne was in still sitting in its bag. She had smelled it in the store and it had been so perfect. It was sweet and musky and it made her feet tingle. Something about that scent.. Grace hadn't been planning on buying Eli cologne, but she hadn't wanted to leave it behind in the store. Something about it had just called to her.  
  
Grace looked away from the closet, away from the unwrapped cologne and at the package in her hands. It was from Augustus. Grace couldn't imagine what it was. It was heavy, too heavy to just be papers. Grace stared at the tan package a little while longer and finally tore at the edge. She tore quickly, and it was good thing it wasn't a stack of papers, because in her frantic hurry she might have ripped them. It was a book and a small square of paper. The paper simply read: 'Merry Christmas from Santa' in Augustus' familiar script.  
  
Grace's fingers swept over the leather-bound book. It looked old and worn. There was no title on the front and so Grace looked at the side binding to see what it was. Love is Never Lost - a collection by William Timor Timonen. Grace had never heard of it. She opened the book delicately. The first page divulged more information. It was a collection of poetry about love. The second page had the author and title again. The third page was blank, except for the small delicate handwriting on the bottom.  
  
Grace read the words over and over, smiling. Augustus had written her an inscription.  
  
Grace,  
  
This book is one of my favorites  
  
It means everything  
  
Love always Augustus  
  
'It means everything.' 'Love always.' Grace reread the words again and again. She looked at the title of the book again: Love is Never Lost.  
  
* * * 


	24. Give it time

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
As always, thanks for reading! And some of you might have caught my mistake in the last chapter. I had said that Eli and Jessie were at Karen's.. forgetting that I had killed her off. Opps! Lol, I went back and changed it to say they went to their grandparent's, lol.  
  
Chapter 24// Give it time  
  
"Move over! You're suffocating me!" Zoe complained.  
  
Grace purposely leaned against her little sister even further.  
  
"Mom!" Zoe squealed underneath Grace's shoulder. Grace laughed and moved back to the middle of the couch. Zoe was on one side of her and Eli was on the other. Grace wanted to lie back against Eli's shoulder, but she couldn't, not with the whole family here. Instead Grace looked at Eli and they shared a look of understanding.  
  
"What movie were we going to watch?" Rick asked from one of the arm chairs. Lily entered from the kitchen, bowls of popcorn in her hands.  
  
"Its a wonderful life," Lily told him.  
  
"But Christmas was three days ago!" Zoe said.  
  
"Well, I wanted us to watch it earlier, but we've all been too busy. But, it's a good movie, no matter what day we watch it on." Lily passed out the popcorn bowls.  
  
Grace munched on a handful of popcorn, "Do we all have to watch it? I have other stuff I want to do." Grace glanced at Eli. He smiled.  
  
"Yeah, me too."  
  
Lily shook her head, "Come on, it's a good movie, and it would be nice to have a family tradition that we all do together."  
  
Grace shrugged, "All right." Eli agreed too.  
  
Lily went to put the tape in the VCR and stopped, "Where's Jessie?"  
  
"Jessie!" Rick called from his seat. He was answered by footsteps on the stairs.  
  
"We're going to watch Its a wonderful life," Rick told his daughter as she entered the living room. He noticed Katie behind her, "Oh, hi, Katie, join us."  
  
"Oh, I've already watched it like three times this week," Katie said, helping herself to some popcorn. "I'm going to go," She said to Jessie.  
  
Jessie shook her head, and turned to Katie, "No. I think it's time."  
  
"Now?" Katie asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Katie shrugged, "Alright." Jessie smiled at her and took Katie's hand.  
  
"We've got something important to tell you," Jessie began.  
  
* * *  
  
"Wow," Grace said later in Eli's room as they laid together on his bed. "I can't believe they just came out like that and told everyone that they were a couple. Did you see the look on my mother's face?"  
  
Eli laughed, "No, I was too busy watching my father try to remain calm. I don't think either of them even suspected it."  
  
Grace nodded, "They were shocked. Yeah, well, I guess the whole movie three days after Christmas tradition is over. I could tell my mother was just waiting until she and Rick could go upstairs and talk about it." Grace said, commenting on how everyone sort of just dispersed after Jessie finished her speech and after Katie had left.  
  
"Who wants to see Its a wonderful life for the millionth time anyways," Eli said and kissed her lightly on her neck. "I'd rather be here, with you."  
  
"I think everyone is going to accept Jessie and Katie eventually, don't you?" Grace asked, ignoring his kisses.  
  
"I guess so."  
  
"And they were so brave for telling everyone when they didn't know how they would take it."  
  
"Yeah, they were."  
  
"So, don't you think we could be that brave? Don't you think we should tell everyone?" Grace asked, and Eli drew away from her.  
  
"Grace."  
  
"Eli, I hate lying to them! I hate this secrecy. I just want to tell everyone. If Jessie and Katie could do it, then why can't we?" Grace asked, sitting up, so she could see Eli's reactions better.  
  
"We can't tell them, Grace," Eli insisted.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Eli sat up with her. "It's too soon. We just got together and everyone is still dealing with Jessie and Katie. Why burden them with this too?"  
  
"You think it's a burden?"  
  
"I didn't.. I don't know, Grace. I know they aren't just going to accept us with open arms. I mean, what parent wants to say, 'oh, yeah my stepson is dating my daughter'. It's a big thing to throw on them. I say we just give it time, let them deal with Jessie and Katie's relationship before we tell them about ours." Eli looked into her eyes, "Are you okay with that?"  
  
"Yeah," Grace reluctantly agreed. She leaned in for a kiss, but a knock sounded on Eli's door.  
  
Eli went to answer it. It was Jessie, she was crying. Eli turned back to Grace and she understood. She left the garage, leaving Eli to comfort his sister.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace hadn't meant to take out the book, but as soon as she entered her room, she seemed drawn to it. She closed her door guiltily, shutting out the soft mumbled sound of her mother and Rick talking in their room. She went to her bed and reached under the pillow for the book. Her fingers grasped the cool leather with relief. She looked at the title again: Love is Never Lost: a collection by William Timor Timonen.  
  
She sat on her bed and opened the book, reading Augustus' inscription once again.  
  
Grace,  
  
This book is one of my favorites  
  
It means everything  
  
Love always Augustus  
  
Grace opened the book further and read the beautiful poetry poem by poem; page by page; word by word.  
  
* * * 


	25. New Year

~A Once and Again Series~

Life is what you make of it

Quick note The poems at the end are from www.lovepoetry.com and they are from the "classic love poems" link.  Some of them don't seem to be typical love poems, but they were on the site, and I liked them. 

Chapter 25//New Year

 "Could you grab that plate, Grace?"

"Sure," Grace picked up the platter of crackers, cheese and summer sausage and followed her mother into the living room.  Her mother and Rick had decided that celebrating New Year's Eve at home would be best this year.  The whole family was there.  And Judy and Sam also. 

"Oh, food," Rick said as he spotted Grace.  He took the platter from her and Grace went over to where Eli was sitting.

"Hey." Grace said to Eli.

Eli looked up and smiled at her.  "It's almost time."

Grace looked at the clock, "Yeah."  Two more minutes.

Eli stood up and guided her out of the living room and into the entrance hall.  "It's a tradition to start the new year off with a kiss, you know."

Grace nodded and they listened to the other room, as the TV counted down the seconds.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.."

Grace leaned into him and they kissed.  Somewhere, far away, it seemed that their family was cheering and Zoe was blowing the noisemaker she had been playing with all night, but all Grace was thinking about was Eli and the kiss.  It was a good idea to start off a new year with a kiss.  It made everything seem sweeter, and the upcoming year seem more cheerful and hopeful.  They could put the tragedies and sorrows of the year behind them and have a fresh start.  Grace didn't know how long they had been kissing, she did realize in some distant part of her mind that the cheering had stopped and the noise level lessened.  But she was too wrapped up in the kiss to care.

*          *          *

Judy gave Sam a small kiss as the hour struck midnight.  "Happy new year," Judy smiled up at him.

"Happy new year," Sam said back.  He took her hand and guided her out of the room.  They entered the entrance hall and began kissing before they realized they weren't alone.  Judy gasped at the site of Eli and Grace in each other's arms.

*          *          *

Augustus raised his glass of wine at the radio which had interrupted its classical music to announce the New Year's arrival.  Augustus sighed at the prospect of another year and tipped the glass to his lips.  He thought of Grace and if she was with Eli at this moment.  He thought of the gift he had sent her, and of the inscription he had thoughtless written.  He meant every word he had written, but it wasn't fair to Grace that he had sent it to her.  He should have held on to it.  He should have put it back on the shelf.  But once he had taken down that book, the book with poems that spoke to his very soul, he knew he had to send it to Grace.  No one but Grace could appreciate it fully.  Augustus wondered what she thought of it.  He wished he could talk to her, and hear her voice, see her eyes light up with animation.  But they had ended it.  But still, if it was over, then why had he sent her that book?  And why had he known that she would love it?

The radio announcer ceased his cheerful 'Happy New Year's' and the music began to play again.  Augustus let the wordless music wash over him and sooth him.  Then he put his pen to the paper and began to write again.

*          *          *

"Happy New Year!"

Lily cheered and gave her husband a quick peck and then she turned to Zoe and kissed her daughter's cheeks.  She drew Jessie closer to her and kissed Jessie's cheeks too.  Zoe blew her noisemaker over and over.  The people on the TV were cheering and shouting Happy New Year!

"Where's Grace? And Eli?  And Judy and Sam?" Lily asked as the room quieted.  

Rick shrugged, putting a cracker sandwich into his mouth.  Lily leaned into him and kissed him again.

*          *          *

Grace and Eli pulled apart, and looked into Judy's shocked eyes.  Sam fidgeted uncomfortably behind her and finally he exited into the kitchen.

"Judy.." Grace began nervously.

"Does your mother know?  Or Rick?  Or anyone?" Judy asked, still in shock.  She had no idea that the two of them were together.

"Jessie knows," Eli said with an uncomfortable shrug.

"Please don't say anything to my mother, Judy, please." Grace pleaded, looking into her Aunt's eyes.  She could tell Judy was fighting with herself over what to do.

"There you guys are!" Lily cried as she joined them in the entrance hall.  Lily hugged Judy, Grace and then Eli.  "Happy New Year!"

Grace looked into Judy's eyes one last time as her mother hugged Eli.  Judy frowned, but nodded.

"What are you guys doing in here?" Lily asked.

"Oh, we were getting something to drink," Grace provided.  

"Yeah, I'm thirsty," Judy agreed, giving Grace a look that said she didn't like this at all.

*          *          *

"We have to tell them, Eli," Grace said later.  She had snuck out to his garage after everyone had gone to sleep.  "Judy knows, and she won't say anything, at least not for a little while.  But it's not fair to ask her to keep it a secret."

"I know, I know," Eli sighed, "We'll tell them soon."

"Really?" 

"Yeah.  I don't know how they'll take it, but we have no choice." 

"I love you," Grace snuggled closer against him.

"I love you too."

They lay together and eventually Grace became aware that Eli had fallen asleep.  She lightly lifted his arm and rolled out of his grasp.  She left his room and snuck up to her own.

When she fell on her bed, she thought she'd fall asleep right away, but her mind was still going.  She thought of snatches of the beautiful poems in the collection that lay just inches beneath her head.  Finally, Grace resigned and took out the book, and began to read.

She Is Not Fair To Outward View  
by Hartley Coleridge 

 She is not fair to outward view

    as many maidens be;

Her loveliness I never knew

    until she smiled on me.

Oh, then I saw her eye was bright,

    a well of love, a spring of light.

But now her looks are coy and cold,

   to mine they ne'er reply

And, yet, I cease not to behold

   the love-light in her eye.

Her very frowns are fairer far

   than smiles of other maidens are. 

Fire and Ice  
by Robert Frost 

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great 

And would suffice. 

Hope is a Thing With Feathers  
by Emily Dickinson

Hope is a thing with feathers

That perches in the soul

And sings a tune without words

And never stops at all.

And sweetest, in the gale, is heard

And sore must be the storm

That could abash the little bird

That keeps so many warm.

I've heard it in the chilliest land

And on the strangest sea

Yet, never, in extremity

It ask a crumb of me. 

editor's note.. "Hope is a thing with feathers" is my favorite poem of all time!!!

How Do I Love Thee?  
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace. 

I love thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight. 

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; 

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. 

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. 

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints,--I love thee with the breath, 

Smiles, tears, of all my life!--and, if God choose, 

I shall but love thee better after death. 

When We Two Parted  
by George Gordon, Lord Byron 

When we two parted 

In silence and tears,

Half broken-hearted 

To sever the years,

Pale grew thy cheek and cold, 

Colder, thy kiss;

Truly that hour foretold 

Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning 

Sunk, chill on my brow,

It felt like the warning 

Of what I feel now.

Thy vows are all broken, 

And light is thy fame;

I hear thy name spoken, 

And share in its shame.

They name thee before me, 

A knell to mine ear;

A shudder comes o'er me...

Why wert thou so dear?

They know not I knew thee, 

Who knew thee too well..

Long, long shall I rue thee, 

Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met

In silence I grieve

That thy heart could forget, 

Thy spirit deceive.

If I should meet thee 

After long years,

How should I greet thee?

With silence and tears. 


	26. Half of your heart

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter 26//Half of your heart  
  
"So, after school?" Grace asked.  
  
"Yes." Eli kissed her softly.  
  
Grace smiled up at him and they got into the car. Jessie stared at them from the backseat.  
  
"What were you two talking about?" Jessie asked curiously.  
  
Eli looked back at his sister and shrugged, "Grace and I are going to take a lesson from you and Katie. We're going to tell Dad and Lily after school today."  
  
"That's great," Jessie said cheerfully, but Grace felt like Jessie's eyes hid a bit of coldness in them. Jessie hadn't treated Grace the same since she found out about Mr. Dimitri and her. Grace knew Jessie didn't trust her, but she didn't know how to change that.  
  
"I just hope they take it okay," Grace said quietly. She looked out the window as the car drove on.  
  
"Me too," Eli said and he squeezed her hand. Their eyes met for a brief second.  
  
In the back Jessie looked away.  
  
* * *  
  
Eli watched as Grace walked towards the school, before putting the car into drive. He didn't know what he was going to do to pass the time today. He had no work today, and sitting around the house worrying over what they were going to do in a few hours didn't sound fun.  
  
Eli pulled into the driveway and shut off the engine. He began to head to the garage, but changed his mind. He had never got to listen to the CD Grace had made him. Eli entered the empty house and went up the stairs.  
  
At first he couldn't see the CD anywhere, but then saw the edge of it poking out from under a pile of clothes on Grace's desk. Eli pulled the CD out and turned to leave the room, but then he saw the leather-covered book on Grace's bed. Eli looked around, feeling guilty for no reason and moved towards it.  
  
He picked it up, and noticed there was no title on the cover. He opened it, only planning on finding the title page to see what it was. But even after he saw the title: Love is Never Lost: a collection by William Timor Timonen, he found his fingers still turning the page. Grace wouldn't care if he read it. Poetry had never been his thing, but he could give it a try for Grace.  
  
But he never got past the third page. Tucked inside the third page was a small square of paper that said: Merry Christmas from Santa. The book must be a Christmas gift from someone, Eli thought and then he noticed the inscription.  
  
Grace,  
  
This book is one of my favorites  
  
It means everything  
  
Love always Augustus  
  
Eli shook his head at the words as the anger built up inside him. He closed the book with a thud and tossed it back on the bed. Leaving the CD behind too, Eli made his way downstairs and out of the house. He needed to think.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace looked for Augustus that first day back after vacation. There was no pretending she didn't. Her neck craned the hallways for his familiar red hair. She didn't see him. She could have easily gone to his classroom, where she would have definitely saw him, but that would involve admitting to herself that she wanted to see him. She couldn't do that, not just yet. But if she happened to run into him in the hall, that wouldn't be so bad. And then she could thank him for the beautiful book he gave her. But she never saw him.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace and Jessie headed towards Eli's car after school. Grace was walking slowly, carefully glancing at the teacher's parking lot. Jessie was walking faster and got to the car before her. Grace watched as Jessie opened the car to the front passenger seat. Jessie turned and looked at Grace as she slid into the seat. Grace felt a chill go down her at Jessie's coldness. But, Grace didn't mind, not really. Jessie would eventually get over this and see that Grace wasn't going to hurt Eli. And anyways, today was the day when she and Eli were going to tell their parents the news.  
  
Grace got into the back seat and she caught Eli's eyes in the rearview mirror. Grace smiled at him, but he looked away. Grace began to get nervous. Had Eli changed his mind? Was he not ready to tell everyone? Grace sent the ride home, waiting to catch Eli's eyes with hers again, but she never did. She listened to Eli and Jessie talk about her math class in growing dread. Something wasn't right.  
  
Finally they pulled into the driveway. Eli got out first, and headed straight to his garage. Jessie turned and gave Grace a questioning look, as if to say what did you do this time? And then Jessie got out and went into the house. Grace hurried after Eli, catching him right as he was about to close his door.  
  
For a moment Grace thought he was going to slam it in her face, but Eli just sighed and let her in.  
  
"What is it, Eli? What's wrong?" Grace asked.  
  
Eli shook his head, and his brown eyes glared at her, "I found your book."  
  
"My book?" Grace asked with a slight tremble in her voice as she thought: 'No, no.. please don't let him have seen it!'  
  
"The one that is signed, Love always Augustus!" Eli turned away from her, "I knew you weren't over him."  
  
"But I.. I am, Eli! He sent me the book, I didn't have anything to do with it!"  
  
"You accepted it, didn't you? You kept it, and you read it, didn't you?"  
  
"Well, yeah, but.." Grace grasped for an explanation, but found none.  
  
"No buts, Grace. You still love him!" Eli turned back to her and Grace saw the pain on his face. "I knew what we had was too good to be true. But I thought I could trust you. But now I know I can't."  
  
"Don't say that! I made a stupid mistake, but you're the one that I love, Eli!" Grace moved closer to him, but he backed away.  
  
"No, Grace, I'm sick of having only half of your heart! He has the other half, and until you take that back, you won't be able to love me, only me."  
  
"What do you want me to do?" Grace asked.  
  
"I can't tell you that, Grace. You have to solve this yourself." Eli sighed. "Why don't you just go to him? Be with him?"  
  
"Eli!" Grace shook her head, "No, I want to be with you!"  
  
"Do you? Do you really?" Eli looked at her, and she found she couldn't answer. "That's what I thought." Eli gestured to the door, "Just go."  
  
"Eli!" Grace pleaded one last time.  
  
"Go!"  
  
Grace left.  
  
* * *  
  
Judy came over later that day. She poured herself a glass of orange juice from the fridge and noticed Grace sitting at the table. Judy went over to her niece, "Hi Grace."  
  
Grace looked up and Judy saw the sadness in her eyes. "Hi."  
  
Judy looked around, no one else was nearby. "Grace, what's wrong?"  
  
"You don't have to worry about keeping Eli and me a secret from my mom anymore," Grace said unhappily.  
  
"Why? Did you tell them?" Judy asked, and then frowned, "Did they take it bad? Is that why you're upset?"  
  
Grace shook her head, "No, it's not that."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Eli and I broke up," Grace blurted out.  
  
"Oh, honey!" Judy drew Grace up in a hug. Grace took comfort in the hug and found the tears that she had refused to let fall earlier slide down her face.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace went up to her after an uncomfortable dinner, where Eli had refused to make eye contact with her and Jessie had stared accusingly at Grace. Finally she couldn't take it anymore and had excused herself. She just kept thinking that she and Eli were supposed to have been telling their parents about the two of them then, but instead Eli was giving her the cold shoulder, and Jessie was burning holes into the side of her head.  
  
Grace turned on the light in her room and saw the book still lying where she had carelessly had left it. Next to it was the CD she had so carefully made Eli, picking only the songs that she knew he would like. Looking at the CD reminded her of the other half of his present, which she had never gotten to give to him.  
  
Grace went to her closet and pulled out the cologne. With a sign, she opened it and sniffed the sweet musky scent. It smelled so nice. Grace smelt it again, spritzing the air with the bottle. As the scent washed over her, she sat up straight with a jolt. Now Grace realized why she had been so drawn to the cologne. It was Augustus' cologne, the one she had always loved. The one that she caught the scent of sometimes in class and more often when they were at his house.  
  
Grace closed the cologne and put it back in the bag with guilt. She had bought Augustus' cologne to give to Eli. What kind of girlfriend was she? Everything Eli had said was true. He only had half of her heart. The other half belonged to Augustus. That wasn't fair to either of them. She had to change something. She couldn't let herself be split between them anymore. She had to make a choice.  
  
* * * 


	27. Before you interfered

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala~~~~~ Wow, chapter 27 already. Thanks for reading!~~~~  
  
Chapter 27//Before you interfered  
  
Lily sighed, dropping her head. Judy watched her and waited. She knew that Lily was on the verge of one of her big conversations. Judy just hoped it wasn't about Grace. Judy didn't want to have to hide what she knew from her sister. Lily looked back up with a sour look on her face, "I just wish I knew what was going on in Grace's life."  
  
Judy turned away to shield the grimace on her face. She reached for the coffee pot and filled up her mug. She turned back around. "What do you mean?" She asked innocently.  
  
"One moment She's happy, then sad, then depressed even, then happy again. And now I can't even tell what she is anymore. She has just shut me out entirely from any of her emotions. Only a guy could do that to her, but she won't tell me even if she's dating anyone. Do you think she's dating someone?" Lily asked.  
  
"No, I don't think she's dating anyone," Judy said honestly.  
  
"Really?" Lily asked in surprise. "I could have sworn that it was a guy making her feel this way. And what else could make her shut down to her own mother?"  
  
Judy shrugged, "Well, maybe it is a guy, but maybe she's not dating him."  
  
"Like a crush?" Lily smiled. "No, I think it has to be more than just a crush. I mean, she's changed. I just wish I knew why."  
  
Judy nodded, feeling extremely guilty. But it wouldn't be fair to Grace if she told Lily about Grace and Eli, especially after they had broken up. There was no point in making things worse for Grace by letting Lily in on things, no matter how hard it was not to. Judy just kept her mouth shut and listened to Lily rattled on about what could be happening in Grace's life.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace didn't know what to do. Eli had basically said she had to either get over Augustus entirely or forget about their relationship. But Grace didn't know if that was a bad thing or a good thing. Which man did she want in her life? Which man would be the best for her? Grace didn't know. All she knew she that she had to do something or she'd end up with nobody. But what should she do? Should she burn everything that reminded her of Augustus to please Eli? Or should she go and be with Augustus? Grace didn't know.  
  
So she spent a week doing nothing. Eli was avoiding her and Grace purposely didn't run into Augustus at school. All she did was think, think, think until her whole head felt like exploding. She had to make a choice. But she needed more to go on. So, she finally decided she should go talk to Augustus, just talk, and see how things went. But Grace was having difficulties making herself do that. She was afraid that as soon as she stepped back into the world she and Augustus had shared, she'd forget about Eli entirely forever. And Grace wasn't ready to do that. Eli had been her first crush, and Augustus had been her first real love, but Eli had been the first to make love to her. It was all too screwed up. Grace didn't know what to do, and as the days past she began to wonder if Eli would even ever take her back. He had made it sound as if he wanted her to do something that would make her forget about Augustus and then come back to him. But how long would he give her before he shut and locked the door on her? The door was already shut, but Grace knew it still could be opened. But the question was did she really want to open it? Did she want to go back to Eli, with promises of having forgotten about Augustus, or was it Augustus she yearned for?  
  
* * *  
  
Eli was avoiding Grace as he knew Grace was struggling with making a decision over him and Mr. Dimitri. Eli knew it was best to give her time to think. But Eli had an idea of how to help things along. He looked up the address in the telephone book. There was only one Mr. Dimitri listed. Eli got into his car and drove to the address.  
  
* * *  
  
Augustus put down his pen as the knock sounded on his front door. The first thought that came to his mind was 'Grace!', but that was silly. Grace had never used his front door before; it had always been her tradition to come to the back sliding glass doors. But, still Augustus went to door with a glimmer of hope.  
  
But it was not Grace's face he saw as he opened the door. Instead it was a vaguely familiar face. It took him a second to place it. "Eli?"  
  
Eli nodded, "Hi Mr. Dimitri. Can we talk?"  
  
Augustus was truly surprised by this visit, but let the young man in anyway. He couldn't help but study Eli, the guy who Grace's heart now belonged to. Eli was average height, a little taller than Augustus himself, and had slightly spiked dark brown hair. He was dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. He looked like an average kid. But Augustus knew there had to be something more to him. After all, the guy was now the lovely Grace's boyfriend.  
  
Eli appeared to be studying him too, and Augustus felt tiny under his stare. He turned uncomfortably away and gestured towards the kitchen, "Do you want something to drink?"  
  
"Uh, no," Eli said. He looked around at Augustus' living room. "I just wanted to talk to you about Grace."  
  
"What about her?" Augustus assumed Grace had told Eli about their relationship. And now the big bad boyfriend was here to protect his girlfriend from the perverted teacher. Augustus sighed. "Sit down." They sat uncomfortably on the couch and the armchair.  
  
"We broke up.." Eli began and Augustus listened with interest. "But, I'm pretty sure we'll get back together, but it would help things if you stayed out of her life."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"The book.." Eli started.  
  
"Ah, the book," Augustus interrupted him, "Yes, that was a mistake."  
  
"Yes, it was," Eli said coldly, trying to read the man before him, but finding it difficult. Mr. Dimitri was not displaying any emotions at all. "It's the reason we broke up actually."  
  
"Oh, so she liked the book?" Augustus asked with a hint of a smile that faded quickly.  
  
"Yes, no, I don't know. But, it put a wedge between us. You- You're the wedge between us, Mr. Dimitri. If you just backed off.."  
  
"Back off? You want me to back off?" Augustus asked.  
  
"Yes! If you could stay out of her life and stop screwing things up, then she and I could be a happy couple. We were happy together before you interfered."  
  
"I think you got that backwards: Grace and *I* were happy together before YOU interfered." Augustus said angrily with the most emotion Eli had seen out of him.  
  
"No, Grace said you had broken up because she knew your relationship was wrong," Eli insisted.  
  
Augustus raised his eyebrows in amusement. "Grace said that? I don't think so."  
  
"While, maybe not exactly that, but she was unhappy with you," Eli argued.  
  
"Hmm," Augustus said thoughtfully and they elapsed into silence.  
  
Finally Eli couldn't take the stillness anymore. "Please, just stay out of her life. I know I can make her happy, but she just has to forget about you first."  
  
"I don't think I can promise you that." Augustus looked him straight in the eyes.  
  
"I think you have to." Eli said, staring coldly back. "If you don't want everyone to know about how the forty-year old teacher is trying to seduce the 17 year old girl."  
  
"Are you blackmailing me?" Augustus asked in surprise.  
  
"Maybe," Eli shrugged, looking uneasy about what he had just said, but not ready to take it back yet. He knew he might have four aces in his hand, and that all Augustus had was a pair of twos. But was Eli hard-cased enough to put out such a threat?  
  
"You don't know Grace at all, do you?" Augustus smiled. "You know what? I will back off, just for you. But, I can see already that you are not the right guy for Grace and pretty soon she'll realize that too."  
  
Eli was unnerved by that and looked away, "Whatever, but a deal's a deal. You promise to lay off Grace?"  
  
Augustus nodded with less confidence then he felt earlier. How could he be sure Grace would eventually pick him over Eli? What if he was underestimating Eli? Could Eli actually be the right guy for Grace and was Augustus clearing the way for the two of them to be together? But Augustus knew that if he didn't make the promise that there was a good chance that Eli would make do on his threat. Augustus couldn't risk that. "I promise."  
  
Eli nodded, "Good. Now, I'll just be on my way.. I've got a girl waiting at home."  
  
Augustus flinched at his comment and watched as Eli exited his house. What had he just agreed to? Oh, boy.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace grabbed her mother's keys off the table. It was time she finally visited Augustus. They had to talk before she could sort everything out. Now was as good as time as any to do it, Eli had left earlier and was still gone, so there would be no questions. Grace ran back up to her room on second thought and grabbed the bag containing the cologne. Augustus had given her the book, but she had never gotten him a present. But the cologne was perfect. It was Augustus' scent and it didn't belong on Eli. Maybe it had been Augustus who she had gotten the present for subconsciously without realizing it. Because she couldn't image giving it to Eli. No, it was Augustus who it belonged to.  
  
Grace smiled as she went out to the car and started up the engine. She felt good. Going to his house felt good. Seeing Augustus felt good. Maybe it was Augustus who she should choose, after all. Well, tonight would definitely help her decide who was the right man for her. Tonight she would make a choice.  
  
* * * 


	28. My own decisions

~A Once and Again series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter 28//My own decisions  
  
Grace knocked on the sliding glass doors. After a brief moment, Augustus arrived and let her in. He looked surprised and uneasy about her being here.  
  
Grace smiled at him, "Thank you for the book. It's so lovely." Augustus nodded, but didn't say anything. Grace held up the bag she carried, "I got something for you too."  
  
Augustus reluctantly took the bag. He stared at her instead of opening it however. "Grace.."  
  
"No, don't say anything until you know everything." Grace said quickly. "Eli and I broke up. He saw the book, and he knew that I still had feelings for you. So he basically said I had to choose between him and you. I don't know what you to do. So, I thought it would help if I came and talked with you. Then maybe I could make a decision."  
  
Augustus shook his head, "Grace you shouldn't be here." He thought of Eli and how he had just left only ten minutes ago, and of the promise he had made. He had told Eli he wouldn't interfere with him and Grace. It was a promise he should have never made, but he had. So, now he had to stick to that promise, no matter how wrong it was. He couldn't tell Grace he loved her and he couldn't reach out and kiss her. No, he had to back off.  
  
"Augustus!" Grace smiled, "It's okay. Didn't you hear what I said? I need to talk to you."  
  
Augustus sighed, "Grace, I *can't* talk to you. I'm sorry."  
  
"Why not?" Grace asked in confusion. She had thought Augustus would want to talk to her. He had after all sent her that book. She thought he still loved her.  
  
"Grace, just please go. It would be best if you just left." Augustus turned away from her.  
  
"No!" Grace moved to him, pulling on his arm. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"Grace, I can't talk to you. Not now. I'm sorry. Please just go." Augustus took her hand gently off his arm. "I think you have to choose Eli. Give him everything you have, one hundred percent, and then you'll be able to see if you two belong together."  
  
"But, what if I don't want to do that? What if I want to be with you?"  
  
"Grace, you can't. Not right now. You owe Eli a chance. Give him your whole heart and if things aren't right between you two, you'll be able to tell. That's the way to solve this, Grace. If you came back to me right now, a part of you would still be with him. No, I don't want that. You need to follow this thing through with him. See if he can make you happy. See if he's the one you really love." Augustus smiled gently at her.  
  
Grace looked away, pained, "But what if I am happy with him? What about us?"  
  
"Then there would be no 'us'."  
  
"But I want there to be an 'us'." Grace pleaded. "I don't know what I would do if you were out of my life completely."  
  
"Grace, it would be okay. If he can make you happy, then it wouldn't matter that you weren't with me." Augustus said. "The only way you'll be giving Eli and yourself a fair chance is if you forget about me and give him your all."  
  
"You're too good." Grace whispered. "Why do you always act so right? How can you stand knowing I'm going back to him?"  
  
Augustus allowed himself a brush of his hand against her cheek. "Because I have to. It's the only way there's a chance you'll come back to me with Eli out of your system is if you do this now."  
  
"But, you do want me to come back, right? You still love me?" Grace asked. They looked into each other's eyes.  
  
Finally Augustus answered, knowing he was going against the promise he had made to Eli, but there was no way he was going to hurt Grace again by lying to her. He loved her, and he wasn't going to pretend he didn't. "Yes, Grace I love you. But you have to do this."  
  
"I know," Grace said reluctantly. She turned away, and headed for the door. She looked back once and sighed. Finally she left. Outside as she started up the car, Grace wondered how it had turned out this way. She had been sure she was going to end up back together with Augustus after she talked to him. But Augustus wanted her to give Eli a chance. What a man Augustus was, even though he loved her, he was still pushing her to be with Eli, to give Eli a fair chance. Who else would have done something that noble? But, still, Grace wished Augustus hadn't been that way. She wished he would have taken her into his arms and refused to let her go again. She wished he would have wanted to get back together, but instead he pushed her away, towards Eli.  
  
* * *  
  
Eli waited nervously in Grace's room. Jessie had seen him in there earlier and he could tell she wasn't happy about it. Eli heard Grace's feet on the stairs and went to the doorway. Grace looked up and saw him.  
  
"Hi," Grace said and they went into her room. Eli closed the door behind her.  
  
"I just went to Augustus' house," Grace said.  
  
Eli looked at her, startled. Did Mr. Dimitri tell her everything? He waited to hear what she would say.  
  
"And I'm ready to give us another try. I'll give you my all this time."  
  
Eli smiled, pleased. Mr. Dimitri had kept his promise, he had backed off and now Grace was his again. "I'm glad Grace."  
  
Grace smiled and Eli pulled her in for a quick kiss. He let go of her and went over to her bed. Grace watched in surprise as Eli picked up her book and showed it to her. "I think we should get rid of this, then."  
  
"Eli! No!" Grace grabbed the book from him. Her heart had wrenched up in pain as she realized that Eli had wanted to get rid of the book. She loved it too much to throw it away, like a piece of trash.  
  
Eli sighed, "I thought you said you'd give me your all. You got to forget about him, Grace."  
  
Grace shook her head, "I will, Eli! But you can't throw this away."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Grace couldn't find an answer that wouldn't upset him. "It was a gift, Eli!"  
  
"Yeah, from him." Eli reached for the book.  
  
"No, I'm keeping it." Grace dodged his grasp.  
  
"Give it to me!"  
  
"No." Grace pulled away. She knew she should give up the book, but she couldn't. It was too beautiful. It meant to much to her.  
  
Eli stared coldly at her, "Grace, if you can't get rid of that book that means you can't get rid of him! And if you can't get rid of him, then we can't be together."  
  
Grace knew that, but she still held onto the book. Eli waited for her to do something, but Grace was still. Eli shook his head, "This figures! You never loved me, you always loved him!"  
  
Grace looked down at the floor guiltily. She didn't know what to say.  
  
"Did he convince you to go back to him? Did he tell you lies? He told me he'd stay away from you!"  
  
Grace jerked her head up in surprise, "You went to see him?"  
  
Eli scowled and nodded. "Yeah, but I guess he didn't keep his promise."  
  
Grace gasped. No wonder why Augustus had been so firm on the fact that she and him couldn't be together and that she had to give Eli a fair chance. Only it was Eli who was the one not giving Grace the fair chance! He manipulated the situation, so that Augustus would back away from her. Eli hadn't given her a fair chance to choose between them.  
  
"Grace, I'm sorry." Eli said as he realized she was upset that he went to see Mr. Dimitri. "But, I had to make sure you'd come back to me."  
  
Grace looked up at him and shook her head in anger. "You only care about yourself, Eli."  
  
"No, I care about you too. I love you."  
  
"Then why didn't you let me make my own decisions?" Grace stared at him, and was pleased when he flinched guiltily.  
  
"But I did! I just asked him if he'd stay away from you." Eli insisted.  
  
"Eli, I can't be with you." Grace told him, coming to a decision.  
  
"Is this because I went to see him?"  
  
"No, it's because I just can't. You're not the right guy for me, Eli." Grace said softly.  
  
Eli shook his head, laughing bitterly. "He said that too."  
  
Grace nodded, "He's a very smart man."  
  
Eli snorted in disgust and he looked at Grace one last time. "I'm not going to be here if you change your mind again. I'm not going to wait on you."  
  
"I know." Grace said, and she thought of how Augustus had been willing to wait for her while she was with Eli and she knew that she was making the right choice. Augustus was such a great man, and Grace had gotten caught up in Eli and had let herself forget that.  
  
Eli sighed and walked out the door. Grace watched him go, and felt like a weight had been lifted off her heart. She had loved Eli, but it had never been right between them.  
  
* * * 


	29. Ready to talk

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter 29// Ready to talk  
  
Grace shut the front door behind her with a sigh of relief. It felt great to get out of her house. Eli was ignoring her, Jessie was angry at her, and her mother kept asking her questions that she didn't want to answer. But for once she didn't have to lie to her mother when she asked if Grace had a boyfriend or not. Because at this moment, Grace didn't have a boyfriend. Eli was gone, and she had yet to talk with Augustus. So, Augustus didn't even know that she had broken it off with Eli. Grace wanted to tell him the second she had called it quits in her room with Eli, but something was holding her back. Maybe it was respect for Eli - it wouldn't be very nice if she got back with Augustus the moment the two of them had broken up. Or maybe it was something more than that. Grace had the weird idea that she was scared to tell him. Scared to get back with him. She didn't know why, but there was that fear hiding there, that kept her from going to his house or catching him at school.  
  
Grace went out to her mother's car and started it up and watched the house for Jesse. She hated that she still had to drive Jessie to school and places, even when the girl was extremely angry and hostile with her. She didn't know if she could take any more of Jessie's comments or angry looks.  
  
Grace had her hand above the horn when Jessie hurried out the front door. Grace waited until Jessie was in the car and buckled up before she took off for the school. Jessie gave Grace a long stare, and Grace looked away. Jessie turned up the radio and the two of them rode in silence.  
  
* * *  
  
"I asked Grace today." Lily said later that morning as she and Judy ate breakfast together at Book Lovers.  
  
Judy pulled off a chunk of her doughnut and put it in her mouth. "Asked what?"  
  
"About the boyfriend.." Lily said in exasperation. She had been talking about this to Judy for the last week and still had to remind her sister what she meant. "And she said she didn't have one."  
  
"There you go."  
  
Lily shook her head, "No, I think she was telling the truth but there was more to the story, I'm sure. There's something she's not telling me."  
  
Judy was silent, sipping her hot cappuccino. The truth about Eli and Grace lay on the tip of her tongue. She couldn't even managed an 'uh huh' right now without spilling it all. She was never good at keeping secrets, especially from her big sister.  
  
"Has she said anything to you?" Lily asked.  
  
Judy's mouth opened in surprise and a gargled "No" rose from her throat.  
  
Lily's eyes went wide, "She did! Judy! Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
Judy sighed, her shoulders deflating as she knew the truth was going to come out now. There was no stopping it. "She asked me not to."  
  
Lily shook her head in disbelief. "I'm your sister! Grace is my daughter and you couldn't even tell me!"  
  
"I just stumbled onto it. I wasn't supposed to know either." Judy said, remembering the shock of catching Eli and Grace wrapped up into each other, sharing a kiss on New Year's.  
  
"Well.." Lily looked directly into her eyes, "Are you going to tell me?"  
  
Judy looked away, but she already knew she would. The truth was too heavy on her shoulders. "I guess it doesn't really matter if I tell you or not, since they broke up. But, just don't say anything to Grace, or to Eli."  
  
"Eli? Why would I.." Lily drew back as the realization hit her. She opened her mouth in shock and leaned closer to the table again. "Eli and Grace?"  
  
Judy nodded, "I saw them, kissing, on New Year's and then a few days later, Grace said they had broken up."  
  
"Oh," Lily looked truly shocked, "How long had this been going on?"  
  
"I don't know." Judy shrugged and then she saw the glint in Lily's eyes. "No, Lily. You are not going to ask her about it! Please don't.. She'll know I told you. And it's over now anyway, so you'd just be doing more harm than good."  
  
Lily reluctantly nodded. "So this is what my daughter has been hiding from me.. Eli."  
  
* * *  
  
Grace saw him in the hallway. It was an unplanned event. He was walking in her direction, on the other side of the traffic of students headed towards lunch. Their eyes met and for a brief moment they united. They weren't just teacher and student, or even Augustus and Grace. No, for a moment, they were just the same being, one force in this crazy universe. And that's when Grace lost her ridiculous fear about going to him. And that's when Augustus realized that Grace was no longer Eli's. In that brief moment they understood everything about each other. But that moment passed, and although Grace felt a little better about going to Augustus, she still had crazy little butterflies in her stomach. And Augustus began to doubt his thought that Grace and Eli had broken up and wondered what made him think that in the first place.  
  
Grace wasn't ready today. But soon she knew she would. Soon, she'd go talk to him. And hopefully soon, they'd get back together.  
  
* * *  
  
"How was school?" Lily asked later that day. Grace had just got home from school, and Lily wanted to blurt out all the questions that had arose from her conversation with Judy, but she forced herself to only ask the normal motherly questions.  
  
"Fine." Grace poured herself a glass of juice. "When can I get my own car?"  
  
"When the money-fairy comes," Lily joked. Grace knew that another car right now was out of their family's financial limit.  
  
Grace rolled her eyes and drank her juice.  
  
Lily watched her, hating having Grace be so close, but being unable to ask all the questions that were pounding in her brain. She was still shocked that she hadn't seen that Grace and Eli were a couple, right under nose. And now the two were broken up and Lily wanted to ask why. And she wanted to know how Grace could have ever gotten involve with Eli in the first place, as he was her stepbrother. So many questions that would stay unanswered. Unless, Grace told Lily about Eli out of her own will. It was worth a try. "Anything you want to talk about, Grace?"  
  
Grace gave her mother a weird look and put her glass in the sink. She opened her mouth, but the door opened and Eli entered. Lily watched Grace's reaction to Eli carefully. She now saw what she had been missing before. There was a slight sadness on Grace's features, and beneath that a soft fragileness as Grace looked at Eli. Lily turned to Eli and was surprised by the anger on his face directed towards Grace. How could she have missed that anger and resentment Eli held for Grace. It was clear that Grace was the one who had broken up with Eli, based on their expressions. The anger faded from Eli's face; well, not faded exactly, but more was replaced by a false indifference.  
  
"How's work going, Eli?" Lily asked, pretending she hadn't noticed anything. Pretending she didn't know about them.  
  
"Oh, it's good. I got my paycheck today." Eli held up an envelope. "Jessie and I are going to go to the mall and blow half of it."  
  
Lily smiled at him. "That's nice."  
  
Jessie entered the room, and Lily realized Jessie knew about Eli and Grace also, based on the cold look she threw Grace and the way she almost clung to her brother protectively. "I'm ready! Oh, Can Katie come? I already told her she could." Jessie said to Eli.  
  
"Why not?" Eli shrugged and handed his sister her coat. "Bye Lily."  
  
"Bye. Have fun!" Lily watched the two of them leave. Then she turned to Grace, who stood quietly in the corner. "Ready to talk now?"  
  
* * * 


	30. I just don't like it

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Sorry for taking so long with the new chapter. This computer has been having problems, but I'm getting my own computer in a few days, so hopefully things will go better. Anyway, thanks for reading!  
  
Chapter 30//I just don't like it  
  
"Ready to talk now?"  
  
Grace looked at her mother uneasily. She could see understanding in her mother's eyes. Her mother knew. "Judy told you?"  
  
"Don't blame Judy. I could see something was going on with you, and if I had looked closer I would have seen the way you and Eli are acting towards each other." Lily said.  
  
"What do you mean?" Grace lied. She should have realized the anger and hurt that filled the air when she and Eli were in the same room was clearly sensed by anyone. Grace leaned back against the counter; kind of glad it was coming out. It was one thing she could tell her mother. Augustus was one thing that she couldn't tell her mother about, at least not yet.  
  
"You know what I mean. I just wished you would have told me you and Eli were dating." Lily sighed, and moved closer to her daughter.  
  
Grace looked up at her mother, "Would you have accepted it?"  
  
"I.. I don't know, honey. You're stepbrother and stepsister."  
  
Grace looked away, "That's why I couldn't tell you. I knew you wouldn't understand."  
  
"I do understand, Grace. I just don't like it." Lily put a hand on Grace's shoulder and Grace shrugged it off.  
  
"Well, it's over, so it doesn't matter." Grace went to the fridge and began straightening the magnets on it.  
  
"How long was this going on?" Lily asked.  
  
"A few weeks." Grace opened the fridge and looked at the food with disinterest.  
  
Lily made an audible little sigh. She waited until Grace shut the fridge and turned around, before asking THE question. "Were you two serious?"  
  
Grace stared at her mother nervously, "What are you asking?"  
  
"Did you sleep with him?"  
  
Grace's mouth fell open and she shook her head in disbelief. How could her mother ask such a personal question?  
  
"Well?" Lily asked uneasily, her hands fidgeting with the edge of the countertop. She looked up at her daughter, and didn't like the look she saw on her daughter's face. It was a look of guilt. "You did."  
  
Grace turned and hurried out of the room. She couldn't stand the disappointed look she had seen on her mother's face. And what if her mother had found out about her relationship with Augustus, how would her mother look at her then? Grace didn't want to know.  
  
* * *  
  
"Have you noticed the tension between Grace and Eli lately?" Lily asked Rick that night.  
  
"No, why are they fighting?"  
  
"Yes, kind of. They were dating and now they've broken up."  
  
"Eli and Grace??" Rick looked at Lily in shock.  
  
"Yeah," Lily said casually, way way more casually than she felt.  
  
"Oh."  
  
* * *  
  
Grace drove to school that Monday in silence. Jessie sat across from her, her mouth twitched up in disgust. Grace knew Jessie was just itching to say something to her. They were halfway to school before Jessie finally blurting it out.  
  
"Are you signing up for the spring play tryouts?"  
  
Grace was surprised that was the question Jessie had wanted to ask her. Grace hadn't even given the spring play any thought, with all that was going on lately. But she loved being in plays, so she wasn't going to let any of her recent troubles stop her from acting. "Yes," Grace answered Jessie.  
  
"Mr. Dimitri is directing this one, too." Jessie said coldly, and Grace finally understood why Jessie was asking her about the play.  
  
"So?" Grace said carefully. She didn't want to make Jessie angry at her. Jessie could easily spread word about her relationship with Augustus and get them both in trouble. Grace was pretty sure she and Augustus would end up a couple again soon. And this time, Grace would make sure no one found out about them, especially not Jessie or Eli. In fact, Grace could even mislead Jessie, to keep her from the truth. "It was a mistake that I ever got involved with him, Jessie. I know that know. So, from now on, he's just a teacher to me."  
  
Grace snuck a small glance at Jessie, but she couldn't tell whether her stepsister believed her or not. Oh, well, the seed had been planted, though. And if Jessie took the bait, it would be one less problem for her and Augustus. "Are you signing up for tryouts?" Grace asked Jessie sweetly, and was pleased when Jessie looked at her with a small smile for once.  
  
"I don't know. It's not a musical this time, and I don't know if my acting is any good."  
  
Grace smiled, "Are you kidding? Mr. Dimitri would have never given you the role he did if you weren't a good actress."  
  
"Yeah?" Jessie turned towards the window and Grace knew she was hiding a pleased smile. "Maybe I will try out."  
  
* * *  
  
Grace walked into the auditorium nervously. She wanted to be in this play, but she still hadn't talked to Augustus yet. He probably thought she was still with Eli. Grace should have talked to him a long time ago, and now wasn't her chance. There were too many people here, including Jessie. Grace had to stick to her plan, of not letting anyone know about them this time, and to do that she had to be extra careful. Grace just wished she had talked to him before, but now it looked like she was just going to have to wait for the right chance.  
  
Grace saw Jessie was sitting with Katie and Tad near the front. Grace joined her friend Cynthia in one of the middle rows. Cynthia gave her a smile and they both turned their attention to Mr. Dimitri, who was just getting ready to speak. Grace looked at him. He looked so strong and solitary, standing on the stage by himself. Grace was pleased when their eyes caught for a brief second and they shared a look. Then he continued scanning the audience and began speaking.  
  
* * * 


	31. Only You

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter 31// Only you  
  
"I got a call back!" Jessie announced at the dinner table.  
  
"That's great, Jessie," Rick told his daughter, a pleased smile on his face.  
  
Jessie took a sip of her water and shrugged, "It's no big deal. I'm only trying out for a supporting role. Grace will most likely get a lead role."  
  
Grace smiled, "I hope."  
  
Lily looked at the two girls and smiled. She was pleased that the tension between the two of them was melting. Maybe things were getting better. "I hope you both get nice parts."  
  
"Thanks," Jessie said, "I really like the part of Delia. She's interesting. Mr. Dimitri said.." Jessie cut off her words as Eli entered the kitchen and sat at the table.  
  
Eli looked curiously at his sister, wondering why she had said THAT name here. He looked at Grace, who was intent on pushing her peas around her plate. "What did Mr. Dimitri say?"  
  
Jessie shrugged, "Oh, nothing. I was just talking about the play Grace and I tried out for."  
  
"Mr. Dimitri is directing this play too?" Eli said carefully, not letting his true feelings slip out. He wished Mr. Dimitri would just move away or something. Eli never ever wanted to hear his name again. He didn't want to think that now Grace was probably back with him. He didn't want to imagine the two of them together.  
  
"Yeah," Jessie said, almost guiltily. She snuck a glance at Eli and then looked down at her plate. "Did you sign me up for Driver's Ed?" Jessie asked her father, changing the subject.  
  
"Uh, yeah," Rick put his fork down. "You start at the beginning of next month."  
  
Jessie grinned.  
  
"Are you sure you can handle driving? You're just a little kid." Eli kidded his sister.  
  
Grace tuned out as the conversation drifted away from Mr. Dimitri and the play. She could tell that hearing Mr. Dimitri's name had angered Eli. Eli had hidden it well, but she still had seen it. And if she could see it, then her mother might have seen it. Grace glanced at her mother, but her mother had no signs of being upset, so Grace knew she was in the clear. But, it had been too close of a call. Grace wasn't ready for her mother to know. Too many people already knew: Eli, Jessie and Katie all shared the secret. And it would be all too easy for one of them to slip and tell the truth. But, hopefully, they all thought she and Augustus were still broken up and had no plans of getting back together. If Grace could push Jessie into thinking that, then she would tell Katie and Eli. And then things would be okay.  
  
Of course, right now she and Augustus were still broken up. Grace hadn't had a chance to talk to him yet and she had to be very careful. No one could know that she was going to see him. No one could know if they got back together-- when they got back together, Grace corrected herself. She had no doubt it would happen.  
  
* * *  
  
"Hello?" Grace called out to the empty auditorium. She walked up the center aisle, disappointed. She had hoped to have maybe a few minutes with Augustus before everyone else got there for callbacks. Grace hopped up on the stage, and sat on the edge. She dangled her feet and watched the door.  
  
"You look sad."  
  
Grace turned in surprise and saw Augustus standing on the stage behind her. Grace smiled and stood up. She walked over to him. "Do I still look sad?"  
  
"No, now you look happy."  
  
Grace grinned up at him, "That's because I am happy. I've been wanting to talk to you."  
  
Augustus glanced around at the empty auditorium and then said softly, "I've been wanting you to talk to me."  
  
Then looked into each other's eyes for an enjoyable moment. Grace said, "I broke up with Eli. I did it the same night I went to see you and you told me to give him a chance."  
  
"Oh." Augustus' eyebrows lifted, "So you decided not to give him a chance?"  
  
"I didn't have to give him a chance. I could see that he wasn't right for me. I finally saw that. Plus I found out what he did."  
  
"What did he do?" Augustus questioned.  
  
"That he came to see you and made you agree not to interfere between him and me."  
  
"Oh, that." Augustus said with a small smile.  
  
Grace moved closer to him, "Yeah, that. I know now that I love you, and only you."  
  
"That's good." Augustus moved closer to her. "Because I love you."  
  
Grace smiled up at him. She moved to kiss him. The auditorium door creaked open and they backed away from each other. Grace looked towards the door, and was glad it was only someone she didn't know. If it had been Jessie, Grace would have been in trouble. Even if Jessie just saw her and Augustus together alone like this, it would be enough to make her suspicious. The guy who had entered called out to Mr. Dimitri and he walked off the stage to talk to him. Grace went and sat down in a seat, and waiting for the call backs to begin.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace had stayed up late finishing an essay for her history class. She went down to the kitchen to get a glass of water before she went to bed. She got to the fridge before she heard the noises. It sounded like muffled laughter and talking. It sounded like it was coming from the garage. Grace wondered if Jessie and Eli were having one of their brother/sister chats, but as she moved closer to the door to the garage, she could tell it wasn't Jessie in there. But it was a girl, Grace could here that much.  
  
Grace stared at Eli's door in confusion. Eli had a girl in his room at 11:45pm? So, what? Grace asked herself. Eli had a friend over, so what? And even if it wasn't just a friend, it still didn't matter, because Eli wasn't hers anymore. In fact, it would be better if Eli was seeing someone. That way, he'd get over the whole business of her and Augustus. But, still Grace looked at the door with the taste of disgust in her mouth.  
  
* * * 


	32. We have news

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Wow.. chapter 32!!! Anyways, thanks for reading, as always.  
  
Chapter 32//We have news  
  
Grace had managed it. She had escaped her crowded house and was headed towards Augustus' house. She only had to tell a million lies to manage to leave, but whatever. She could worry about the lies she told her mother later. Right now, she was too excited about finally being alone with Augustus.  
  
For the past week, Grace had been trying to think of ways she could escape and see him. Well, she did get to see him three times a week for play practice, but that didn't count. They were never alone at school. Grace couldn't afford to sneak alone times with him there, either, because she knew Jessie had her eyes open. Jessie didn't quite believe Grace was over Mr. Dimitri yet, and she was totally in the right, because, duh, Grace wasn't over him. In fact, Grace was trying to get back with him. But, Jessie didn't need to know that.  
  
Grace parked her mother's car across the street from Augustus' house and was pleased when she saw that his car and only his car was in the driveway. Things were going good. Grace hurried across the street and made her way to his back door. She had just raised her hand to knock when the door opened.  
  
"Hi," Augustus greeted her. He was wearing his casual weekend clothes: a tee shirt and jeans. His hair was tied back in a ponytail and he carried a half-filled glass of wine. "Come in."  
  
Grace entered, and closed the door behind her. She felt an unexpected awkwardness. She walked into his living room and slowly strolled along the bookshelf, pretending to browse his collection, but instead she was trying to fight off her nerves. This was a man she loved, a man she had kissed and kissed and kissed.. suddenly the awkwardness fell away as Grace remembered the kisses. She turned around.  
  
Augustus had put down the glass and had been watching her look at his books. Grace smiled shyly at the expression of lust on his face. She moved to him, pleased. He met her halfway, wrapping his strong arms around her and bending his face down to hers. They kissed soft and slow. He tasted like red wine, but it wasn't unpleasant. Not like the wine Grace had sipped a few times before. No, this taste wasn't bitter, it was sweet and strong and overwhelming. Grace felt intoxicated by the taste of his kisses. Augustus paused the furious kisses, and looked at her.  
  
Grace looked back, "What is it?"  
  
Augustus shook his head softly, "It's just so nice to have you back."  
  
Grace smiled, "I never really left you."  
  
"I know," Augustus leaned in again and their lips caught each other. Grace softly bit his lower lip teasingly. Augustus looked at her in surprise and smiled.  
  
"Can I see your bedroom?" Grace whispered.  
  
"See my.. oh." Augustus looked at her carefully, seeming to study her, and Grace wondered if he knew that she and Eli had had sex. Her mother had been able to tell, could he too? Would he care? He knew she loved him. Grace looked back at him, waiting. "Uh, yeah."  
  
Grace blushed a little as Augustus seemed flustered. She had assumed he'd want to. Of course he wanted to, but he probably just hadn't expected Grace to ask. Back on their one official date, they had only kissed, and well, touched a little. But having him be flustered made Grace flustered. She looked down at her hands as Augustus went to the kitchen.  
  
She heard him come back in the living room and looked up. He had two glasses in his hands. He offered one to Grace. Grace put it to her mouth, assuming he had gotten her juice or something like that, and feeling slightly angry that he had gotten her a child's drink. Instead the strong taste of the red wine filled her mouth. Grace let the wine slide down her throat, enjoying the taste. She was pleased he was treating her like an equal and not a little girl, like her mother always did. She looked at him, and tried to express her pleasure with him without words.  
  
Augustus took in her look, and smiled softly back at her. He took her free hand and led her down the hall. They walked side by side, carrying the glasses of red wine. Augustus pushed open the last door on the left, and Grace entered his bedroom.  
  
* * *  
  
Two hours later, the glasses of wine had long gone, along with their clothes. Now Grace lay next to him, under the covers, their bare skin pleasantly touching. They weren't talking. They didn't need to. Grace felt perfectly happy just laying there, next to him, thinking. Augustus turned and his soft lips kissed her shoulder. "Shouldn't you be getting back?" He asked.  
  
Grace sighed, "I should, but I don't want to. I think I'll move in here, with you. Is that okay?" Grace smiled up at him.  
  
"I would love that. Now, shouldn't you be getting home?" Augustus sat up, and Grace reluctantly sat up with him, holding the blanket up to cover her nakedness.  
  
"Yes, I guess." Grace watched as Augustus climbed out of his side of the bed and began to put on his clothes. She smiled at his sleek naked body. Augustus caught her smile, and he shook his head.  
  
"Don't even think about it. You really have to be getting home." Augustus put on his pants quickly, as if to ease Grace's temptation. Grace laughed, delighted by this man before her. It was a moment where she felt her love for him stronger than anything else. It was a moment of pure joy.  
  
Augustus came over to her and kissed her cheek as she quieted her laughter. "I love you," He said.  
  
"I love you," Grace got out of the bed, the blanket falling away. Augustus took her in and interest flickered in his eyes. But he shook his head and instead handed her her clothes. Grace put them on reluctantly. When she was finished dressing, they united in a last kiss.  
  
Augustus broke it, and Grace knew she had to go. She smiled one last time at him and went to her car.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace entered her house and noted the time: 8:23pm. She had told her mother she was going to Cynthia's and would be back by 8. Her mother had made her promise to be back on time. Grace quietly placed the keys on the key hook and listened to the house. She could hear talking in the living room. Grace began to think up of excuses in her house. Then Grace remembered the wine and hoped she didn't smell of it. How would she explain that? But as it turned out, Grace had no reason to worry. Her mother was too excited to even think to question Grace about her lateness.  
  
As soon as Grace entered the living room, Rick noticed her. "She's here!" Rick called out and Lily turned. Grace could tell by her mother's happy look that she was extremely excited about something. Jessie and Eli sat together on the couch and Zoe on one of the easy chairs, and Grace could tell by their confused blank faces, that they didn't know any more than she did.  
  
"Oh, Grace!" Lily called excitedly. "Sit, sit down."  
  
Grace reluctantly sat next to Jessie and Eli on the couch. They all looked up at their parent's expectedly.  
  
"We have news." Rick began.  
  
"Good news," Lily added.  
  
"We have good news. It might be a bit of a change for you, but I think you'll like it."  
  
Grace nervously moved in her seat. What was it?  
  
Rick smiled at them and finally told them, "My boss wants me and Sam to build him seven more hotels."  
  
"That's great, dad!" Jessie cried.  
  
Grace waited, knowing that there had to be more to it than that. And there was.  
  
"And the first one he wants me to build is in Australia." Rick announced.  
  
"That's great, dad," Eli said.  
  
"Yeah," Grace agreed, confused.  
  
"So, we're moving to Australia?" Zoe asked, and finally the rest of them understood it.  
  
"Cool!" Eli said happily. Zoe also looked happy. Jessie just sat there, silent. And Grace gaped at the thought of moving to Australia, and leaving Augustus behind!  
  
"It's just for four months, but yeah, we're moving to Australia," Lily told them.  
  
"No!" Grace cried.  
  
* * * 


	33. It's not fair

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
Chapter 33// That's not fair  
  
"No!"  
  
"Grace?" Her mother questioned at her outburst. "Honey, I know it will be a bit of a change, but.."  
  
"No! I don't want to move!" Grace cried angrily.  
  
"It's only for four months, and it will be fun, honey, I swear," Lily pleaded.  
  
"What about school?" Grace asked, adding silently in her head, 'What about Augustus?'.  
  
"You will be back in time for your senior year. And you can finish up your junior year there," Lily said, showing how much she and Rick had already talked about this and planned about it. Grace felt a growing dread in her stomach, not liking how concrete this plan was already.  
  
"I don't really want to go either," Jessie spoke up.  
  
"Jessie?" Rick asked his daughter gently.  
  
"Dad, I don't want to leave Katie!" Jessie answered.  
  
"There's always email and the phone, sweetie," Rick said. Jessie sighed and looked down at her hands. Grace could see that Jessie was close to giving in, but Grace wasn't about to give in that easily.  
  
"What about the play?" Grace asked and Jessie looked up.  
  
"Yeah! Dad, I got a good part." Jessie agreed.  
  
"I'm sorry, Jessie, but you'll just have to let Mr. Dimitri know, so he can find replacements." Rick looked to Lily for support. Lily nodded.  
  
Grace flinched at the mention of Augustus. They couldn't do this to her. She had just got back with him, and now they were telling her this! "Mom, I don't want to go."  
  
Lily sighed, her shoulders dropping, "Grace, I thought you'd jump at the chance of going to Australia. It's only for four months."  
  
"I'm not going." Grace leaned back against the sofa, crossing her arms firmly. They couldn't make her go, could they? An idea formed in her mind, "Mom, I'll just live with Judy."  
  
"Grace, you can't do that. Besides, I'm pretty sure Sam will be bringing Judy along with him."  
  
Grace grimaced, holding back a scream. "This is not fair! It's not fair! You can't do this to us!"  
  
Her mother stood silently in front of her, holding firm. "Grace."  
  
"Well, I want to go," Eli spoke up. He turned to Grace giving her a meaningful look. Grace knew he was thinking about how it would keep her from Mr. Dimitri, and gave him a hard glare back in return.  
  
"I want to go too!" Zoe added.  
  
Jessie sighed, throwing up her hands, "Fine! I'll go! But I better be able to talk to Katie a lot!"  
  
"It's all part of the deal. A nice house on the beach.. free long distance telephone calls.. spending money," Rick said proudly, glad his job was providing this for his family.  
  
They all waited on Grace to agree, but Grace couldn't do that. "Do I have a choice?"  
  
"Grace, there is no where else for you to go," Her mother said gently.  
  
"I'll live at Dad's!" Grace said, grasping at straws. "Please.."  
  
"Grace, we're a family. We have to stick together." Lily said firmly.  
  
"That's not fair!" Grace stood up, glaring at Lily and Rick, "That's not fair!" She rushed past them and up the stairs to her room, where she clutched the book of poetry Augustus had given her and cried.  
  
* * *  
  
"Grace.." Her mother said softly a little while later as she let herself into Grace's room.  
  
Grace turned her body on her bed so she faced the wall instead of her mother.  
  
"I'm sorry, honey," Her mother sat down on the edge of the bed. "I just don't understand why you're so upset about this.." When Grace didn't provide an answer, Lily spoke up again, "Is it because of Eli?"  
  
"No, it's not because of Eli!"  
  
"Gracie? Then why won't you give this a chance?"  
  
Grace turned on her back and looked up into her mother's eyes. "You don't understand."  
  
"Then tell me, so I will understand," Her mother prompted. Grace was silent. "No matter how much you hate it, you still have to go, Grace."  
  
"I know, mother."  
  
Her mother uneasily got off the bed and began to head towards the door. She looked back at Grace and began to say something, but changed her mind and went out the door instead.  
  
* * *  
  
They were going to leave in two weeks. On February 19th, Grace's life was going to change. She was going to be going to Australia! It wasn't fair at all, and Grace hated it. She hated her mother for making her do this. And now she had to go and tell Augustus this horrid news. Grace parked in front of his house.  
  
Augustus opened the sliding doors to her in pleasant surprise. "Grace!" Then he saw the look on her face. "What is it?"  
  
Grace walked in his kitchen, shutting the door behind her. He looked at her with patient concern. Grace looked into his wonderful caring eyes and felt her own eyes fill up with tears. She sank into his arms and cried. When her tears had dried up, she let it out. "My family is moving to Australia!" Augustus' gentle eyes widened, but he didn't say anything, and the silence prompted Grace to continue. "Rick's boss asked him to design a hotel in Australia, and so we all have to move there for four months. We leave on the 19th."  
  
Augustus smiled gently down at her worried face, "Grace, it's not the end of the world."  
  
"I know, but I don't want what we have to end!" Grace moved out of his arms.  
  
"But, it doesn't have to." Augustus said firmly.  
  
"But it's four months!" Grace took a deep breath, and looked away, "I can't expect you to just wait for me like that."  
  
"No, you can't expect me to, but Grace, I will. I want to. You're the one I love and if we can't survive four months apart, then it's not meant to be." Augustus reached for her and Grace reluctantly went back in his arms.  
  
"I guess." Grace looked up into his eyes, "I love you."  
  
"I love you too," Augustus bent his head down and they shared a comforting kiss. "The19th, huh? That still gives us two weeks together."  
  
Grace smiled for the first time since entering his house, "Yeah."  
  
Augustus spirits lifted as she smiled. He kissed her again, deeper and longer this time. His fingers ran through her straight brown hair. She lifted her hands to his back. In the middle of the kiss, Grace let out a sound that was half sigh and half sob. Augustus pulled back and saw in alarm that she was crying. His heart tore at the trail of tears falling down her cheek. "Grace!"  
  
Grace shook her head silently, "I love too much. It hurts to leave you."  
  
"Oh, Grace." Augustus pulled her into a hug. Grace wet his shirt with tears once again.  
  
Then Grace pulled back, her eyes filled with pain, "I should go. My mother is expecting me back soon."  
  
"Stay, please. You'll find a way to explain to your mother," Augustus pleaded, not wanting to let her go when she was still hurting. He wanted to find a way to take away her pain, but he didn't know how.  
  
"No, I really should go." Grace moved towards the door, "I'll see you later, okay?"  
  
"Grace." Augustus sighed as she went out the door. He had to find a way to make her feel better. He had to find a way to make her know that he would wait for her while she was in Australia. Augustus heard her car start up on the street and pull away. He grabbed his own keys and his wallet. He just might know what to do. It was something that felt extremely right. He smiled as he went out the door, his hopes lifted.  
  
* * * 


	34. The End

~A Once and Again series~  
  
Life is what you make of it  
  
I hate hate to say this, but this will be the last chapter to this series! Ahh.. it's been fun, but it's time to end it. Don't worry, there will be a happy ending (at least for some of you! Sorry Grace/Eli fans! Someday maybe I'll write a fanfic that is just based on the two of them.). And I'll write more Grace/Dimitri fanfics of course.. I have one up already, "Now and Then" if you haven't noticed! : ) Anyways, enjoy and thanks so much for reading and reviewing!!! It's been fun!!  
  
Chapter 34//The End  
  
Grace went to his house reluctantly. She had been in a depressed mood all week. She just couldn't help but count down the days until she had to leave Augustus behind. But Augustus had caught her in the hallway of school and had told her she had to come to his house. He had something important to tell her, he had said. Grace had agreed, but knew that every minute more she spent with him alone just hurt more, because she knew she had to soon leave him. He promised things would be the same when she got back and kept saying it was only four months, but Grace didn't hear him. All she felt was the pain of separating from him.  
  
The lights were out, and Grace almost didn't stop at his house, but then pulled to a stop, thinking if he had gone somewhere, he'd be back soon. She went to wait by his back door and was surprised when she found it open. She looked in the doorway at the vast darkness and called out, "Augustus?"  
  
No answer, instead the light sound of music playing in the living room drifted up to her. Grace's fears dropped away as she headed towards the sound of the music. Candles were lit in the living room, giving it a soft warm glow. A beautiful song Grace didn't recognize filled her ears. Augustus wasn't in the room. "Augustus?" Grace called again.  
  
Still no answer and then Grace realized the candles formed a path that led out of the living room and into the hall. Grace followed the path, smiling at all the work Augustus had put into this. The candles led her into his bedroom and stopped before the bed. Augustus wasn't in here either. Grace looked around the room in confusion, wondering why he went up to all this, only to be hiding away from her. Grace thought it was possible that she had come too early or something and he hadn't finished setting things up. But everything looked nicely set up to her - the only thing missing was him.  
  
Grace walked to the bed and was going to sit down and wait for him, when she saw the little black box sitting open on top of the bed. Grace gasped as the candle light bounced off the ring, making it glimmer. She turned around in a circle and finally saw Augustus. He stood in the doorway, waiting.  
  
"Well?" He asked.  
  
"Huh?" Grace managed, her tongue lay uselessly in her mouth. Her heart had sped up and she kept thinking that this couldn't be happening.  
  
"Will you marry me?" Augustus walked to her, and picked up the ring box and presented it to her.  
  
Grace smiled speechlessly. She looked up into his eyes, filling her own eyes filling up with warm, happy tears. "Are you serious?" Came flying out her mouth.  
  
"Of course. We'll have a long engagement, but eventually we will get married, that's if you accept this?"  
  
"Yes!" Grace cried happily. She leaned into him, kissing him. "Yes!" She cried again, throwing her arms around him with such passion that they almost went tipping over on the candles.  
  
Augustus grinned happily, "You just made me the happiest man alive."  
  
"Good, because you have made me the happiest woman alive," Grace smiled joyfully up at him.  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I love you."  
  
****************The End********************  
  
Okay, here's what happened after this story ended  
  
Grace goes to Australia with her family and with a ring and a promise. She emails Augustus a lot and they talk on the phone. Eventually, Grace gets to come back home and they have a happy reunion. Grace finds out Augustus has left the school and is now working on another book of poetry and on writing a play. Grace is 18 now, and they are legally allowed to see each other. They eventually tell Lily, Rick and Jake and everyone about the two of them.  
  
Lily doesn't take it that good, but she can see how much Grace loves him. But Lily is also horrified to find out how long the relationship had been going on for. Jake hates having a man his age date his daughter and doesn't take it good at all. Jessie is angered by it too, but she eventually gets over it. And Eli accepts it, because he realized long ago that he was not the right one for Grace and that Augustus was. Grace graduates high school one semester early and Augustus and Grace get married, and everyone, including her parents are there, even though they don't exactly like it yet, especially her dad.  
  
Grace and Augustus live happily ever after, and bring three kids into the world Augustus Jr., Hope, and Faith. 


End file.
